Page 47 of Accidental Fire
Pink Garter Theater, Jackson Hole
“When are we gonna fuck?” Riv was in the passenger seat with his guitar, working on the melody for the song Goldie and he were writing together.
“We’ve been having a lot of sex, sweetheart. Do you…? Do you not like what we’re doing? I don’t think I can bottom, and you’ve only ever topped, but I enjoy what we’re doing now. Are you unhappy about what we’ve done?” I asked as I downshifted to take the exit off I-15 into Jackson Hole.
River picked out the beginning of an old Color Me Bad song that I recognized.
I laughed. “Is this gonna be an issue for us? I don’t expect you to give me your ass, and I don’t know if I can give you mine. There’s enough other stuff we can do to satisfy each other, don’t you think? I love when you suck my dick,” I responded.
“Oh, so you see me as the girl in this relationship. I suck your dick, and you don’t—”
I pulled the truck over onto the shoulder, and when Clancy sped past me, I didn’t answer the phone when he called to ask what the hell was going on.
“Wait, sweetheart. What’s wrong?”
“Do you see me as a girl in your mind when you kiss me or have me suck your cock? I’m not a girl, Kit. I’m a man who loves you, but if you’re pretending I don’t have a dick, then we need to part ways right now.”
I had no idea what to say, so when we arrived at the venue, River got out of the cab, taking his six-string with him without looking back. Obviously, I’d said something very, very wrong.
Treefort Music Hall, Boise
River rode on the bus with the band when we left Wyoming. We hadn’t talked—him avoiding me and pushing Goldie to talk to me instead. I was an idiot. I was doing everything wrong, and I didn’t know how to fix it.
I drove into the parking lot of Treefort Music Hall, which had a capacity of about a thousand people. Clancy pulled the bus next to me, and I got out of the cab and walked around to the back of the truck to open the doors and pull down the ramp for the guys to unload the equipment.
When the band stepped out of the bus, I noticed that River didn’t get off. That wasn’t good.
I headed over to Clancy, who was leaning against the front of the bus. “Hey, man. How was the drive?”
“Quiet. What did you do to River?”
What was I gonna say? I wouldn’t suck his dick because I was too scared I wouldn’t do a good job? And why didn’t I suck his dick? I wanted him to feel as good as he made me feel, but I was still unsure of how I felt about the changes I was experiencing, and River knew it.
“Nothing, really. We’re just having a disagreement, but we’ll be fine.” I didn’t think we’d be fine at all.
Clancy smirked. “If you think you’re gonna be fine, you’re a fool, Hansen. There’s something between you and River, and you’re on the verge of fucking it up. I’ve fucked up good things over my life, and the regret is hard to swallow.”
“What should I do?”
River stepped off the bus, glancing over to where I stood before he went into the venue, not giving me a second glance. My heart was pounding as it started to break. Surely, River wouldn’t walk away, would he?
“I think you’d better drop to your knees and beg for forgiveness. If you love him, you’d better figure it out and make sure you two are right. Have you seen the press on the band? They’re eating up how handsome these guys are, and if you don’t make sure things are good between you, there will be a line around the building of people wanting his attention.” Clancy gave me a wink to make his point.
“Press? You mean, like reviews of the shows?” I hadn’t been paying attention to anything except River.
Clancy grabbed his phone, and after fucking around for a minute, he showed me a headline from an entertainment website in Denver for the Fourth of July Festival show that was very favorable of the band’s performance.
I read the article and smiled at some of the comments. One read:This band is exactly what I needed.
“Did anyone show this to the guys?” I memorized the website before I handed back his phone.
“Not that I know of. Kensington was responsible for that stuff. I guess that falls into your purview now, right?” Clancy pulled a half-smoked cigar from the pocket of his T-shirt and lit it up.
“Yeah, I suppose it does. Thanks.” I walked toward the Treefort, not sure what kind of reception I’d get when I went inside.
Chapter Eighteen
River
