Page 113 of Taste of Blood
“Really?”
“Yeah. All this stuff with the Python made me realize I’m vulnerable by being in the public eye. Plus, I don’t want to spend all my time worrying about the next deal or growing my portfolio. There are more important things in life.”
“Like what?”
“Like you, for starters.”
I squeeze his hand. “When I look at my life objectively, the only thing that matters is you. I can lose everything else and it won’t mean a thing. But you…you’re my everything.”
He doesn’t speak for several minutes, though his eyes reflect a world of emotions. Finally he takes a deep breath and exhales, like he’s come to a conclusion.
“I know I threw all the blame on you, but that wasn’t fair. I have my share of guilt. I’m…well, you know I’m something of a hothead. I like conflict. I like the fight. It’s something wired wrong in me, but I’m too old to change it now.”
I start to comment and he holds up his hand to stop me. “Let me finish. Please. When I first came to the city, Dante offered methe chance to do everything I wanted to do. I got to get my hands dirty without consequences, and I even got paid for it. For a kid who grew up fighting his way through first a drug addict mother, then the foster care system, juvie, and a group home, it was like I suddenly counted.
“I always knew how you felt about my fighting, despite the fact that you got yourself in trouble defending me. Hell, you even got thrown in a halfway house because of me. If it hadn’t been for me, you might have accomplished everything you have without the help of the Clan. I brought you into this life, and then I abandoned you. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t feel guilty for that. And I guess I took that guilt out on you.
“The truth is, I’ve been reconsidering my own choices lately. Beating up scumbags at the beck and call of a sadistic monster, regardless of the money, has kind of lost its shine for me.”
“Are you thinking about leaving the Guild?”
“Wouldn’t be the worst thing that happened. I mean, I can’t do anything right now, with this Python thing hanging over our heads, but later, when it’s over, I’m seriously considering walking away from it.”
The thought of Cord walking away from Dante is like lifting a weight off my shoulders. I never thought this day would come. “What would you do?”
He grins at me. “What would you do without your business?”
“To be honest, I haven’t thought that far ahead.”
“Me neither. And in a way, that’s kind of liberating.”
“Tell you what,” I offer. “Let’s table this discussion until after we deal with this Python threat, but I want you to promise me something.”
He shrugs. “Sure.”
“I want to help you. I have resources Dante doesn’t have and I’m willing to put them to use. If he doesn’t like that, fuck him. I’m more concerned with your safety.”
“I’ll agree under one condition.”
“What’s that?”
“You don’t put yourself or your people at risk. I’m trained for it. You’re not.”
As much as I might resent the implication that I can’t handle myself, I know he’s right. I’m not a fighter, and he’s trained his whole life to be the weapon he is.
“Deal,” I say finally. “Now what do you say I take you out to feed? My treat.”
“Feed? Where?”
“Where else? You deserve only the best.”
“Ash, you know that’s not my style.”
“You have no problem when I order them in.”
“Yeah, but, going there? I mean, look at me. I don’t fit in with the bougie crowd.”
“You fit in anywhere you want. And I dare anyone to say otherwise.”
