Page 53 of When Sinners Rise
Gravel and dust kick out behind me as I finally turn the headlights on so I can see.
“Shaw?” I power down on the gas again, ignoring her. “Shaw, you’re bleeding.” Yeah, I feel it. Blood’s leaking out of my head from the fight. I lift my hand and swipe at my forehead, spinning the wheel with my other hand to get us moving towards the freeway and out of here. “It’s going to need more than that. A doctor maybe or-”
“Shut the hell up. It’s all your damn fault, anyway.”She just had to run. Go. That’s all I had to give her, and now we’re here – both of us running – and I’ve just gone against everything I’ve been bred to believe in. “Couldn’t just fucking run, could you? No. Had to get all mouthy with me and cause more goddamn problems.”
“I wouldn’t be in the middle of this if it wasn’t for you!”
My head swings to look at her. “Fuck you, Miri.”
She instantly turns to look out the passenger side window. “Yeah. Fuck you, too.”
Silence descends as I keep driving and try thinking my way through this shit. There aren’t any easy options, and underlying all that is the real fear biting at me about the state Abel’s in. I look at my phone, knowing I need to call someone and let them know they need to get there and help him. I’m not far enough away yet, though. Miri definitely isn’t. After what I’ve just done, we both need to be a long ass way from home with no chance of anyone finding us anytime soon.
I pull over five minutes later at an abandoned farm building, hiding the car around back and strip the tracking out of it. A few minutes walking around in the dead of night, constantly flipping my glare at her still in the passenger seat and growling at my own fucking stupidity, I eventually send a text to Mariana to go help. I have to. It doesn’t matter how good beating him felt or how powerful I felt for once in my life; he’s my brother.
Swallowing some shame down, I stare into the night. He just kept goading me – not giving me one goddamn inch of respect. I had to do this – had to. What other way was there? Backing down again? Rolling over like a fucking dog? Agreeing that what we’re doing with these girls, with Miri, is okay? It isn’t. Never has been.
Fuck them.
Sim pulled from the phone and crushed into the dirt, and I slide back into the car.
“What was all that about?” Miri asks.
I don’t answer. I pull out onto the road and get the speed to max again. Old, empty suburbs and broken-up buildings go past the window, and I stay in my own head. I don’t even know what I’m doing other than running. Guess we need a motel or something, some place to lie low while I think this through some more. I push my hand into my pants, searching for cash. Aroundfifty bucks falls out of my shaking hand and lands between us. That’s getting us nowhere fast, and I can’t use any card I’ve got because Knox will track the shit out of that.
My hand slams the steering wheel.
“FUCK!”
Miri shrinks away from me, pulling her legs up into the seat to try to hide herself in the door. I sneer at the move and keep focused on the road, using my head rather than whatever insanity put this night in motion. I’d like to blame it all on my dick, because, damn, she’s a good fuck, but it’s not that – not entirely, anyway. It’s years of repression and goddamn tyranny above me.
Shaw’s not good enough, Shaw couldn’t manage shit, Shaw’s pointless.
Yeah, I heard them all, and most times, they didn’t even bother hiding that kinda conversation from me. Did it right in front of my face like I wasn’t even there. Well, look who’s come out of the shadows now? They should’ve been more careful with me, more cautious.
“Thank you,” Miri says quietly. I swing my glare at her again. She’s shaking a little, still looking out the window. “Just, thank you, Shaw.”
A disgusted, half-hearted laugh falls out of me in response.
She shouldn’t be thanking me. I just signed her death warrant for her.
Possibly my own, too.
A few more miles travelled and sense starts kicking in. I need money, and at the moment, I’m down for getting it any way I can. I scan the area we’re in and take a left, driving us straight towards one of the places that pay us monthly for the privilege of being able to work our territory.
The old, quiet casino comes into view a few more miles along, and I pull over.
“Stay here and stay low,” I mutter, killing the engine.
She looks right at me and grabs my arm. “What? Why? What’s going on?”
I peel the fingers from my arm and pull my gun from the glove box. “We need cash. I’m getting some.”
“Shaw, wait. Are you going in there to fight? What if you don’t come out again? What do I do then? What if your brother wakes up and follows us?”
I sigh and look around the parking lot, knowing that’s always a possibility in my life. “Can you drive?”
“Um, yeah.”
