Page 48 of Joker
“I just wanted to talk about earlier,” I say.
“I’m sorry I ran. I couldn’t take the look of horror on your face,” she says with her head down. Placing my fingers under her chin, I gently lift her face to look at me.
“Don’t hide from me, Carrie. I’ll never hurt you. I promise. I was horrified that my behavior had caused you fear. That had nothing to do with anything you had done. I’m so fucking sorry. I should have listened to you, and I should have asked you what you needed and wanted.”
She looks shocked.
“Thank you for understanding.” Her voice is so small, but you see her body start to relax after my apology.
“I only had yours and Beau’s best interests at heart. I wasn’t thinking. I’ll try to be better. I can’t promise I won’t put my foot in it again, but I’ll make an effort not to.”
That gets a little chuckle out of her and a soft smile.
“Thank you, Jason,” she whispers.
My heart beats a little faster when she says my real name. Baby steps, we just need to take things slowly.
“How is everything going with the counseling?” I ask.
“It’s going great. Dr. Wood is amazing. She’s really patient and is making me see how I can move forward. It’s never going to go away. I’ll always have the memories, but I’m learning to live with them,” she explains.
Nodding, I’m happy she’s learning to cope.
“If the scars bother you, see Sketch. He’s a brother and also a tattoo artist. He runs Havoc Ink. I’m sure he can come up with a design to turn them into something positive and beautiful,” I tell her.
Looking over at her, she has tears running down her face.
“Carrie, I’m sorry. What did I do?” I’m frantic, I’ve upset her again.
“I’m sorry, you didn’t do anything. I just love the idea of making something horrible into something beautiful. I’m not sure I’m ready to be undressed near another man yet, but I’ll definitely think about it,” she says with a little more hope in her eyes that wasn’t there before.
Relief flows through me. Thank God, I haven’t upset her again so soon.
“Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be happy to go with you if that will make you feel more comfortable,” I ask.
Seconds after saying that, she moves to hug me. Having her in my arms again is heaven. I know in that minute I’ll wait for the rest of my life for her to be ready, and I’ll do all in my power to prove to her that I’m the right man for her.
Holding her close for a little longer, I kiss her head and pull away.
“I’ll leave you to get sorted after your bath,” I say softly.
I get up and head to the door.
“Jason?”
I stop in my tracks and turn to face her.
“Thank you,” she says.
Nodding, as I’m not sure I can find words right now, I head for the room I’m staying in. At least this day ended better than it started.
Over the next few days, we work tirelessly on finishing the house, and we go shopping for furniture. Carrie loves the house and that makes me happy. When we were younger, we would dream of what our future would be like, and I remember all the little things Carrie had said she wanted for her dream house. They are all in the house we’ve built. I’m not sure she remembers mentioning them as she’s not said anything, but hopefully, once she and Beau have moved in, she’d start to notice.
Moving in day comes fast, and Beau loves having his own space. His bike that his Gramps and Grandpop got him, which matches mine, sits next to mine in the driveway. He had rode next to me from the clubhouse to the house. When Carrie saw us, she’d laughed and took a few photos. His little electric version is freaking ace, and the guys all gave him a cut too. It says future prospect on it. The kid looks like a mini version of me in his jeans, black boots, t-shirt, and cut, and I couldn’t be prouder. He’s definitely going to be a handful as he grows up.
I’m sitting on the back deck with a beer, relaxing a little after moving everything in. Carrie has everything in the right rooms, and now it’s just a case of putting it all where she wants it. Carrie comes to join me with her own beer.
“That’s enough for one day. I’m looking forward to a bath in that amazing bathroom and then a good night’s sleep in my new bed,” she says as she settles into the chair next to me. She looks happier now she’s got her own space.
