Page 112 of Taste of Blood
“And for you?”
He doesn’t answer for several minutes, during which I hold my breath. Waiting.
The world plays on. The old clock on his wall ticks away the minutes. The traffic outside his window continues to rumble past. A door somewhere in the building opens and closes.
I realize during his silence that he hasn’t told me how he feels. That I’ve been the one pledging my love. My loyalty. My desire.
For his part, he’s remained uncommitted.
The old doubt creeps back in, and I have all I can do not to succumb to it. To run away and hide. His rejection is the only thing in this world I fear.
His hand closes around mine and brings it to his lips. A flicker of emotion darkens his eyes, and something of the old Cord flares up. The one I knew from my youth. The one who slayed dragons for me and promised to lay the world at my feet.
That’s the Cord I want. The Cord I need. The Cord I risked everything for when I went to his cell to reveal my feelings. The Cord I would gladly trade my life for.
“The same,” he says finally.
I exhale and squeeze my eyes shut against the well of feelings those two words inspire. Just one moment to savor the taste of his confession. It’s balm to my starving soul.
When I open my eyes, his smile greets me. This time it’s me who initiates the contact when our lips meet. There’s a wanton craving in the kiss now, a feverish need to merge. To own.
To devour.
I close my arms around him, my hands dragging down his back, to his waist, slipping under his shirt to feel the warmth of his skin. He’s like a drug I can’t get enough of.
“We should talk,” he says, halting my assault.
I look up at him. He’s serious. He wants to talk now?
“What do you want to talk about?”
“This. Us.”
He pulls away from me and crosses to the couch, lowering himself and patting the seat next to him. After I sit, he swallows a deep breath and reaches for my hand.
“Ever since we…reconnected on the street that night, it’s been a series of desperate hookups every time we see each other.”
I smile wryly. “That’s kind of always been our dynamic.”
“Yeah, I know, but I want–I need–more than that. You can tell me how you feel, but unless I actually experience it, it’s only words.”
“And you think talking will help?”
“Don’t you?”
Yes. We lost ten years of time together. I want to know what he was doing, where he went, what he felt during that time.
“What do you want to know?” I ask him. “I have no secrets from you.”
“Let’s start small. Have your priorities changed since we split up?”
I know where he’s going with this. He told me as much that day right here in this room. He thinks I put my business first, and maybe to him it looked like that. Hell, maybe it even was a little bit of that, if I’m being honest. I was driven to succeed, but not at the cost of our relationship. If he had told me…
No. If I hadlistened, I would have walked away from it immediately. I never put two and two together until it was too late. By the time I realized my mistake, he was gone and I had no way to bring him back.
I don’t want my life to be a series of regrets. And losing him would be the biggest.
“It’s funny you should bring that up right now. I’ve recently been thinking about letting someone else take over my business.”
