Page 13 of A Layperry's Hope
I open my eyes, the sound of crying waking me from my slumber. I cannot tell what time it is based on the darkness outside, but I know there must be hours left before daytime. I sit up and look over at Maribel, letting out a long yawn. Reaching over, I pull her into bed with me, lying her across my thighs, trying to calm her while I get my brain back online.
The door to the bedroom opens a crack before Christian is peeking inside.
“Hey,” he whispers, looking at me. “Everything okay?”
I hum and wave him inside. “Maribel is hungry and needs to be changed.”
“Okay, can I help? I can feed her for you so you can go back to sleep.”
I chuckle softly and hand Maribel to Christian. “You can change her but then I will need to feed her unless you have somehow developed some interesting new features since the last time you were here.”
Christian carefully takes Maribel before staring down at me. “What?” Then his face morphs into understanding. “Jesus, okay. I haven’t developed tits since the last time I was here. I forgot you guys are built different. I’ll be right back,” he says, shaking his head at himself. I can’t help but giggle at his retreating back.
I readjust the pillows behind myself, getting comfortable while I wait for Christian to come back. Having him helping leaves me feeling confused. On the one hand, it’s strange not doing everything myself. I can hear my daughter crying in the other room, annoyed at being changed, but I am not with her. On the other hand, my chest is warm with affection. Watching Christian care for our daughter makes me feelthings. Many, many things. As much as I’d like to take things slow with Christian and keep him at arm’s length until I can trust him, seeing him like this throws all of those plans right out the window.
Maribel’s crying turns into soft whimpers before stopping all together. When Christian comes back, he has Maribel against his chest and a cup of water in his hand. He’s softly humming, keeping her happy.
And there goes my heart. So badly I wanted to keep myself from falling so quickly but all it took was this, listening to him hum our baby to sleep. I care for him so deeply that it hurts, it steals my breath, it completely consumes me.
“Here we go,” Christian whispers. “I sang her back to sleep.”
“She still needs to eat or she will be awake again in half an hour.”
“Shit, I hadn’t thought of that. Sorry.”
“No need to be sorry. You are new to all this. You will catch on to the routine soon enough,” I say without thinking. I’m not even sure hewantsto be part of our routine. I’m not sure of anything when it comes to Christian.
Christian hands Maribel over to me and I make quick work of pulling my shirt down in order to give her access to her meal. She latches beautifully.
“I would like that,” Christian says eventually, pulling my eyes away from my daughter and up to her other father. “To be part of her routines. If you’ll let me.”
“Of course,” I say right away. “There is nothing I want more than for you to be a part of her life, Christian. I don’t think I’ll ever stop being sorry for not being able to contact you sooner. I kept overthinking every single decision I made and the Ancestors’ voices didn’t make things easier. I wanted to send a ship to Earth early, to have someone tell you.”
“Hey,” Christian says, cutting me off. “Everything worked out in the end, that’s what matters. Even if the voices in your head are dicks.”
“Oh, they did not like that,” I say, bringing my free hand to my nose, pinching the bridge. “Maybe don’t insult them right before I am supposed to go back to sleep?”
“Shit, sorry,” Christian says with a wince. Under his breath I hear him call them fuckheads but I don’t call him out on it. “Here, you should drink this. I know breastfeeding can make you dehydrated.”
I take the water from him, sipping on it as Maribel continues to eat. This is such a small gesture but it means the world to me. He’s taking care of me in his own way, making sure I’m healthy. How am I supposed to keep my feelings locked away when he’s showing me kindness? How am I supposed to not fall even more in love with him when he is finally showing the soft side of himself instead of only the thorny parts?
“Thank you, Christian.”
“Don’t mention it,” he says. “Don’t need people hearing that I’m secretly a softie. I have a reputation to uphold.”
I can’t help but smile. After setting the rest of the water on my nightstand, I look up at Christian. “Your secret is safe with me. I feel special. I alone get to see this soft side of you.”
I know that I am pushing my luck, but I can’t help it. I’m so tired that it’s hard to keep my eyes open. I’m warm in my bed with my child resting against my chest. My mate ishere. How could I not be just a little bit sappy.
“You are special,” he says softly, so quiet I almost miss it. “Are you okay? Do you want me to stay?”
I want him to stay. I want him in this bed with me. I want him as my mate.
“You can go back to sleep, Christian. After this, she should sleep through the rest of the night.”
“Perfect. Good night, Ghenie.”
“Good night, Christian.”
