Page 23 of Joker
It shocks me more that he had taken the time to care for me. Usually, it was Agnes who had cleaned me up.
Making my way to the bathroom, I do my business which is uncomfortable, to say the least. I make a hot drink with the mini kitchen in my room and a snack. Curling up in the chair by the window, I watch the last of the sun go down. Flicking the lamp on, I think about Beau and what he is doing now.
Is he thinking of me? Are we looking at the same sky?
“Love you to the moon and back, baby boy,” I whisper as a tear escapes down my cheek.
I really hope he’s safe. I’m aware of the shock it would be for Jason to learn he has a son. I just hope I still know him as well as I used to, and he takes Beau in with open arms. I hope he looks after and accepts Agnes too. She’s been the mom I always wished I had. She was trapped here just as I was, but he had allowed her some freedom thinking she would never leave him. He was wrong, and she was just waiting for the right time. He really thought he had broken her enough that she wouldn’t go against him. What a joke! Women are devious by nature. We plot and plan before we have our revenge. It will be when you least expect it. You see, women are stronger than men give them credit for. We’re no longer the weaker sex that needs to be saved by a white knight like all the fairy tales. I want a dark knight who would sweep me off my feet and stand beside me while we fight our demons together.
Now that’s a fairy tale!
The door to my room opens, and he walks in. God, what does he have planned for me now? He takes my hand and pulls me up from the chair and leads me over to the bed.
“I trust you feel rested, and your back is not too painful, my pet.”
He’s never asked me this before. He’s never cared before about my health.
“Not too painful,” I confirm.
He pulls the cord of my robe, releasing it and pushing it over my shoulders, so it pools around my feet. He’s trailing his fingers down my arms and along my shoulders. Turning me so my back is to him, he gently traces his fingers over the marks on my back, causing a hiss to escape my lips. He then slowly and softly kisses each mark on my back. I hold myself as still as possible. His gentleness is freaking me out more than anything he’s ever done. His finger glides along my sides and slowly moves to run along the underside of my breasts. Turning me to the side to face him, he lowers his head and lightly licks my nipple while his other hand finds my other breast, and he rolls my nipple between his fingers. “Lie down, my pet.”
Doing as he says, I lie down on the bed. He climbs in next to me and continues to shower my breasts with attention.
“You’re so beautiful, pet. You’re even more beautiful than when you broke for me.”
He kisses my nipples before slowly kissing further down. He stops just as he gets to my pelvis. His hand slides down between my legs and slowly enters me.
“You’re so wet for me, my pet. I love how much you enjoy the pleasure I give you.”
He’s delusional. I know this is my body’s natural response and has nothing to do with me enjoying anything. His hands on me make my stomach turn, and it’s taking everything in me not to be sick on him. He moves off the bed and takes his trousers off. Joining me back on the bed, he moves between my legs and slowly pushes into me.
This whole thing feels like sensual lovemaking. I know better. He’s not capable of love. He’s a monster, pure evil. Love is something he has no idea about. He can’t love. Otherwise, how could he do the things he does.
Once he’s finished, he curls himself around me as if we’re some couple and kisses my shoulder. “You have pleased me greatly, my pet.”
After a few minutes of lying here, he gets up and dresses. With one last look at me and a smile on his face, he leaves me in peace.
Getting up, I head for the shower as I want to remove all traces of him from me. I scrub my skin until it’s raw. I still feel dirty. I think a part of me will always feel dirty when it comes to the things he’s done to me. But it does not define who I am. I’m not a victim, and he’ll not affect my life. One day I’d be free, and he wouldn’t be.
Crawling back into bed after I’ve changed the sheets, I curl up into a ball and dream of the life I wish I had with Beau.
CHAPTERTEN
JOKER
It’s been over a week since Beau came to the compound, and every day, he seems more and more comfortable with everyone. The guys love him and are always having him do impressions to entertain them. He’s mine and Tank’s little mascot, following us around. He’s spending time in the garage and struck up a friendship with Wrench.
Wrench even bought him his own mini tool kit to keep at the garage and a pair of coveralls with his name on them. The first time he wore them, he even wore them to bed. He loves them so much. He’s a great kid, and I’ve loved getting to know him. Spending time with him has kept me calm while Wire and Webbie have been looking for Carrie.
Beau asks about his mom all the time, and I’ve promised him we’re doing everything we can to bring her home to him. His favorite bedtime stories are when he has Tank and me telling him tales from when we were kids and what we had all got up to.
He’s met Johnny and loves him. Johnny spends a lot of time playing with him. Reck bought him a replica Harley similar to my own. His eyes lit up when he gave it to him. He insisted we go for a ride together, so we rode around the compound. Beau riding his little electric bike and me on the real thing. Pip managed to snap a photo of us both which she had framed, and it is sitting on his nightstand. I have the same photo on mine too, next to the photo I have of Carrie and me.
Agnes seems to be settling in well. She’s taken to cooking and cleaning for everyone, a little like a house mother as she’s living at the compound. BJ gave her a room at the back, away from the noise. Pip also seems to have struck up a friendship with her, and the two are always found somewhere together. Agnes also seems to be getting close to Reck. I’ve noticed them spending time together.
I’m currently in the family room with Beau, and we’re watching a Disney movie. We’ve been trying loads of different cartoons and kids’ movies to see what he likes.Jungle Bookis a favorite of his, and he sings along to the songs.Charlie and The Chocolate Factoryis also a favorite, but what kid wouldn’t love all that candy and chocolate?
Pip joins us to watch the movie, bringing popcorn with her.
