Page 106 of Lust & Lies
Yes. And you were the cause.
He rubbed my arm, trying to soothe me. I pulled away from his touch, not wanting his hands on me. That worried crease returned to his brow.The one that made him look caring and loving.
The one that made me feel guilty for recoiling from his touch. The one that had fooled me too many times. I now saw it forwhat it was.An act. A façade.A way to make me believe in the illusion he’d created for me.
But as that worried look deepened, so did my doubt. Was it real or rehearsed? I couldn’t tell. Whatever it was, this man was good at it. And until I had all the pieces of my puzzle in place, I’d have to be good at it also. I’d have to be just as fake as he was.
“You okay?” he asked, voice gentle.Toogentle.
I nodded. “Yeah. It was just a dream.”
A dream that had felt more like a warning. Proof that I’d once played the fool for this man. If I wasn’t careful, history would end up repeating itself. Not happening. I wasn’t even sure how I’d allowed it to happen the first time.
There wasn’t that much love in the world to make me put up with the shit Dream-Me had put up with. I’d rather kill him than let him take me through some mess like that. A dark feeling settled over me at that thought.
I didn’t push it away. I let it wrap me in its chilling embrace, proof that my heart was turning cold against Aiden Park. He studied me, waiting for me to say more, probably tell him about my dream.
I remained silent. I had nothing to give this man. I mean, I literally had nothing to give. Not emotionally. Not physically. Not even spiritually. I was drained. Beyond exhausted.
“I’m sorry I was gone so long,” he told me. “The call ran longer than I expected. We were....” He paused. “We were finalizing...”
“Mmmm,” I hummed before he could even finish the sentence.
I was no longer trying to hear his bullshit. His mouth tugged into a frown. My eyes drifted past him to the window. The last rays of the sun had vanished. I hadn’t expected to nap that long.
“I should’ve been here sooner. I’m sorry, love. Do you want to talk about it?” he asked. “The nightmare?”
I looked at him fully for the first time since waking. I mean, really looked at him. This man did not look like a cheater. But looks could be deceiving. Still, how could the man who’d been taking care of me since I woke up in the hospital be the same man from my dreams?
It made no sense. Yet, this was him. He was the Aiden from my dreams. He had the same dark eyes. Same genuine-seeming concern etched into his expression. He had the same handsome features that often made me wonder if he was real or a figment of my imagination.
Same rideable lips that made me want to kiss him. The same strong arms that wrapped around me, making me feel safe. Everything about him was the same. Yet, nothing was the same. Not anymore. Not after that dream.
“Baby, you’re scaring me. Tell me what’s wrong. What did you dream about? Was it the movie that made you have a nightmare?”
“No,” I whispered.
It was you.
Clearing my throat, I told him, “I’m fine. I just need a minute.”
I moved into a sitting position, leaning away from him when he tried to help me. My gaze awkwardly moved around the room. I wanted to look anywhere but at him right now. Yet, he couldn’t take his eyes off me.
I could feel them on me, almost like a physical caress. I could sense them pleading with me to look his way. I blinked, swallowing the lump forming in my throat. I would not cry for this man again. I was all out of tears.
Finally, Aiden stood. I thought he was going to walk away and leave me alone in the garden room. Even though I wanted him away from me, the thought of him actually leaving almost made me panic.
But he didn’t leave. Instead, he reached down to brush his fingers lightly against my cheek. How could I crave a touch desperately but hate it so fucking much all at the same time?
“It’s late, beautiful. I ran your bath,” he said softly. “You ready to go upstairs?”
I blinked, caught off guard. He’d run my bath water for me. Had he already come in here, seen me asleep, and decided to run the bath for me so I could bathe before bed? See, this was what made me confused.
This was what brought doubt to my mind and weakened my resolve. How could this man that I loved deeply also be the man who’d hurt me in the past? Damn it, I needed my memory back. I was so tired of these bits and pieces that didn’t tell the whole story.
“You didn’t have to do that,” I whispered, feeling lost.
“It’s my honor to take care of you,” he told me.
