Page 17 of Just for the Holidays
She’d known that was the reason why she’d barely even kissed another man in all these years. It was like having to live on fast food when you’d gotten used to filet mignon. And she wanted another taste of him, even if was just one last goodbye. She’d wait for him to get back, and she’d fill Gael Montez in on why the only way for them to fake this relationship convincingly was to burn off some of this sexual tension. She had a few suggestions on how exactly they could do that.
Nine
“Damn, bro. I can feel the waves of tension coming off you all the way from here.”
“Can’t I have ten seconds to myself in this place?” Gael made a frustrated noise with his back to his sister. He’d come here after Manolo had called him for the fourth time in an hour to talk about the project he was insisting Gael take, even after he’d told him on the plane he wasn’t interested. Manolo, as always, had not been happy that Gael didn’t take his advice, but his uncle had gone into a full rage when Gael told him he’d accepted the role for the Rios series. The man had launched into a tirade about how he was throwing away the work they’d done to build his brand. Gael hadn’t been in a mood to be handled and had ended the call. Hell, he wasn’t in the mood for anything. Not after how things had gone with Perla.
He was leaning on the rails on the small pier he’d built on the property. There were lamps overhead lighting the path, but Gael had chosen a dark corner to come and think. He was still at a loss of what to do about the woman he’d left in his house looking miserable.
“So testy,” Gabi responded without heat, and walked over to him until they were standing side by side. She didn’t say anything, just kept watch with him in silence until he was ready to talk.
“We should’ve gone to the condo in Ponce,” he told her.
Gabi scoffed and wrapped an arm around his waist. “You know Mami can’t handle Christmas in Puerto Rico yet. She’ll want to go visit everybody, and there’ll be people coming through the house all day. She’s not well enough for all that. Besides, she loves it here. This is her favorite place.” His sister tightened her hold on him and he was grateful for her anchoring presence in this moment when he felt so close to drifting away.
His mother did love the ocean. When he was a kid, she’d talk about her own childhood in Puerto Rico. Of growing up in Ponce and walking to the beach for a swim every morning, and he’d dreamed of giving her that. Of buying a little corner of ocean for her. And now he’d done more than that. His mother had an oceanfront condo in her beloved Ponce, a house in the Los Angeles hills with stunning views of the Pacific Ocean, and a mansion in the Hamptons with a private beach. He dearly wished he could feel something other than exhaustion when he thought about all of it.
“I’ve made a mess of things with Perla,” he blurted out. “Again.”
His sister let out a long, sympathetic sigh, and he could feel her head shaking against his shoulder. “You two are hopeless. I thought Perla would be smarter than you, but it seems like you have very adverse effects on each other’s intelligence. Dummies.” Gabi’s sad laugh blended with the crashing waves of the ocean. It was too dark to see her, but he could picture the sardonic smile on her lips. “You kissed her again, didn’t you?”
“Yes.” Gael put his head in his gloved hands as he waited for his sister to ream him out. Whatever she was about to tell him, he deserved it. Because he knew better. The kindest thing a Montez man could do for a woman he cared about was to leave her alone. What he ought to do right now was walk into the house and come clean to his mother, then stay as far from his ex as he could.
But the need to be around her was like a sickness. “I thought I was past this.”
“Past lusting after the woman you’ve been in love with since sophomore year of college?”
“I’m not in love with Perla,” he argued weakly. “Ican’tbe in love with her. I can’t be in love with anyone—you know why.”
This time his sister’s sigh was the opposite of sympathetic. “Gael, please, you have to stop with this ‘I’m cursed’ nonsense. Our father was a no-good bum, and he should’ve never—”
“It’s true, though.” Gael turned to his sister, grateful for the semidarkness, hoping it hid some of the agony on his face.
The blue tint of the moonlight cast his sister in a gloomy light, and he wondered how much her somber expression mirrored his. “I wish I’d told Mami about that bullshit you’ve had in your head all this time.”
“You can’t,” Gael warned.
“I won’t,” she sighed, tiredly. “If I haven’t done it in all this time, I’m not going to do it when she’s so frail. It would kill her to know you’ve been doing this to yourself.”
“I’m not doing anything to myself,” he answered stubbornly. “I should’ve been more careful, but as soon as I saw her it was like all the lectures I’d been giving myself burned to ashes. I’ve fronted like this was all for Mami. But that’s bullshit. I wanted her. It’s like my self-control evaporates whenever Perla’s near. And all I do is hurt her.”
“God, you’re such an idiot.” As far as confidantes went, his sister was not a coddler, but at least she was honest.
“You hurt her because you keep hanging on to that stupid curse idea and listening to Manolo. There’s no curse, Gael. You broke up with her in college because you let Manolo convince you that your career was going to suffer if you had a girlfriend. And you’re hurting her now because you’re choosing to believe our father’s ridiculous excuse to justify his cheating. The man could not take responsibility for anything.”
“If none of it is true, how come I left Perla crying in the cottage? I’ve barely been around her for a day and I’ve already made her miserable.”
“Why is she crying?” His sister’s tone told him she already knew the answer.
“Because I told her she’d regret it if things went further.”
Gabi made a sound that was a cross between sympathy and frustration. “You know, it’s a good thing you figured out a way to channel this melodramatic streak of yours into an exorbitantly lucrative career, because you are too much sometimes.”
“Way to kick a guy when he’s down, sis.”
“I’m not kicking you while you’re down. I’m telling you to get over yourself. I don’t know what you two were up to in that cottage, but by the way you were eyeing each other all day, I assume it had something to do with you and your very poorly concealed thirst.” She held her hand up, as if she could sense he was about to protest. “Nope, I’m talking. You keep hurting Perla because you refuse to accept your feelings for her, and you’re stubborn as hell. If it wasn’t because this role came up, you would’ve spent the rest of your life wondering where you went wrong. What is so bad about you wanting Perla and her wanting you back?”
“Because it can’t work.” Gael wondered who exactly he was trying to convince.
