Page 18 of Bait
“We used to be, but she’s in a triad now.” A triad. Cande bit her bottom lip with an amused look on her face at my apparently obvious confusion.
“She’s partnered two people.”
“Two?” I exclaimed like the bunker bumpkin I was. “That’s allowed?” She laughed at that and pinched my cheek.
“You’re adorable. No one is telling people how to love or live around here. We’re all busy making this place work for us again. There are no Beckers or upper-levelers taking the lion’s share of the meat while the rest of us get the scraps.” The comment about the upper-levelers made my face heat, but I could not be offended at the truth, no matter how hard it was. “It’s not perfect and there are still many dangers out there, but in this community, the only people who are allowed to have an opinion are the adults who are joining their lives.
“That’s incredible.” The idea that I could just get together with someone orsomeoneswithout the consent of a council or a hearing was almost outrageous. “Are both her partners women?” I had no idea why that was important, but I still asked it.
“One is a woman, and another is a bunker man. You remember Rodrigo from maintenance?” I did remember him, and now that I thought about it, I hadn’t seen him in years. He’d been a nice guy, assigned to repairs in the upper-level rooms.
“What happened to him?”
“He started making noise about the way they were forcing women into the program when his little sister started getting attention from an older council member.” I closed my eyes and felt the shame tighten around me like a vise.
“Don’t do that, you helped how you could, and if you’d done the same as Gregorio, you wouldn’t be here.” That gave me very little comfort when I thought of the people trapped down there.
“We have to do something.”
Candela plucked the paring knife I was now pointing at her from my hand, which diffused my intense energy.
“We will, Brains. Just be patient.” That did not do much to ease my nerves, but right then Torch came out of the shower and that was something to focus on. I could not take my eyes off him as he walked shirtless to the sleeping cabin. Had he always been that muscular? “You want to go first?” She tilted her chin in the direction of the shower. I shook my head and went to the pot on the stove.
“You go first.” I needed to get my head in order about what I wanted with Candela and Torch and figure how to convince them we had to go back to the bunker site and get people out.
ChapterEight
While Candela showered and Torch changed, I focused on finishing up the salad, while I mused about what my life would be like now. In the bunker we were all consumed with our mercurial council, and I’d never contemplated what I’d do if I had choices. I liked being the librarian, but I could barely call what I’d been doing a real job. Not when the council’s rule put people off the library for years. There were times when weeks passed before anyone came to borrow anything, why would they if we always said no.
We had story time, with the books approved by the council, which were not exactly popular. Otherwise, other than our movie nights which we thankfully could still do, I felt pretty useless in my position. But I did love books and could see myself happily being the librarian for a town like this, with lots of kids. If Candela’s dad was the librarian at the settlement, maybe he needed an assistant.
I was mulling on all that when I felt a presence behind me. I knew it wasn’t Candela, just from how much heat I felt at my back. His nearness was so unnerving the knife slid out of my hand, and I nicked my finger.
“Shit,” I cried out, dropping the blade and popping the injured digit in my mouth to suck on it.
“What the fuck, Sass?” I narrowed my eyes at him.
“Don’t sneak up on people holding knives.” He tugged on my hand until I let the finger slide out of my mouth.
“Let me see.” He was grumbling, like everything about me annoyed him, as usual. He smelled like lemons and mint, which was distracting.
“It’s fine.” I sounded equally annoyed as I pulled my hand away.
“You need to clean that up, so it doesn’t get infected.” His hair was wet from the shower he’d taken, and he was in gray sweats and a tank top. His body heat was overwhelming, and I could not stop staring at his mouth. I loved his mouth. The bow dipped into a perfect shape. He hadn’t shaved in a few days, and I could see the rough bristles. I ached to rub my hand on them. He was not built like a gladiator, not this man, with his sinew and lean frame. That didn’t make him any less deadly or less appealing to me. But he’d never seen me as anything other than a kid.
“Whether you believe it or not, I’m capable of cleaning up my own finger and wrapping it in gauze. I’m not that helpless.” He always made me feel like this, like he thought I could trip over my own feet. Which only made me lash out and act defensive. It was true that we’d been pretty sheltered all our lives, but I wasn’t so damned useless.
“I don’t think you’re helpless,” he said in that half snarl of his, taking a step back with his arms crossed over his chest. I didn’t refute what he said, because what was the point? He was always right. “I think you have a hard time asking for help.”
I looked down at his feet and saw that he was barefoot. His toes were long and thin, which fascinated me. How had I never seen his feet? It was those things that always captivated me about people and intimacy. In that bunker we’d all been stuck together, living under this supposed glorious mission to preserve humanity, and yet we knew so little about each other. We had seen so little of each other’s vulnerabilities.
I didn’t like asking for help. Especially in the bunker where it seemed like our value was centered around how useful we were to the council. I wasn’t physically strong like Candela or Torch, or even as smart as Gregorio. I believed my role as librarian mattered because helping people access knowledge or simply things that aided them in expanding their horizons or just feel good for a bit mattered. But even before my ability to really do that was hindered by the council’s restrictions, it had never been the kind of job that helped people survive. It was why I’d been so determined to give women my mother’s powder. To at least defer their subjugation, but of course it wasn’t enough. Putting off being put in a cage was not the same as blowing it up.
“Do you hate me?” Torch made a sound I remembered only too well.
“I don’t hate you.” Again with the growling.
“Pardon me if I don’t buy it given that you’re baring all your teeth at me.” He put a hand over his mouth, which kind of amused me, but I wasn’t going to let this go.
