Page 60 of Here to Stay
Paula stopped short when she got a good look at us and retreated. “Okaaayyy... I’m just going to grab some seltzer and go back to the bomb-ass guest suite.”
She wiggled a finger in my direction, her face scrunched, like she could smell us. “Um, your clothes are a little messy.” She looked up at Rocco, whose face could not look much better than mine, opened her mouth, closed it, shook her head, and walked away.
We both stood frozen as she got a can of seltzer out of Rocco’s fridge. He put his hands on my hips, in that same possessive way he’d been touching me before, but it was like I’d had a bucket of cold water dumped on my head.
I couldn’t believe I’d done that. And with my sister just down the hall.
Who was I even fooling? That’s why I was here. Because I’d wanted to be alone with him. Because I knew this would happen. I could use Paula as an excuse, but I could’ve said no. I’d come here for something, and I’d gotten it. Now I had to live with the consequences.
When we heard Paula’s door close, he pressed up against me, his cock against my back. And I was right back in it with him, wanting things that I could not have.
“We almost got caught.” He sounded a little frazzled, but underneath that was that growliness that had me begging just minutes earlier. That smile against my neck made me shiver.
I almost melted into him again. It was hard to think when he pressed small kisses on my neck. I wanted him again, this time in a bed, with him driving into me. I knew it would be amazing, his big body moving with mine. I knew now, just from this taste of him. Once I’d fully had him, there was no going back.
I couldn’t.
I’d lost years with Matt, because I always found an excuse to focus on him and get derailed from my own goals. I could not do that again.
I took Rocco’s hands off my hips and turned to look at him. As soon as he saw me, the sexy little grin on his lips disappeared and his eyes went blank. I fucking hated myself in that moment, but Rocco had his responsibilities and I had mine.
“I need to go bed.” I made a circular motion between us and then gestured toward his raging erection. “I’m sorry.”
I stepped back and away and headed to the room right across from his. Without turning, I whispered, “Good night.”
I thought I heard a response, but I let myself into my room without looking back.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Julia
“Dude, what the fuck is your deal? I had to leave a stack of blueberry pancakes because you made us run out of that place like your ass was on fire.”
“Paula! Language!” That was my dad, who was sitting on the couch watching the news as my sister and I blew into my apartment before 7:00 a.m. I’d stormed out of Rocco’s place after barely saying three words to him. It was so fucking rude, but I had no idea how to act around him after last night. And there was no way I could eat the pancakes that he’d made with the same hands that made me come so hard I almost blacked out.
“Sorry, Papi,” Paula said not at all contritely as we both walked over to give him a quick hug.
“You’re back early.”
I knew I was all out of sorts and my father had a hell of a radar for when anyone in his family was upset.
I nodded and redirected the conversation. “Where are Mami and Abue? They still here?”
“Yes.” I almost laughed at the agony in his voice. “Your mom and abuela are getting ready for the shopping.” His tone indicated he wanted no part of today’s plans. I nodded and moved to go get myself some coffee, since I’d barely had two sips of the perfectly prepared macchiato Rocco made for me this morning. Paula came in right behind me and just stared at me with her arms crossed on her chest.
“Julia, I’m serious. You were rude as fuck to him this morning.” She looked at the front door as if an imaginary Rocco was standing there waiting for an explanation for my shitty behavior. I closed my eyes and saw his crestfallen face when I’d turned down the food he’d offered us. I felt nauseous thinking of how I’d acted. “What gives, Lita? I thought things were going well between you two, at least from what I—”
I sawed my hand through the air and snapped a bit more forcefully than I wanted at her. “Paula, stop.”
I turned around and before I answered her, I took three deep breaths, trying not to take out my annoyance at myself on her. I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes. My day would not get better by picking a fight with my sister.
“I wanted to get back here. I promised Mami and Abue I’d go with them to the good outlet mall in Grand Prairie and we have to get there early. It’s going to be a madhouse over there today.”
This was exactly why I didn’t want to start something with Rocco. I was lying and feeling like shit. If we got together, it would only be more lying and more shittiness. I needed to remember that. “Please, Pau, just chill, all right? I’m strung a little tight right now.”
I don’t know if it was the quiver in my voice or my general desperation, but something about how I looked made my sister’s eyes widen, as if finally realizing I was a more than a little frazzled. Right at that moment, my dad, who until now had kept his attention on the TV, sauntered to where we stood in tense silence.
“Did something happen this morning?”
