Page 59 of Sophie's Ruin
The shadows wrapped around Henry, and I watched his eyes widen in shock a second before he was dragged to the side and slammed into the ground. Once his hand had left my throat, I swiftly jumped to my feet. Henry didn’t stay down for long, popping back up and rushing toward me. He jerked to a stop inches away from me, his lips parting as a low, wheezing sound escaped. Our eyes locked and held, and there was so much in his gaze. Shock, dismay, longing, love…sorrow. Slowly, his gaze lowered, and I followed it down to his chest, to where my claws had sunk in so deep that my fingers were buried in his rib cage. His heart beat against my palm as if my fingers were wrapped around the organ. They weren’t, but I held his life in my hand, nonetheless. Black magic slithered down my arm, pumping into Henry’s body, boiling the blood in his veins and shattering his bones.
Suddenly, the veil of darkness lifted, and I realized what I was doing. I was hurting him. I was…killing him. With a sharp gasp, I pulled my hand back, my fingers leaving his chest with a sickening sound. Henry gasped, too, and went to drop to theground, but I held him up, bringing him flush with me, the blood from his wound soaking into my tunic. His face was so close that we shared a breath.
“No, no, no,” I whispered over and over again, as if the word were a chant, an incantation to turn back time, to undo what I’d done.
My shadows swirled around me, but they were no help—they couldn’t take me back. Tears welled and spilled, burning as they rushed down my face. I wondered if they were black like tar. Black like my magic…like my soul.
“It will be okay,” Henry whispered, blood bubbling up and spilling from his mouth, painting his perfect lips crimson.
It felt like I was bleeding with him. I was drowning in blood, choking on it, as my heart ruptured into a million pieces. Terror seized me as I stared into his dulling blue eyes, seeing my own demise. Life was bleeding out of him, and without him, I would cease to exist.
“I love you,” Henry said, barely above a whisper, or maybe I only thought he did.
A keening, mournful sound tore from my throat as I slid to the ground with him a dead weight in my arms.
Darkness surrounded me. I was standing in the middle of it, completely and utterly alone. Only this time, it wasn’t a dream. It was my reality.
29
“We can be together now,” the darkness whispered. “Without him standing in our way.”
A piercing sob escaped as I looked down at Henry. He lay unmoving in my arms, his beautiful blue eyes open but unseeing. So much blood. His blood was soaking my clothes and seeping into my skin. I knew I would never be able to wash it away. It would forever stain my body and my soul. I trembled as I stared down at him and wept, my tears landing on his perfect face. He hadn’t decayed like the others, and I didn’t know if it was a blessing or a curse. It was a blessing because he hadn’t turned to dust, drifting through my fingers. I could still hold him in my arms. But it was also a curse, all for the same reason, because he was still here as if there was something I could do to bring him back. I knew I couldn’t—his heart wasn’t beating. It had stopped—I’dstopped it with my terrible magic.
When the darkness wrapped around my shoulders in an attempt to comfort me, I flinched away and shouted in a raw voice, “Get away from me! I don’t want to be with you! I only want to be with him!”
The darkness recoiled at my outburst but didn’t leave, lingering nearby.
“The heartbreak you’re feeling right now is temporary,” it whispered. “It will pass, but the power I offer you will last forever if only you give in.”
“Forever?” I rasped, and the darkness whispered back a confirmation. “Forever means nothing if Henry is not by my side. I don’t want forever without him.”
“Foolish girl,” the darkness seethed. “You don’t understand your potential. You’re stronger than most.”
“You’re wrong. I’m weak. I’m weak without him.”
Iwasweak, wasn’t I? I’d let the darkness warp my mind. I’d lost sight of who I was, and that had cost Henry his life, because he’d fought for me even when I hadn’t been worth fighting for.
Perhaps I should give in and let the darkness swallow me whole. After all, there was nothing left for me in this world if Henry was no longer in it. Maybe if I gave in, the darkness would take away the pain. It would consume my soul, and without it, I wouldn’t feel like my heart had been carved out of my chest. I would feel very little, if anything at all.
“Yes, give in,” the darkness hissed, inching closer to where I was sitting on the ground, clutching Henry’s body to mine.
I curled into him, trying to hide from the darkness, looking for his protection even though he could no longer offer it. Shadows swarmed around me, heavy and dark. Squeezing my eyes shut, I buried my head in Henry’s chest, right above the gnarly wound I’d inflicted.
“Leave him. Come with me,” came the darkness’s eerie whisper in my ear.
Leave him? I would not leave him. I would remain here with him until the sun rose and turned us both to dust. We would go into the void together, where I would beg for his forgiveness. I would beg for eternity if I had to.
The shadows around me thickened, churning faster, creating a vortex. They were trying to urge me to move, to let go ofHenry’s body. The merciless wind lashed at me, tearing at my clothes and whipping my hair. It felt like being in the middle of a storm. I sat unmoving, curled into Henry, my head on his hard chest. Focusing on his scent, I breathed him in and let the roaring sounds around me fade into the background. I created a cocoon around us in my mind, an impenetrable shield that protected us from the storm raging on the outside.
I wasn’t sure how much time had passed as I sat there, holding Henry and listening to my own breathing and the beating of my heart. I didn’t care, either. The sun would rise soon and put me out of my misery. Its warm rays would burn my skin and disintegrate my flesh and bones. I would welcome death because that was the only end I deserved after what I’d done.
Thump.
My breath snagged in my throat. I went incredibly still as I listened, shutting out the sound of my own heart. The thump I’d just heard…I was desperate to hear it again. I would do anything to hear it again, but silence reigned.
Must have been my imagination.I let the air whoosh out of my lungs. My mind was playing tricks on me.
Thump.
