Page 40 of Loud Hot Roomie
That time is now.
It’s time to put his money where his mouth is.
Derek
Ifucked up.
Bad.
And it kills me.
As much as I hated the words that came out of his mouth, they were absolute truth. He’s right. I’ve been hiding him. From Casey, from Reid, from everyone. In my head, we were a separate island together. It was exhilarating and beautiful and private.
Not realistic, though.
Completely unfair.
In a way, I’ve treated him worse by hiding him than those men who took actual advantage of him when he was younger. I’m a selfish prick.
I think I’m going to be sick.
After racing through cleaning the kitchen, I make my way back up the stairs, strip down to my boxers, and lie down in my bed. My heart aches and my brain hurts. I only thought I wanted to feel. This shit sucks.
I’m trying to give Riko the space he requested before he went to shower, but it’s difficult. I want to beg for him to forgive me and for us to go back to how we were before I pulled out the rubber rings making promises that no doubt must’ve felt empty to him. Something shifted after that and it’s been a shitshow ever since.
I wait for what feels like hours and then I hear his soft footsteps on the carpet in my room. My heart hammers in mychest and a breath of relief rushes out of me when he climbs into bed. When I grab him and pull him to me, he goes willingly. We cling to each other. It’s quiet and tense. But holding him is something and I’m grateful for it.
“I want to introduce you to my parents,” I say, voice soft and trembling. “Let’s go one day this week. And maybe after we can go to the bakery and get some cookies.”
“No fair,” he grumbles. “You’re trying to get me back in your good graces with snickerdoodle goodness.”
“I’m desperate,” I admit with a chuckle. “Anything to make things right with you.”
He sighs heavily. “I know you feel bad. It’s not fair for me to make you suffer any longer.”
“I deserve it.”
“No,” he whispers, “you don’t. This is new for the both of us. I feel like we’re going to fuck things up here and there. I’m really good at fucking shit up.”
“Apparently so am I. Guess we make a good couple.”
He pulls back slightly and studies me. I kiss the tip of his nose.
“We’re a couple now?” he says, smiling. “Not just fuckbuddies?”
I cup his cheek. “We were never just fuckbuddies.”
“You always say the right things to make me forgive you.”
“I’m learning.”
His teasing smile eases the ache in my soul. “There’s something you still owe me. It’s deserved after tonight.”
“Dessert?”
“Hell yeah. Get to eating, Dere-Dere.”
It only takes a few minutes with my tongue inside his ass for him to fully forgive me.
