Page 31 of Taken to Heimo
Braided back into two long braids, each one hangs over my shoulder to reach my breast. Fixed with small rubbery bands that match the color of my hair, I take another breath.
This is it. I can do this.
Shame hits me.
I don’t know. Maybe not…
I smooth down the soft hairs at my hairline and take another fortifying breath. In. Out. Ahh. Be strong.
“What are you doing?” Krisxox barks as soon as I gather the basket with my things —things Krisxox gathered for me— and the second basket with gifts for Miari and head towards the door.
I stop and look at him, confused. My face scrunches.Don’t breathe. Stay strong.“I’m home. I’m preparing to disembark.”
Snarling, he snatches up one of the head scarves I unpacked and left on my pallet. “Yourhair. Won’t your Tri-God punish you for this? Or did you forget him already?”
Tears. They come with the shame that chokes my throat. I blink many times and shake my head, trying to feel anything but rage. But I don’t.
“I don’t need it anymore.” I start towards the door.
Krisxox charges across the room, blocking my way. He shakes the veil in my face like a physical manifestation of the Tri-God laughing at my shame.
“Verax.”
“I owe you no explanation.” I try to side-step him, but he’s too broad, filling up the doorway with his beautiful red skin. His chest is bare. It always is. I want to sink my nails into it, climb up onto him and rut him all over again.
The insides of my thighs shake, struggling to even keep my own weight. I’m so tired. Mentally and physically, I’m drained. And this was supposed to be a happy day. What sort of state will I be in for Miari? I’m supposed to be strong for her.
Shame.
“Svera, tell me. What is it?” His voice breaks and when I look up into his stark, angry face, he swallows several times and I feel…too tired to fight.
“Only virgins wear the veil. Women who are married or ruined no longer wear it.”
He stiffens. “Ruined?”
“Hexa. Ruined. I am not married and I broke a tenet of the Tri-God. I will have to denounce myself before the congregation and the priestesses and priests will have to decide whether or not I’m removed from the congregation, or forced to repent in order to remain.”
Krisxox is shaking his head. I’ve never seen his eyes so large and for a moment, I’m absolutely terrified of him.
“Krisxox,pleasemove out of my way. These baskets are heavy.”And I’m still weak from rutting you so thoroughly.
He takes the baskets from me so rapidly, my whole body pitches. He catches me against his chest, sets the baskets down and quickly, madly, begins wrapping the scarf he’s holding around my head.
He covers my eyes and nose and my whole head. Is he trying to suffocate me?
“Krisxox!”
“You arenotruined.”
“Krisxox, stop!” I flail out and manage to dislodge his hold. I back into the room and my calves hit the edge of the pallet. I plop down onto it, landing directly in my pile of scarves.
“I did not ruin you. I did not do this thing to you…”
His ridges are flashing now and the colors surprise me. They’re grey. Grey is for grief.
Something twists in the place where my two hearts now sit. I reach up and catch my chest. I feel like falling apart.Inhale. Exhale… Ahh… Breathe. Release.
“Krisxox, you had no choice. I…provoked you. But it’s done now. I am a ruined woman in the eyes of my congregation. It’s fine. It isn’t like I was going to have any luck finding a male from my congregation anyway. I’m too pale and even if Iweredesired, you’re here. You wouldn’t let me find another mate. You couldn’t. You’re my Xiveri. Even if you hate me, you have no choice but to defend me. So just…please get out of my way.”
