Page 35 of Here to Stay
I stopped for a second to drink some more of my beer because I knew this new development was not going to be as easy to dismiss as the others. “You know we’re here to make recommendations that will most likely end up cutting the funds for her programs in the foundation. Me doing my job is most likely going to do away with hers. You know I’ll do it too.”
Dani’s eyebrows were so close together by the time I was done, he looked like he had a unibrow.
“I can’t fuck with this project, you know that.” What was there left to say? “This whole crush is ill-advised and will totally blow up in my face. I need to just keep things friendly—”
Dani spoke while Tariq drained his beer. “Rocco man, it is not as dire as you think it is. I mean Julia loves that program, but it is what it is. She knows it’s not all on you.” Except Phil and Duke were getting less and less subtle about how they were hoping something blew up with the foundation so they could pull the plug on it. I also could not deny that the costs of running the foundation would have an impact on investor buy-in once they went public.
But I didn’t say any of that and let Dani keep talking. In a weird way—even though I knew things with Julia couldn’t end well—it was nice to hear people this invested in my happiness. And Dani had more to say on that. “Also, and I say this without trying to sound glib, you don’t know what’s going to happen. Who knows what will go down with this IPO. Also it’s not like you can’t get work here. There are consulting firms in Dallas. Big ones.”
“That man is making good points,” Tariq added, even as his face went very serious. “Not that I wouldn’t miss you, but dude, we’ve been working together for a couple of years and you’ve been different here. In a good way.”
The urge to shut down this conversation rocked me. This was a line of thinking that led to disappointment, complications, and heartbreak, serious fucking heartache. I shifted in my seat and exhaled, feeling desperate.
I couldn’t go there. “Julia Ortiz could break me.”
“Damn, bruh, you need to relax. It’s not that deep.”
Okay, so I’d said that out loud.
“Thanks for the pep talk, guys, but for now I think I’ll keep my crush to myself.” I slumped on the chair, worn out by the conversation. “My main focus is my sister and Blue.”
Dani put his hand up then, conceding my point. “Okay, I’ll chill.”
Tariq agreed too. He knew how much I had riding on this. “All right, my man, that bag needs to be secured before you think about your love life. I gotchu. But women like Julia are the type that come along to alter a life plan.”
Dani grunted in agreement as I sat there fighting for breath after Tariq’s verbal gut punch.
I lifted my glass then anyway, because even though my love life continued to be a study in “failure to thrive,” I finally had friends.
“Thanks for the advice. I can’t take it at the moment, but I still appreciate it.”
Just as I was ready to shut the conversation down, I saw a text pop up from Julia just to me.
Julia: Are you getting harassed too?
I felt an electric shock ripple through my body as I read the message. Like a door I’d thought was closed forever had just been pried open.
Rocco: Yes.
My heart pounded, wondering if Julia would give me a reason to believe all the things that Dani just tried to tell me. If like me, she was struggling with ignoring what was happening between us.
Julia: Ignore them. That’s what I’m doing.
What I’d felt after Tariq said Julia was worth altering my life plan for had been a love tap. This was a gut punch. Eye-watering, debilitating, gasp-for-air punch. So hard and so strong that I almost hunched over. But it was the wake-up call I needed.
I texted a thumbs-up emoji and shut down my phone. I looked up at Dani and Tariq who were giving me curious, semi-worried looks.
“It’s nothing.” I schooled my face like it was no big deal and grabbed a menu. “What incredibly unhealthy food are we going to enjoy during this game none of us really care about?”
Julia
“Wow, you’re grumpy.”
José was not one to soften the blow and I was probably looking particularly pissed. I stood from the table I’d snagged at our favorite taco place.
I sat down, gratefully taking the margarita José had ordered for me. “What’s with the face? Did something happen with the funding?” I shook my head, since thankfully things seemed quiet in that department.
“Bless you.” I took a sip of the delicious drink and then closed my eyes, sighing. “I ran into one of the students from the program and his mom as I was leaving for the day. Seems like they were waiting for Vicki.” I cracked up at the stank face José made at the mention of my workplace nemesis. “Who was apparently giving them a ride home.” I had to really level up my outrage when José didn’t seem scandalized enough by Vicki’s bullshit. “It’s against agency policy to do stuff like that. The rules are very clear. If a client needs help getting home we have funds to get them an Uber or taxi, not drive them. She’s supposed to be modeling behavior since she’s the clinical director, for fuck’s sake.”
