Page 16 of Joker
I hold her a little tighter. “I love you too. You’ve been the mom I always wanted.”
Moving toward the bags, she gets ready to leave.
“Be a good boy Beau and remember how much I love you.”
My words falter as I try not to cry. This is killing me. The pain I feel inside my chest as I watch them leave is unbearable. Part of me knows this is for the best, and I need to do whatever it takes to keep him safe. He’s all I have left in the world, and I will keep him safe. I know Jason and the club would look after him. The room suddenly feels so big and cold, so I curl up into a ball as my tears start to fall. This is the only time I’ll allow myself to break. He’ll never get this from me.
CHAPTEREIGHT
JOKER
No one has ever accused me of being patient. I’m restless and can’t keep still. Tank takes pity on me, and we spar in the club’s gym at the clubhouse. I need something to distract me from going off the deep end. All I can think about is that torture room we found and praying to God my girl has not been anywhere near that room. I need to keep my mind from going to these dark places.
Waiting for Wire to come up with more information is excruciatingly painful, and it is taking all of my willpower not to go off on my own. I know I need my brothers help to find her and get her home safely, but that doesn’t mean my heart is listening. I need to think about this all logically and not go off half-cocked, only to get myself killed. I’m no good to anyone if I’m dead.
Getting my head back in the game, I continue to work the bag. I’m taking all of my frustration out with every punch. Hearing the gym door open, BJ makes his way over to me.
“How’re you doing, son?” he asks as he grabs a chair.
Stopping my pace, I grab the bag and rest my head against it while I catch my breath to form words. I can feel the sweat pouring off me and how heavy my arms feel. I must have really been lost in my head.
“Don’t get lost in your head,” BJ confirms after a few moments of silence. It’s as if he can read my thoughts.
“I’m trying Prez, it’s harder than you think not to go there. You saw that room,” I say, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath.
With a deep sigh and slap on my shoulder, he replies, “I know, kid, but keep it contained. We will get her back.”
Just as he’s about to leave the room, a prospect comes through the door.
“Prez, do we have anyone called Jason here? There is a woman at the gate with a kid asking for him.”
Turning to Prez, I raise my eyebrow puzzled.
“Get cleaned up, and I’ll see what’s happening.” Prez leaves with the prospect.
Quickly heading to the locker room, I jump in the shower, making fast work of sorting myself out. I’m the only Jason at this clubhouse. None of the other brothers or prospects is called Jason that I know of. So, this woman must be someone who either knew me as a kid or knows someone who knew me as a kid. Otherwise, they would know my road name.
Making my way outside, I can see no one at the gate, so I head into the clubhouse. Seeing the prospect from the gate, I nod to him
“Prez is in church, said to send you in.”
Nodding my thanks, I head for church. Stopping at the doors, I take a deep breath and try to calm my heart that feels like it’s beating so fast it could leap from my chest at any moment. I have a feeling that whatever is on the other side of the door is going to be life changing. Taking another deep breath, I knock on the door.
“Come in,” Prez shouts.
I push the door open and walk in.
Prez is sitting at the head of the table, and turning to his left, I notice a woman sitting there.
“You, I’ve seen you near the compound recently.”
She slowly nods her head. I knew I wasn’t going crazy and seeing things. It’s then I notice a boy sitting next to her, and the bottom drops out of my world. He’s the spitting image of me.
My eyes find Prez, and he nods. Well, fuck! I grab a chair and slowly lower myself into it. I can’t take my eyes off of the boy. His face is turned down a little, and his eyes don’t meet mine. Taking another breath, I look at the woman
“What’s going on?” Stupidest question I could ask.
I actually want to smack myself in the head. I just don’t want to say it out loud. My eyes drift back to the boy, and he finally looks at me. Connecting with his eyes, all the breath leaves my body, and one word falls from my lips, “Carrie!”
