Page 21 of Taken to Nobu
I drop my gaze. He sits up until he can reach me, then slides one finger under my chin, forcing me to meet his strange, alien look with one of my own, even if I try to shutter it. I’m sure he can see through me though. I feel utterly transparent. I want to kiss him and lick my lips, hating my reaction, but wanting to kiss him all the same.
“Just sleep,” I tell him.
He strokes the side of my face lovingly, and looks at me like I’m the sun to his universe. Heat begins to build between my legs and his rumbling gets louder. “Hurry back, or I will have to come and hunt for you.”
I wince at the word, a memory of an alien — this one red and savage — loping after me across hard, packed sands, a look of gleeful determination in his eyes, making me cringe. I pull away quickly and go to the door, refusing to look back as I step through it into the hall. It’s empty, but flashes of a half-heard conversation steer me to the left.
Careful not to touch the weird lamps that flicker with movement like glow-in-the-dark snakes, I run my hand along the wall’s bumpy surface to keep myself steady and eventually, I hear rustling up ahead and come upon an open door.
Kuaku —the bitch— is standing just beyond the threshold and I can’t imagine what she sees because her ridges are a mutiny of colors — everything from copper and red to grey and black. Colors I can’t name seem to strip her bare. Even her shoulders are tense by her strange pointy ears.
I understand her shock. I would be shocked too. I’mstillshocked even though I’m not the one in love with him.Even though when he says he loves me, I believe he’s telling the truth.Standing before her covered in thick swabs of blue cum drying haphazardly across my skin, I swallow hard, open my mouth, but I can’t speak. I have nothing to say in my own defense.
Her eyes slit and she hisses, “Don’t tell me you’re having second thoughts.”
Is it that obvious?I shake my head.Wait — what am I even here for?“I’m not. I just…I told him I’d be right back.”
“Don’t worry. I plan on keeping him plenty distracted.”
Jealousy warps my pitch. It comes out higher, more sure. “What are you going to do?”
“Why do you care? You don’t even want him, remember? He’s an alien. Beneath you.”
I’ve heard as much from Jaxel and my own internal monologue for the past two rotations. They’re all I’ve focused on. What I’ve built my new self and my new self’s entire world around. But hearing the words from her now make them feel so trite. So worthless.
“Maybe this is too risky. And he seems…”Don’t say it.“He seems reasonable. Maybe I can speak with him and we can figure out a solution.” I look away, ashamed at my own uncertainty. What happened to me? A good fuck isn’t worth abandoning Svera and Miari.
She balks scathingly, in a way that makes me feel worse than I already do. “A solution to what?” In the dim light, her pure, black eyes flash with murder. “You think he wouldeverlet you return to your home planet? Or somehow try to interfere with the Rakukanna and the Raku’s relationship? He would never let you near her — either of them. You are on trial because of what you did.”
My heart feels like it’s being dragged through coals. So much for hope.Hope is a useless fucking emotion. Everyone is just as bad as I think they are… “What trial?”
The colors in her face dim and she uncrosses her arms from over her flat, plated chest. “As soon as the first icefall is over, you and the other traitor who tried to stop the Raku from finding his Xiveri mate will face a trial by combat. You’ll have to fight Voraxia’s most vicious warriors and if you lose, you’ll likely be banished beyond the tundra to Nobu’s endless ice ocean where you can try to survive. Most don’t and you’re not equipped for it.
“And even if you somehowdomanage to defeat your opponent which, let me repeat, will be impossible — then youmightbe allowed to settle here and keep your position as Xhea. Might. Perhaps the Raku will want to do something else with you for the trouble you caused him.”
“But would the Okkari really let the Raku banish me?”
“Who do you think the Okkari reports to? Raku outranks him. He is leader of our entire federation. Not that the Okkariwouldtry to defy him. Why do you think he left you on that human moon even when heknewyou were his Xiveri mate? He is a soldier first and deeply loyal to Voraxia. Why would he chooseyouover an entire galaxy?”
My heart is pounding. My fists are clenched. “But the Okkari hasn’t mentioned any of this. And he’s made it seem…”Oh stars, no. Don’t even think it. Don’t breathe it life. Don’t be so fucking naive.
“How can you believe that he thinks anything of you beyond your capacity to breed kits for him?” Soft, cruel laughter floats between us. “You need to escape now if it is truly your desire to see your people again. If you even value your own life.”
Her tail flicks back and forth behind her and reminds me of the sand cats that used to roam the human moon. The last of them died out a few generations back but I still saw carvings of them. My dad used to make them out of petrified nightshade and sell them at the market.Dry sand swirling through the air. Every other market conversation punctuated by my dad’s rolling laughter.But he left us when I was young. After my mom went through the Hunt. My parents started fighting then. Everything changed. Because all the Hunt does is ruin.
Energy drains out of my shoulders and fleetingly forgotten hate froths in my mouth. “You’re right,” I tell her. “What now?”
“Come.” She leads me into the room behind her and then through a labyrinthine maze. She knows her way well, like she’s been here before. A pang of treacherous irritation flares again, and makes me remember yet again why I need to be free of this place.I can’t believe for a second that I forgot. I can’t believe for a second that I wanted to believe in him.
My left knee threatens capitulation and my stomach lurches and sinks. The strange thread tearing through my abdomen has begun to unravel — not itself, but the rest of me. I force myself to plunge on, even though every step feels like wading through the mire. The temperature gets cooler the farther we go until finally, the walls turn white.
We enter a small room, the cold so desperately cold I can’t imagine what in the comets this will mean for the outside. Thankfully, the bitch thought ahead and turns to me with a fur-lined outfit similar to the one I wore before. Shoving aside one last hesitation, I shove my feet into the in-built shoe holds, surprised that the legs don’t bunch up around the ankles and hips like the last one did. I lace up the chest piece and throw the hood over the bushel of my tangled hair and as I hold up my now-gloved hands I see that there are five fingers on these gloves instead of six.The suit was made for me.
Emotion taunts me and for just a fraction of a second I wonder if this is the right decision, if I just shouldn’t go back.Why would I go back when he didn’t even tell me about my trial? Unless…
“How doyouknow about my trial?” I say, voice leveled heavy with accusation.
But the bitch just laughs. “Everyone in Voraxia knows about your treason. All anyone talks about are the tortures the Raku will devise for you for attempting to keep him from his Xiveri mate.”
