Page 105 of Lust & Lies
This version of me was currently falling apart. Her eyes were red and swollen. Voice shaky, and she looked like she was barely holding on by a thread.
“Everyone thinks he’s so perfect. I used to think so too,” I mumbled in my dream. “But he’s worse than they know, than you know. Way worse. I’ve never seen him like this before. He’s harsh. And mean. So mean. It’s disrespectful how mean he is,” I said. “He’s ashamed to be seen with me now. He doesn’t let me talk about us. I know he regrets being with me, and he’s trying to keep our relationship a secret. Whenever I call him hubby or husband, he loses his mind.”
Dream-Me stared up at the person she was talking to. Though I couldn’t see who that person was, Dream-Me was staring at them with pleading eyes, eyes that were begging for help. But help didn’t come. The person remained silent. Dream-Me wiped her eyes, but more tears fell.
“He doesn’t even like for me to call him Aiden now. He wants me to call him Mr. Park. What kind of sense does that make? Oh, and he didn’t come home last night. Again,” I screeched.
I stopped pacing, chest heaving like I was having a panic attack. My hands twitched at my sides as I stared at the other person in the room. I won’t lie, I looked crazy. I looked on the verge of losing my mind.
And it was all because of a man. This didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel possible. But I couldn’t keep denying what I was feeling and now what I was actually seeing.
“He won’t answer his phone when I call. But if I get Tristan to call for me, he answers, or at least sends a text. And when he finally does pick up for me, it’s always with a cold tone like I’m just someone he tolerates.”
I wiped my eyes before continuing.
“He doesn’t want me around his friends. Doesn’t even take me out. I asked him to go to dinner last week and he said he was too busy. Then I found out he went to some cigar lounge with that fake-ass Julian Cattaneo and stayed out till 3 a.m.”
A laugh slipped out of Dream-Me, a bitter shrill that filled the silence around me. This woman was me, but I didn’t recognize her or her life. I didn’t recognize the Aiden she was describing.
He was nothing like the man who kissed me, who cuddled me. Nothing like the man who hugged me and told me he loved me at least a dozen times a day. Nothing like the man whose stare could make me melt.
This Aiden sounded cruel. Cold. It sounded like his love had turned to loathing and left me grasping at the ghost of something that used to be beautiful. It seemed like we’d entered a rough patch, and I was the only one fighting for us.
Yet, I was losing myself to that fight while he was moving on from what we used to have. But this felt so damn wrong. I mean... this dream felt real, it felt like a memory. And I couldn’t deny that Dream-Me was hurting because of Aiden Park. Her pain was real.
However, if that was true, that meant everything he was currently showing me was a lie. Was there any truth to what he’d been telling me? Were we as happy and as in love as he claimed, or had that faded a long time ago?
Dream-Me wrapped her arms around herself and said, “You already knew that he was cheating on me, didn’t you? You should’ve told me. I know you hate me. But you still should’ve told me. I don’t deserve this. No one deserves this.”
That statement was like a dagger through my heart. And though I was asleep and lucid dreaming, I was pretty sure tears were streaming from the corners of my eyes.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
NOELLE
CHEATING? CHEATING! Oh, hell no. Even in my dream, the outrage I felt was real. The more Dream-Me talked, the angrier I got.
“I thought my love would be enough. I thought once we got rid of all the external noise, all the roadblocks in our lives, we would be happy. I was wrong. My love wasn’t enough.” Another laugh escaped me, this one uglier and crazier sounding than the last. “Turns out, I’m not even enough to make him come home at night.”
The other person in the room sighed. Dream-Me glared over at the person.
“You think this is funny, don’t you? Probably think this is what I deserve. All I wanted was to be happy. Was it so wrong for me to fight for my happiness? How was I supposed to know it would turn out like this? I deserve to be happy just like everyone else. But he refuses to do anything to make me happy. He doesn’t talk to me. Doesn’t smile at me. He doesn’t touch me. Hell, I don’t even think he sees me at all.”
I plopped down on the edge of the bed with my hands folded in my lap, feet tapping against the floor.
“You were right,” I said. “I never should’ve gotten involved with Aiden Park. I regret it,” I cried. “I regret it so much. I don’twant to live like this anymore. I don’t want to love Aiden Park anymore. I’m tired. I’m so damn tired.”
Tears spilled down my cheeks as I sobbed. But no one consoled me. No one told me it was going to be okay. There was no one there for me. Not even Aiden, the man who’d promised to always be there.
Was this the truth my husband was trying to hide from me behind his hugs and fake smiles? Was he trying to make up for the hurt he’d caused me in the past? Or was he trying to make me fall for him just so he could break me all over again?
I was pulled from the lucid dream by the feel of someone touching me. My eyes popped open, heart racing. The room was dim now, the soft sounds of a movie playing in the background, but I couldn’t make out a word the characters were saying.
What the hell awakened me? I turned over on the couch, and that’s when I came face-to-face with him.My husband. Mr. Park.Anger flared within me as I stared at the face of the man who was responsible for my nightmare.
No. For a nightmarishmemory. He was crouched beside me, one hand on my shoulder, the other brushing hair from my forehead like I was a child waking from a bad dream. But I wasn’t a child. I was a grown woman who was slowly realizing that nothing was as it seemed when it came to Aiden Park.
“You were whimpering in your sleep, love,” he murmured. “Were you having a nightmare?”
