Page 39 of Joker
“I just want this over with, please,” I beg.
Giving me another of her soft smiles, she does exactly what she said she would, and it’s over quicker than I thought it would be.
“I’ll let you know as soon as I have the results for you. Do you have any questions?”
Feeling a little nervous to ask, but I need to know.
“Am I okay . . . down there? Does anything look like it shouldn’t?”
God, I sound pathetic.
“You’re fine Carrie, everything is as it should be,” she reassures.
At her words, I release the breath I didn’t realize I was holding.
“Thank you,” I say as the tears start to come again.
“You’re welcome, Carrie, now you get some more rest and call me anytime,” Dr. Helen says.
Leaving me with her card and my thoughts, Dr. Helen quietly leaves the room.
Turning over, I stare at the wall. Feeling a little dirty, I make sure the bedroom door is locked and head for the shower.
Painfully undressing while the water warms up, I check that the towel on the rail is clean and walk under the hot spray. I let the water run over me and wash all my thoughts away. Grabbing the body wash, it smells woody and manly, but at this point, I’m past caring. Once I’m washed clean, I stay under the water, letting the warm feeling seep into my bones, making me human again. Once the water starts to run cold, I get out. Wrapped in the towel, I go on a hunt for some clothes. Finding only men’s clothes, I steal a t-shirt and a pair of boxers.
Sitting back on the bed, I’m not sure what to do next.
Hearing laughter from outside, I go to the window. A massive playset has been set up, and Beau is running riot around it, with a couple of the brothers chasing and playing with him. His laugh and smile warming my heart. Tearing up again, I give myself a mental slap. I need to pull myself together. I can’t keep crying all the time. But seeing Beau so free and happy is a miracle. Clearly, being here with his dad has been the right thing. Watching Jason join Beau in the mini playground, He’s such a good Dad. My heart hurts from all the time they had missed out on. Jason looks up and sees me watching.
I move away from the window, checking the door is still locked. I crawl back into bed. I’m not ready to face them.
CHAPTERFOURTEEN
JOKER
Seeing Carrie standing at the window watching us with tears falling down her face is too much. I tell Beau I’ll be back in a minute, and I make my way back inside to my room, where Carrie is staying. Standing outside the door, I’m not sure whether to knock or just walk in. The way she reacted when she realized we had all seen the videos was heartbreaking. She was so upset. I just wanted to comfort her, but that seemed to be doing more damage. Hanging my head forward, I lean it against the door.
Looking down, I notice a pair of boots come into view.
“Give her time, son. She’ll work it all out.”
I knew Doc wouldn’t be far from her.
“She needs to be checked out, Doc. We need to help her,” I say as my voice cracks. I had finally got her back, but I feel like I’m losing her again.
“Already had a female doctor friend of mine visit her. It’s all been taken care of, son,” replies Doc.
Looking up at him, he has a sad smile.
“Is she okay?” I stammer out. Fuck I couldn’t cope if anything is wrong with her.
“Said everything looked good, and she should have the test results as soon as possible.”
Okay, so a few days and we would know what we’re dealing with, if anything. Okay, so just need to keep busy. Stop my mind from wandering and no googling stuff, or I’d be a nervous wreck in the corner thinking she has all sorts of things.
“Get out of your head Joker. She’ll be fine.” Jesus, where did Wolf come from? For a big fella, he sure moves silently.
“Thanks, Wolf,” I say.
