Page 74 of Lust & Lies
“I’m sorry,” he said, reaching for my hands.
I pulled back, not wanting to touch him right now. I wasn’t crazy. I knew something had to be off around here. I just couldn’t figure out what it was. I ignored the look of disappointment that flitted across his face when I resisted his touch.
I refused to feel guilty. I knew my actions were sending us ten steps backward, but I couldn’t help it. Fuck the doctor's orders. I needed answers. Now! And I needed a husband who would put my feelings above any orders.
“I’m sorry,” he said again. “If I somehow offended you or made you uncomfortable, I’m sorry. If you feel like I’m ignoringyour feelings, I’m sorry. That has never been my intention. I’m trying to follow the doctor’s orders, but if it’s going to lead to me hurting you, then fuck it. Fuck him and his orders.”
Blinking back tears that threatened to fall, I stared at my husband. Was he really going to disregard the doctor’s orders to appease me?
“Fuck him?” I asked. “Fuck the doctor?”
Aiden nodded. “Fuck him. My wife comes first. And I can’t have you feeling like I’m keeping things from you on purpose. I want to follow his orders. I want you to remember on your own. But if there’s something bothering you, I can’t have that. Explain to me again what’s troubling you, and I swear we’ll figure it out together. No holding back.”
“You promise?” I asked, skeptical.
“I swear, my love.”
This time, when he reached for my hand, I didn’t pull away. Let’s see if he was truly a man of his word. And if he wasn’t, I just might flip this table over for real. I was starting to think I may have anger issues. Clearing my throat, I asked the questions I needed answers to right now.
“Why did I get the feeling that Dolores and Gertrude both were being extra protective of me and extra guarded around you? Sure, they were nice, even respectful to you. But it was like they were warning you not to hurt me or something.”
“They were. And I don’t mean that as a bullshit answer. They were, love. If I neglect you in any way, those two women will skin me alive. They were already upset after hearing about the car accident. They were also upset with me for not allowing them to visit you in the hospital. You were in a coma, Noe. The doctor didn’t want a lot of people in and out of your room. But Gertrude didn’t care. She cursed me out a few times because of that. Even threatened to turn me into fertilizer.”
A chuckle burst from me as I pictured her threatening him with that.
“Oh, that’s funny?” he asked. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”
“I am,” I assured him. “But Gertrude looks like one tough woman.”
“She is. Dolores too. And they love you. They’re protective of you. In time, you’ll remember them. You’ve known Gertrude far longer than Dolores. But they both treat you like you’re their family. And they both hate that I’m following the doctor's orders and not revealing your past to them. They’re not on board with how I’m doing things, but they’re trying not to let it show around you. They don’t want to stress you. But they have no problem yelling at me for following Dr. Mercer’s orders.”
“How do they even know about his orders?”
“Because I’ve kept them updated on your progress. And I told them what the doctor said, so they could also know not to reveal things to you before you’re ready. Baby, I admit, I’m a bit selfish and want to keep you to myself. I’m definitely guilty of being obsessed with you, even possessive of you. That’s who I am. That’s how I’ve always been about you. You’re mine, Noe. And I’m not fond of sharing you with others. I’m man enough to admit that.”
That admission should’ve raised red flags and warning bells within me. Instead, hearts were pulsing before my eyes.Obsessive? Possessive?Hell yes to both. Something was seriously wrong with me.
“My need to have you to myself is why I gave them time off. It’s why I brought us out to the country estate. At least this way, I know you’re safe and I know you’re following the doctor's orders. But if this is too much...”
“It’s not,” I told him.
“Huh?” he asked.
“It’s not too much, Aiden,” I whispered, mad that I let myself get so worked up again. “I’m sorry,” I apologized.
“Wait. What are you apologizing for? You have nothing to be sorry about, Noe.”
“I overreacted. Again.”
“There’s no such thing in this situation, love. React. Overreact. Yell at me. Check me. Point out when I’m making you feel neglected or when you're feeling like I’m not fully hearing what you’re trying to say. Let me know when I’m overstepping your boundaries. You have every right to question me when you feel like something is wrong. Yes, I want to follow the doctor’s orders, but not at the expense of my wife’s comfort, happiness, or tears. You felt something was off. You spoke up about it. That’s what you should do. And as your husband, I must listen to your concerns and explain things the best way I can. That’s my job, love. That’s me doing the bare minimum as a husband. So, you have nothing to apologize about.”
This man.More stupid tears came to my eyes. One of those bastards even had the nerve to race down my cheek. Releasing my hand, Aiden wiped the tear away.
“I’m sorry for making you cry,” he told me. “I never want to see you cry. I only want your smiles. I only want your happiness.”
“Thank you for being patient with me, especially when I begin to spiral. I can’t promise it won’t happen again.”
“Spiral if you have to. I’d gladly fall with you and pull us both out of the darkness.”
