Page 81 of Christmas at the Movies
Holly began to wail and that set Nick off too.
‘Are you OK?’ asked Sarah frantically. ‘Did the sauce burn you?’
Once she’d checked Holly over, Sarah sank to the floor in relief, clutching both of her babies close.
That was how James found them – all three of them sobbing, the floor covered in red sauce like a blood-splattered murder scene.
‘Oh, my God.’ He stared at the carnage in alarm. ‘What happened here?’
‘Daddy!’ cried Holly, running over to him and throwing her arms around his legs. ‘I was just trying to help Mummy!’
‘Pam phoned me and said she was worried about you,’ James said, taking Nick off Sarah. ‘So I asked Roger to cover for me tonight.’
Sarah went into the living room and lay on the sofa, staring at the ceiling as her thoughts spiralled out of control.I’m a bad mother. Holly and Nick are going to be taken away from me.
She was dimly aware of James making Holly’s dinner, then taking both children upstairs for a bath. Once he’dput them to bed, he came downstairs and cleaned the kitchen. When he finally joined her in the living room, Sarah braced herself for what he was about to say.
‘James, I—’
He held up his hand. ‘We’ll talk later.’
He made her cheesy scrambled eggs, buttered toast and a cup of tea. She was ravenous and devoured it quickly, so James made her another round of toast. It tasted so good.
While she was eating, he ran her a bath with lavender-scented bubbles. After a long soak, she changed into the pyjamas he’d left warming on the radiator and felt almost human again.
She went into their bedroom, where Nick was sleeping in his Moses basket. She gazed at her son and silently promised him that she’d do better.
‘Come here,’ said James, throwing back the covers and inviting her into bed.
She got in and curled up next to him.
James stroked her hair. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t realise how much you were struggling.’
‘It’s not your fault,’ she whispered. ‘I didn’t want anyone to know. I was ashamed.’ If James hadn’t come home early tonight, she might have been able to clean everything up before he got back. But it was no use pretending any more. ‘I can’t stop worrying. About the baby. About everything. These terrible thoughts are going round and round my head. I feel like I’m going mad.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me sooner?’
‘You’re so busy with the cinema. I didn’t want to burden you.’
James squeezed her hand. ‘You and the kids are more important than the cinema.’
‘I’m a terrible mother, James. Nick hates me. And you probably hate me too, now that you’ve seen what a mess I am.’
‘I could never hate you,’ promised James. ‘But Iamworried about you.’
‘I’m scared, James,’ Sarah whispered.
He put his arm around her and hugged her tight. ‘You’re going to be OK,’ he said, stroking her damp hair. ‘We’ll get through this together. I promise.’
Six weeks later, Geraldine arrived with an overnight case.
‘There’s plenty of breast milk in the freezer,’ said Sarah. ‘The GP’s number is by the phone in the kitchen. Remember to make sure Holly goes to the toilet before bed. She gets three stories at bedtime, but will try to get to you to read more. Nick needs to sleep on his back—’
‘Go,’ said Geraldine, shooing her out of the door. ‘Or you’ll miss your train.’
Sarah and James were going to London for the night. They were staying in Pari’s new house in Notting Hill while she was away in Los Angeles, visiting one of her clients on set. Her agency was thriving. She had a staff of ten and represented several up-and-coming stars. One of her actors had landed a main part in a superhero franchise, earning her an enormous commission and making her the hottest agent in town.
Pari had recently taken on an agent to represent screenwriters. ‘When you finish your screenplay, we can represent you,’ she’d told Sarah.
