Page 50 of When Sinners Rise
There’s a bag of crisps just outside the gate, so someone must have visited me while I slept. Funny, I didn’t think I’d be able to sleep in here. Exhaustion must have pulled me down. And now the idea of that brute delivering me food and watching over me when I wasn’t aware of him gives me the chills. Is he the one making the girls scream?
Maybe it was Shaw.
My subconscious drops that one into my mind, and I try to slap away the little glimmer that comes with the thought he might be back. He’s a monster. And I’m a fool. But he’s also the only possible way out if he does show up again. We have a connection, I’m not too stubborn to admit that, and if he sees more of me as a person – the girl outside of the cage – thenthere’s a bigger chance he won’t go through with whatever plan they have for me.
I sit up and try to stretch some of the aches out of my body. The fight with Shaw and the uncomfortable ground has left me sore. If I have to fight again, I’m going to be slow and clumsy.
My feet brush over the dirt and grit on the floor, looking for anything I can try to use to pick the lock. My dare with Shaw got me so far, but he said the door was guarded. Which means I'd probably just be dragged back.
The circles of questions in my mind make me dizzy, and I snatch the bag of crisps through the bars to sit down and eat. At least the salt tastes good.
Over the crunch and crack of the crisps, the low cry of someone starts up again. It’s a desolate and sad sound that only reinforces the shit position we’re all in. Naja said she wanted me to be safe. I’m sure she couldn’t foresee the events that have unfolded since she left me, and I wonder if it was worth it for her because, from where I am, it hasn’t been.
I lick my fingers and wipe at the inside of the packet, getting every last spec of salt before leaving it on the floor.
The noises and screams begin again, growing louder and louder, with random interludes that form their own kind of torture as I wait to hear what’s next.
Time continues to pass with the haunting noises of this place as the only company. Thirst and hunger start to cause me to worry, and I imagine what it would be like to be left here. It makes me want to get up and rage against the bars, yell and scream until someone comes. But I talk myself down and wait. They wouldn’t have gone to all this trouble just to let me rot.
Telling myself that is maybe the only thing stopping me from going mad.
The sounds quieten, but they don’t grow completely silent.
Finally, footsteps enter the pattern of noise, heavy ones that aren’t even. I look around and watch as Shaw weaves his way from the shadow. Relief hits me first that it’s not the woman or the big guy.
He looks tired. His head is down, and his shirt is skewed. He doesn’t stop in front of the cage but walks past it, then turns, pacing back and forth. Neither of us say a word, and with every pass of the cage door, I grow more and more wary of what he’s here to do. The sick feeling in my stomach grips my insides and twists – is this it? Has he come to do whatever they have planned? Kill me, sell me to some sick guy to keep me as a slave?
“Arghh!” He jumps forward and rattles the bars on the cage, making me step back in shock.
He starts pacing again and shaking his head.
“Shaw?” I ask, the fear strangling my voice. I cough to try and clear it. “Are we going to pick up where we left off last time?” I'm hoping to find that connection between us, but he still won’t look at me. All I can see is guilt. “Shaw?”
“What?” He snaps, grabbing the bars and putting his face up against them. This time he looks at me, and I see anger in his tense jaw. It sits heavy there, morphing the face I first met. The faint marks I left from my nails when we fought still visible. I’m still not sure if it was from anger at him or myself for wanting him in some crazed fit of lust.
Well, fine. If he’s going to act like a dick, I step further back into the cage and sit down. “What are you gonna do then? I’ve already had a visit from your trainer. She doesn’t like me very much.” I start talking at him, now pissed off. And scared. “What was the point of leaving me here? Trying to scare me some more? Another lesson in not to mess with you?” I keep on at him, and he turns away, back to pacing. “Just get on with it,Shaw!” I shout. My heart is pounding as I wait because that’s what’s crushing me in here. Waiting and not knowing.
He storms up to the cage again, but as he bangs on the bars, he starts to unlock them.
“What are you doing?” Panic swarms inside and starts to override me. “Shaw? Where am I going?”
He swings it open and stands back. Waiting. His head drops, like it was when he first came in here. I look around, snatching glances and waiting for someone else or something else to happen. Nothing does. Even the sounds of the other girls have slipped into silence.
“Just go. You’re not meant to be here.”
“Sorry?” I start, waiting for an explanation. “I don’t understand.” I stand up but stay inside.
He leans against the wall outside. “Neither do I. Just go.”
“But …”
“Go!” he barks. “Don’t make me regret doing this.”
His voice sets me moving, creeping my feet forward until I’m outside and level with him. I look at him, but he keeps his eyes away. Is this a test? Am I going to walk into a wall of pain if I start to run? And if he’s letting me go, why now? What’s changed? I take a step and wait. Then another. My heart starts racing, and the adrenalin starts to kick in, urging me on, pushing me to move past the fear.
Another few steps, and I look back. He’s still near the cage, now watching me, and I know this isn’t a game. He’s really doing this. So I move to run, starting off in the direction away from the quiet noises. My feet carry me, faster and faster, as panic sets in. I’m desperate in some wild way to reach an exit or get to freedom, blindly stumbling in the gloom until I reach a door.
I place my hands up against it and study the bolts running from floor to ceiling at the hinge. This is like a bunker door, the same as in the movies. It isn't a movie, though.
