Page 72 of Pride and Protest
CHEAT CODE
Back, somehow, by popular demand, is Longbourne’s own Colin Gruthers, self-published author ofUp from Nothing. Colin, I believe congratulations are in order? You found the best girl in the neighborhood and put a ring on it?” Liza turned her face away from the mic. She didn’t want him misreading her anger.
“Yes, asking Lucia Ochoa to marry me is the best thing I’ve ever done. I’ve tried these other neighborhood women. They all seemed to be dazzled by my persona, not seeing the real me. I daresay evenyougot the jitters when I sat down to chat with you.” His oily giggle made her stomach turn.
“By jitters, do you mean reservations?” Liza pressed the applause button and put her hand over the mic. “Do not press your luck, Colin.”
His green eyes flashed, and his smile flattened. “All jokes, folks, all jokes,” he said. “But I have a question for the host, if I can turn the tables a bit. Where are these perfect men that our high-minded sisters are holding out for? I see sisters eating alone and passing up a free meal. For what? I just don’t get thepsychology of it. What would make a person say no when they have absolutelynothingelse going for them?” He had the decency to avoid eye contact with her. Was this man’s help on the proposal worth two appearances on her show? Liza was rethinking her strategy.
“So women should be grateful foranyman’s attention if they are single?” Liza clipped through her teeth.
“If she’s single, and she’s not all that.” Colin laughed.
“Can you believe this gem’s all snatched up, ladies? Mediocre single women! He’s taken and we missed our chance to grovel.” Liza cut the feed.
“So, this is weird,” Liza said to her friend three weeks later under the dingy fluorescent lights of the district courthouse. Colin had had ten dozen roses delivered and also handed the guests expensive cards with his and Chicho’s information on them. It was a perfect combination of putting on airs and extreme haste. Chicho’s mother cried the entire time, but Liza wasn’t sure if it was despair or happiness. The flowers were just about the only thing that was nice about Chicho’s ceremony. Colin signed the papers with the flair of a man signing the Declaration of Independence.
“You made it weird by not being happy for me,” Chicho said. Her eyes were flat and narrowed. Liza’s smile was as brittle as spun sugar. She didn’t want to focus on unpleasantness on a day like this.
“I was shocked, Chicho,” Liza said.
“You need to admit that you preferred me single so I can attend to you and your love life. All the time.”
“Lucia.” Liza rarely used Chicho’s proper name. “I will admitno such thing. Look, I have been complaining about that boy since we were kids. You can’t expect me to fall out of my chair with excitement because he gets to marry my best friend. You’re the best of all of us! Why does he deserve you? What has he done?”
“For one, he’s going to give me a career and a respectable zip code, give my brother a stable home and an excellent school system, and put my father in rehab. For those of us without your body or your face—”
“Whoa, whoa, why am I suddenly a plastic Barbie when you want to make a point?”
“Or your brains, I was going to say—if you would have let me finish.” Chicho took in a slow breath.
“So now I’m astronaut Barbie and can’t possibly understand actually wanting a better life? All the waysmylife is fucked up is my fault because I won’t activate the cheat code?” Liza tried to keep her voice down. It was her best friend’s quickie wedding, and she should put on a cheerful face.
“Liza, I don’t need you to like my choices. But a little understanding would be nice. I’m not trying to find the perfect love. I’m trying to change the circumstances of my life. Do you see the difference? You assumed we agreed on that, and we never did.”
“Just know there is no shame in backing out. Call me if you ever feel in over your head.”
“Oh, I will. I still need your help with the podcasting stuff.”
Liza bit down on her tongue. “Why did you even take the job?” God, she didn’t want to do this here.
“Like DJing was your dream job, Liza? Like you wanted a podcast?Ay bendito, it’s six figures. And I can learn it just like you did.” Chicho fussed with Liza’s collar. “Okay, here comes the senator and Colin.”
“Senator De Berg, I’d like you to meet my lovelyesposa, Lucia Ochoa-Gruthers,” Colin announced loudly, then mumbled, “and her friend Liza.” Liza pulled her mouth upward in her best imitation of a smile. “Everyone, your state senator.” He wasn’t Liza’s state senator, but she didn’t press the point.
The senator nodded deeply and encircled Chicho’s hands with his large ones. “Excellent match! And a Latina too! This is great for the Thirty-Fifth District.” The senator kissed Chicho’s hand. “A real accessible beauty. Excellent. None of that beauty queen nonsense you were talking earlier.”
Liza rolled her eyes. Did Colin really think he could have pulled Janae Bennett?
“And you must be the woman we’ve all been hearing so much about.” The senator raised his eyebrow. His eyes traveled around Liza’s face and body as if he were a cat following a laser pointer. He smiled tightly. “Don’t see what all of the fuss is about, really.”
Liza straightened her shoulders.Attacks coming in on all sides, I see.
“Liza, stop by my offices and see some of the work we’re doing with affordable housing in Virginia. Some of the progress you’re protesting has transformed Alexandria,” the senator said.
“Oh, I agree, the city has transformed. Depends on how favorably you see those transformations,” Liza said.
“Higher tax revenues, full occupation of formally abandoned buildings? How can you see that transformation as anything other than favorable?”
