Page 30 of Lust & Lies
CHAPTER NINE
AIDEN
I STOOD OUTSIDE THEguest room with my palm pressed against the door, wishing I was on the other side of it...with her. My cock throbbed, a constant, punishing reminder of everything I couldn’t have. Not yet.
Fuck!
I wanted that woman so damn badly. Closing my eyes, I forced a slow breath through my nose, trying to bury the need clawing at me. She wasn’t ready. Not yet. Maybe not ever if her memory returned before I could make her fall in love with me again.
Her memory!
That was the biggest threat in the room. I hated how much I feared it coming back. Not just because it could ruin us before we had a chance to start again, but because it could hurt her. She deserved better than to relive the worst parts of our past, of her past.
Sighing, I stepped away from the door, even though every part of me screamed to go back inside, to pin her to that bed, bury my face between her thighs, and worship her the way she deserved to be worshipped.
But I wouldn’t. Couldn’t.
I forced myself down the hall and into the kitchen. A plate and bowl we’d used were shattered across the floor, as if thiswere a crime scene. That mess was on me. I’d lost control and damn near fucked her right there on the counter.
Only she could pull that type of response out of me. Grabbing the broom, I swept every jagged piece into a pile. The last thing I needed was for her to come in here barefoot and step on glass.
I made sure to get everything, even the fine pieces that were barely noticeable. I swept the pile of glass and food onto the dustpan and dumped it in the trash. Then I wet a few sheets of paper towels and wiped up the food stains.
My cock pulsed as I worked, begging me to drop everything and go back to her. I ignored it.No pain. No gain.Once the floor was spotless, I stashed the broom and dustpan, grabbed my keys, and stepped outside to get our luggage.
Walking with a hard-on wasn’t the most comfortable thing in the world. I could only blame myself for that. I shouldn’t have let it go that far. I knew better. I knew what the plan was. I thought I could handle being close to her without touching her. I was wrong.
In my defense, I’d only planned to kiss her.One kiss.That was it. My first mistake was thinking one kiss would be enough. My second mistake was challenging her. Her competitive ass could never resist a dare.
The second she touched methere... fuck! All my good intentions went up in smoke. Still, no matter how much we wanted each other physically, we couldn’t go there. She needed time. So did I.
Guilt threaded through me as I thought about why I needed time. My reason was much different than her reason. Dr. Mercer told me that with her condition, if the memories didn’t return in three to six months, they likely would never return in full.
The fact that she’d remembered something today had scared the hell out of me. Thankfully, it was only a memory of Ethan,not of me. There were certain memories of me that I hoped she’d never remember.
We’d been through those dark times once. Neither of us could survive going through them again. I opened the trunk, grabbed our bags, and hauled them back inside. There wasn't much. Not enough to get us through the few months I planned for us to stay here.
I’d have to order some stuff for both of us tomorrow. Maybe I’d bring the laptop into the living room so we could recline on the couch together while she chose the things she needed and wanted.
Smiling at that thought, I took the luggage up to the main room and set mine in my closet and hers inside hers. I turned to stare around the bedroom.Ourbedroom. A room I wouldn’t sleep in unless she asked me to.
I desperately hoped she’d ask me to. Even though I should say no if she did, I wouldn’t. Couldn’t. I wasn’t strong enough for that, despite knowing that sleeping next to her would make keeping up my pretense as the perfect gentleman hard as hell.
I was already struggling. I didn’t know how much longer I could keep my hands off her. Needing space to clear my head, I headed to my office, hoping burying myself in work would stop me from obsessing over how badly I wanted her.
Storming into my office, I slammed the door shut. Since the guest room was on the other side of the house, she couldn’t hear or see me having a breakdown. I settled at my desk, flipped open my laptop, and turned the device on.
My fingers hovered over the keyboard, but I didn’t type anything. I just stared at the screen and the blinking cursor. There were plenty of emails for me to respond to, calls I needed to return, documents to sign. I didn’t do any of that shit.
Instead, I reached for the security pad beside my laptop. I knew I should put it down. I knew I didn’t have any goodintentions. That didn’t stop me from turning it on and swiping through the icons until I landed onSmall Guest Room #1.
I clicked the three buttons at the corner of the icon so a drop-down box could appear. I resisted selecting live feed and clicked audio instead. I just wanted to listen in to find out whether my petty ass wife was doing what she’d said she would do or not.
Was she pleasuring herself? I turned the volume up to listen. Silence stretched. I smiled. She wasn’t doing it. She was still just as sexually frustrated as I was. I started to turn the audio off, but I heard something that wiped the grin from my face.
The softest moan filled the air. I turned the volume up more so I could hear her better. She was breathing harder now, faster. My cock pulsed when she released a ragged little gasp that coiled around me, damn near pulling me out of my seat and dragging me back to her.
She was really doing it. She was touching herself. She couldn’t remember her middle name, but she could remember how to finger herself. Why the fuck was I getting angry? Frustrated, I leaned back in my seat and ran my hand through my hair.
