Page 3 of Carrie's Strength
“But we’re now getting to the dark bits, before it’s like we’ve skimmed over it, not really examined what happened, not only to me, but to Beau too. I don’t think I can go into detail,” I confess.
“Babydoll,” he says, holding me closer, “she’s a good therapist and has been good for you so far. She won’t give you more than you can take. If you feel like it’s too much, just tell her,” he assures me.
“I know I’m being silly. But I can’t help it. Part of me still feels guilty,” I confess
Jason pulls away from me so he can look at my face.
“What do you have to feel guilty for?” he asks, confusion in his voice.
“I should have protected Beau more. I should have got Agnes to bring him to you long before I did. He could have been with you for years, and you wouldn’t have missed out on so much,” I say as a tear runs down my cheek.
“Fuck, babydoll. No, you did the best you could with the situation you found yourself in. Beau is fine, and we’re together now. You can’t live in the past, babe. We have to move forward with our lives. Otherwise, he wins,” he says, holding me tight against him.
“I know, but sometimes when I watch you with Beau, the pain that you both missed out on so much time together hits me in the chest,” I say as more tears fall.
“I think you really need to bring this up with Dr. Wood. Explain that this is how you feel,” he advises.
“I will, babe. Can I ask you something?” I say.
“Carrie, you can ask me anything,” he says with all seriousness.
“Will you come with me to the appointment, knowing you’re outside waiting for me and close if I need you would help?” I say, hoping he can.
“Babydoll, I will always be there when you need me,” he says, kissing my head.
Snuggling back into him, I start to drift off again.
Waking a short time later, I find the bed empty. Getting up and slipping some pajamas on and grabbing my robe, I make my way downstairs, following the noise and laughter.
Entering the kitchen, I find Jason cooking breakfast while Beau and Tank are sitting at the island playing some card game. I lean against the wall and watch them all together, my family. Jason has taken to being a father like it’s the most natural thing in the world. The bond he now has with Beau is beautiful to watch. They are so alike; Beau is such a carbon copy of his dad. The brothers even got Beau his own kutte with prospect in training and next-gen patches. He wore it to bed that night, and we had a full fight the next morning to get him to take it off so he could go to school. I had to promise it would be in the car waiting for him when I picked him up.
His relationship with Tank has also blossomed. Tank is an amazing Uncle, but he is also that annoying Uncle who buys him the presents you said no to. You know the ones, loud, messy, and completely inappropriate. But it is so worth it to see how close all three of them are. Beau has even started copying certain habits from both Jason and Tank. The three of them do all sorts of things together like we did as kids.
Beau notices me standing just inside the doorway.
“Momma look, Uncle Tank bought me Top Trumps and a new helmet for my bike. It’s way cool,” he shouts as he jumps off the stool, running into the living room.
Rolling my eyes, I make my way over to Jason, slipping my arms around his waist and kissing his shoulder.
Lifting his arm so I can duck under, I kiss his nipple.
“Cheeky,” he grins.
“Something smells good,” I say with a grin.
“Making you pancakes, babydoll,” he replies
Oh my God, Jason’s pancakes are amazing.
“Go sit down, and I’ll bring them over,” he says.
Making my way back over to the island, I grab a cup and make myself tea while he finishes my breakfast.
I’m just taking the first delicious mouthful of pancake when Beau comes stomping down the stairs all dressed in dark jeans, a black t-shirt, and his kutte. Fuck, he looks like a mini version of Jason.
Laughing around my mouthful as the helmet is still on his head.
“He take that off at any point?” I ask
