Page 42 of Loud Hot Roomie
“How do you two know each other?” I manage to grit out, anxiety clawing at me.
“She’s my sadistic physical therapist.” He frowns at me. “Is she your—”
“My ex-fiancé is the same guy you’ve been crushing over?” Casey asks Riko, pain making her voice crack. “What is happening right now?”
Everyone stares at me as if I’ve someone concocted this elaborate scheme to upset them all.
I can explain.
But what am I explaining? I didn’t do anything wrong.
“He’s my…” I start to say but my throat goes dry. “He’s my…”
Say it. Just fucking say it.
“Your roommate?” Casey supplies. “Yeah, he just said that.”
Riko’s eyebrows pinch when I don’t correct her right away. I feel like a total dick.
“Yes, I mean no.” I start nervously popping my knuckles. “Riko, the chicken nuggets are ready.”
Way to go, asshole. Good one.
It’s then I notice Riko twisting the rubber ring around his finger. His eyes are burning with hurt, gutting me. Do I fix it? Do I set the record straight? No, I stand here like a dumbass, unable to form words.
“You heard my boyfriend,” Riko says softly to Casey. “The chicken nuggets are ready. I’ll let you all catch up.”
Ah, fuck.
I was going to say it.
She whirls around to face me, betrayal shining in her eyes. “You’re gay?”
“What?” I grit out, grimacing at how loud she says it. “I’m not, no.”
Riko is within earshot, on his way back to our unit, and mutters, “Bisexual and clearly in denial.”
I start to go after him, but Casey blocks me, arms crossing over her chest. “How could you keep this from me? We were together for years, Derek. Not once you thought to mention it? Is this why you were always so cold to me? Because you were living a lie?”
Riko disappears through the back door of our place, but I continue to stare at where I last saw him.
“I just found out, okay?” I say curtly, turning my head to look at her again. Clara has started walking off with the stroller to give us our privacy. “I’m sorry.”
That’s all I am. Fucking sorry. To Riko, to Casey, to everyone.
“He’s my patient,” she hisses as if I somehow did this to piss in her Cheerios. “And he’s so young!”
This boils my blood. “Says the woman fucking our landlord’s son. Don’t be a hypocrite, Casey. It’s beneath you.”
She scowls but I know I hit her where it hurts. It has nothing to do with Riko’s age. “You’re not good for him. You’ll hurt him. He’s too fragile. You don’t understand.”
I shake my head in vehemence. “That’s where you’re wrong. I know him a helluva lot better than you do. He’s my boyfriend. I fucking love him!”
This has her widening her eyes and retreating back a step. I feel like a dick for yelling at her. Can the baby in her womb hear? Is it scared?
“You do love him,” she says, tears forming in her eyes. “I’ve never seen such emotion from you, not even after we lost our baby.”
“I’m sorry,” I mutter, voice thick with the pain of the loss. “I’m sorry I hurt you. It was never my intention.” I jab a finger toward my house. “And I keep accidentally hurting him too. I need to go to him and let him know I fucked up. Again. All I want to do is make him happy and I keep ruining it.”
