Page 61 of Serena
It wasn’t one of Theo’s finest moments. I never judged him for how he approached the situation. I would have done worse in his shoes. So Theo tells his husband how he found out that we slept together over the course of three weeks.
“A couple of months into our relationship, I invited Serena to dinner. I saw how close and protective you were of her. I concocted this entire scenario in my head of how you two were together before us.” He looks to me for permission to continue.“I was so jealous. I actually started to dislike her, but I know you, and I know you love hard and protect those you care about. So, with that in mind, I invited her to dinner. I begged her to tell me if something was going on between you two. She denied it, but… She must have felt sorry for me because she told me.” I share a knowing look with the couple.
I remember when Theo confronted me. I told him everything because I owed Elias. He helped me, no, he saved me. I couldn’t let the love of his life walk away thinking he was a bad person.
“I’m not happy knowing that you did that to her,” Elias tells his husband. “You should have come to me.” Elias turns his attention to Ian. “Let it go. It was long before you, and if you can’t”—he looks at me, then back to Ian—“then you don’t deserve her.”
Ian stands there in silence. Elias continues, “You got two hits. If you swing at me again, I’ll forget you’re my friend, and I won’t hold back.”
Ian’s smile is sinister, challenging. I need to de-escalate the situation. I turn to my friends. “You two need to leave. I need to talk to Ian alone.”
“Ser—”
I raise my hand. “No, Elias. Go. Please.”
After a few seconds, he gives up. “Okay.” He looks at Theo. “We need to talk as well.”
Ian and I stand there. Neither of us willing to speak first. Challenging each other, even now.
“Were you ever going to tell me?”
“The truth?”
“That’s all I want. That’s all I ever want from you. I want you to talk to me. I want you to WANT to talk to me. God, the thought of my friend and you. It’s maddening.”
“I didn’t want to tell you, but I knew I needed to. You wouldn't understand. He was there for me when I needed him.”
He scoffs. “It seems like you always need him.”
"That’s not fair. You don’t know anything.”
“Really, Serena? Why is that? You don’t open up to me. Fuck, I pray for the day that you will come to me, not him. That you’ll make me your solace. I’ve never prayed for anything in my life!”
“I was scared you’d judge me. Just like you’re doing now.” I feel my walls coming back up. My temper is getting the best of me. I attack. “What about you? You have a list of women you can call for a fuck. Those business trips? Really? You’re gone for weeks at a time. Are you sure you’re not with them? And Mila’s weird obsession with you?” My insecurities are creeping out. I hate him for having that power over me. I hate myself more for giving it to him.
He takes a step toward me. His thumb caresses my jaw. “If Elias wasn't so important to you, I’d kill him. Then again, it’s because he’s so important to you that you refuse to let me in.”
“Don’t. If you hurt him, I'll never forgive you.”
“I know. That’s why I’m still here and not hunting him down like a fucking animal. Eres solamente mia,” he repeats. “You are only mine.”
“Why can’t you move past Elias? He’s my friend.”
“Do you let all your friends fuck you?” That’s a low blow. Fuck this shit. I look him in the eyes, not backing down.
“I’m sorry if your man pride is hurting, but move on. I will not apologize for who I’ve fucked. I had a life before you, and I’ll have a life after you.” He grabs my throat and pushes me against the wall.
“There is no life after me, only a life with me.” He squeezes my throat tighter. “Let me tell you a truth. The last man who touched you was cut into pieces and fed to the sharks. So, believe me when I say I will kill anyone who touches you.”
I think back to who it could be, and it hits me. The man from our trip months ago. “The man who cornered me?”
“Yup.”
“Are you insane? Ian, that's murder.”
“Only if you get caught.” There is no remorse in his features. Just indifference. I took his words as idle threats. I knew Ian Kayde was a powerful man in the boardroom, but a killer? The better question is, why am I not afraid of him? And why is the knowledge of him killing a man not sending me into a panic? What the fuck is wrong with me? His eyes take in my reaction. He must see my inner turmoil, but he doesn’t move his hand from my throat.
He purrs into my ear. “Do you like the idea of me killing for you?” He bites my lower lip so hard that it bleeds. I taste myself; it’s intoxicating. Just like him. My breaths are shallow. My skin feels hot. I feel my core tighten.
