Page 28 of Taken to Heimo
“And the rest?” Krisxox mumbles, distracting me.
“Verax.”
“The others who aren’t believers in this god of yours, what do they believe in?”
I sigh, “Well, some have faith in some version of a higher power, whether it’s the Tri-God or not is not clear. Some believe in spirits and ancestors and pray to them just as I pray to my Tri-God. Some believe in karma — a notion that means that your good and bad deeds are repaid onto you in this life or the next — some believe in some cosmic force in the universe — ”
“Xana and Xaneru?”
I shrug. “It might very well be, but by another name.”
“And the others?”
“Some believe in nothing at all. That we are all just here living together in this universe as a happy accident. That we are all just products of the machinations of the elements that created us.”
He is quiet long enough for me to refocus on the screen, and then he interrupts me again. “Your Rakukanna and Va’Rakukanna don’t believe in your god.”
“Nox,” I huff, annoyed and not just because I’ve been interrupted, but because this is the longest conversation we’ve ever had and it’s when I’m angriest and most vulnerable.He is a clever strategist.
“The Rakukanna is a devout believer in science, but after she found her Xiveri mate, I’ve heard her say things that dare me to believe she’s questioning that. I believe she’s found a little faith in something else.”
“In what?”
“Magic.” I grin against my better judgement and look at him over my shoulder.
Color blasts through his ridges that makes my whole abdomen clench. My legs tighten even though they’re terribly sore and I wince.
Krisxox clears his throat loudly. “And your…Va’Rakukanna? What does she believe?”
I’m breathing harder as I say, “Up until very recently, she believed in the same thing you do.”
“What is that?”
“Hate.”
I go back to my screen, but Krisxox, the brute, is insistent! “And now?”
“Now? Oh, I don’t know. Perhaps the Xana. Perhaps nothing. Perhaps only the Va’Raku, her Okkari. She worships him just as he worships her.”
“Is that why she is not the advisor? Because she does not worship the right god?”
“Nox! Of course not!” I whirl around to face him, fingers forming fists. “She is not the advisor because she is Xhea to her people. She wouldn’t have the time.”
“And you do?”
“I do. And I care. In a universe where we are wanted only for our ability to bring pleasure, someone has to care about us.”
His jaw clenches and his teeth press against his tense upper lip. He opens his mouth to speak, but I…I am not myself. I don’t let him.
“Don’t! Don’t Krisxox. Don’t say something you don’t mean.”
“I…”
“Shut up!” The words whip out of me and he flinches back from them harder than when he was whipped in front of me.
Shame.It hurts me down to my toes.
I feel it grip the backs of my eyes. I swallow it down.
