Page 39 of Loud Hot Roomie
He squeezes his eye shut and then he sighs. “They almost saw us.”
“Who almost saw us? Topher and Eloise?” Now I’m confused as hell.
“No,” he grumbles. “My ex.”
“Is your ex stalking us?” My eyebrows fly to my hairline.
“What? No.” He huffs. “She lives across the pond and goes walking with her family or best friend a lot of evenings.”
I’ve seen people walking around the pond, but didn’t pay much attention to them. Apparently, I should have. His words are a punch to my chest. Come to think of it, he’s pulled me away from the window multiple times now, but it was usually more casually. Today it was rough and frantic. It’s because he’s hiding me from her? And she’s been living here this whole time?
“You forgot to mention your ex is one of our neighbors,” I say icily. “Literally of all the conversations we’ve had, it never came up once?”
Derek features turn stony, and he stiffens. “I didn’t think it was important.”
“For fucking real, Derek? I think it’s important. I told you all the embarrassing shit about my exes. Hell, I even told you which prison one of them is at. But you couldn’t tell me the woman youalmost had a baby with lives right fucking there.” I jab in the direction of the kitchen. “I feel lied to.”
He shakes his head and takes a step toward me. “I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad.”
I hold up a hand. “I’m not mad. I’m disappointed.” Great. Now I sound like my damn dad.
“How do I make it right?”
“You lied by omission. I need a minute.”
Of course Derek can’t let me go and follows me up the stairs. When I sit on my bed, he drops down beside me, one of his thick thighs rubbing against mine.
“I’m sorry,” he says again. “I thought maybe it would freak you out.”
I turn to look at him, hating how my stomach twists into a knot and tears threaten. “It does freak me out. I feel blindsided. Now it’s awkward. I’ll never be able to go in the backyard or walk around the pond.”
“No,” he rushes out, taking my hand in his. “I want you to feel good about living here. I’ll introduce you to her one day. She’s not a bad person.”
“If she’s not a bad person then why did you drag me out of the kitchen? Do you still have feelings for her?”
“What? No, Riko. No.”
I shudder at the oily feelings sliding through my veins. “Are you ashamed of me?”
Silence.
Pain lances through my chest.
“I’m not ashamed,” he mumbles, though it sounds like a lie. “I just don’t know how to reveal this part of myself to her and the world.”
“So we’re tiptoeing around everyone else’s feelings?” I choke out. “Got it. I’ll keep a lid on mine then since they’re unimportant.”
“Riko,” Derek hisses, trying to hold onto my hand as I stand.
“I get it,” I blurt. “I’m your dirty little secret. I think I’ll shower now. You should clean up the kitchen.”
He clutches his chest as if my words physically hurt him. Well, his hurt me too. I guess we’re even.
“Please…”
I stop him with a shake of my head. “I said I’m showering. Go, Derek.” Then, because I’m feeling bitter, I say, “Don’t worry. I’ll hide away up here so no one finds out you’re fucking your roommate.”
Even though I’m pissed and about to fucking cry like a little kid, I keep the ring on. I sure hope he was telling the truth about his promise. To love me even when shit gets rough.
