Page 88 of Serena
“I have a lifetime to beg for forgiveness.”
He’s right, I don’t hate him. If anything, it’s liberating to know that he accepts me. Flaws, scars, and all. I just need to accept myself.
It’s beena week since the party, and there are no new developments on the stalker front. Which has my anxiety at max. I’ve had a couple of panic attacks, but Ian has been there to help me through them. Walking into the office after publicly acknowledging Ian's and my relationship was nerve-racking. I don’t want to be known as the woman who sleeps with her boss. Apparently, no one was surprised. It seems like Ian really has no problem eye fucking me at work. Granted, he also fucks me on his desk. So often that it's become one of my favorite places. I’ve been attending kickboxing classes almost nightly. When I can’t sleep, Ian is there to help, but still, I spiral.
Speculation as to why the party was shut down has been spreading. From colleagues fighting to someone being lost on the beach. Office gossip. The company communicated that it was a security issue.
“It was totally obvious that he was into you,” Claudia tells me as she eats her pan dulce.
“Really, I thought he was just being a bossy asshole.” I laugh.
“Well, that too. Oh, by the way, do you want to come to the bar with some of the girls tonight?”
“I can’t. I’m having dinner with Yuri. I haven’t seen her in a couple of weeks. Rain check?” That’s not the only reason I don’t want to be out, but I don’t tell her that.
“So, how’s mom life?”
“Great, Ryan’s starting soccer next weekend. He’s going to be with his dad this weekend. So it’ll just be me.”
“You’re such a great mom, Claudia. He’s lucky to have you. Growing up, I wish my mom did half of what you do with your son.” There goes the ache in my heart.
“Do you want kids?” I’m caught off guard because I’ve never really thought about it.
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. “Well, I’m sure Mr. Kayde wants everything with you.”
“We haven't discussed it. I’ve learned that not everyone has the parent gene.”
She takes my hand. “I’m sure whenever you’re ready, you're going to be the best mom.” “Thanks, and let me know if you need a ride from the bar. Don’t take drinks from strangers.”
“Yes, Mom,” she says, finishing her pan dulce.
After lunch, I have interviews for Jacob's replacement. I walk to Ian’s office to brief him on the candidates. He checks his phone and looks irritated. “Everything okay?”
“Yes, just Veronica—she found an apartment, but it’s not one my family owns.”
“Isn’t that a good thing?” He looks up. Offended that I’m not taking his side. “I was thinking of renting my apartment. Maybe even selling it.”
“Sell it—that way you won’t have anywhere to run to.” I narrow my eyes at him.
“Stop suffocating your sister. If you’re like this with her, I can’t imagine what you’ll be like with our children.” I slap my hand over my mouth. Oh my god. Did I just say that?
His face beams. “You’ve thought about children with me?”
“No, yes, I don’t know. Claudia asked if I wanted children, and it just stuck with me.”
“Mi Reina, do you want kids?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. I’m just scared that I won’t be a good mom. What if I don’t have the mom gene? What if they break something or cut themselves? That would be hard for me.” He rises from his chair and makes his way to me.
“I’ll be there with you, if you decide it’s what you want.”
He moves to lock his door. “Since I didn’t get a no, let me just practice for now.” My pussy tightens. He comes over to me and bends me over his desk. “You in these pencil skirts are a wet dream.” He pulls it up. “I love you not wearing panties. Expecting to get fucked. Arms up, baby. You know what to do.” I raise my hands and grip the edge of the desk. I hear his zipper. “You're ready for me.”
“Yes, Mr. Kayde.”
He leans down and bites my cheek. “That one’s going to leave a mark. Remember to shut that smart-ass mouth of yours.” I don’t get a chance to respond. He grabs my hips and slams into me. “This is such a good angle for the camera.”
“Camera?”
