Page 75 of When Sinners Rise
Pulling up the driveway slowly, I look behind me in the rearview and watch him disappear into the grounds. Love? I’m not in love with her. I don’t have anything else to say either. What would there be to say? We’re worlds apart. I just caught a conscience at the right time is all.
Still, that doesn’t stop me from looking the way they went as I pull up to the road. I’ve turned that way without too much thinking, and before I know it, I’m tracking the roads to follow the coast for Smithtown Bay. It isn’t to say anything. I don’t need to say a damn thing, but for whatever reason, and probably because of who I am and who Logan is, I want to see her get to Landon. It isn’t finished until then, and I can’t deny that or let it go. Call it an inbuilt cynicism and suspicion of everything or a learned behaviour given my past. And, I guess maybe, if I’m realdamn honest with myself, I do want to see that body leave my shores. I want to see those eyes again one more time.
~
The place is a goddamn mansion. Weathered and a little screwed, but this is real old money from generations back with a view over the ocean to be envied. Clearwater. What a name for the house of a priest who screws a villain. There’s nothing clear about them as a pair that I can see. Although maybe Miri was right and they just love each other.
Smiling to myself, I keep looking at Logan’s car parked up on the huge drive from my position on the incoming road. Looks like his priest is rich as hell behind those robes. It’s not what he seemed like in that humble little cottage, but what would I know about generational wealth? I’m the son of a whore who built her fortune from dirty beds, spread legs and cum stained sheets.
Logan will know I’m here, no doubt. I’ve not hidden the car too much, and with his own set of suspicious morals, he’ll be constantly scoping out the periphery. I’ve scanned the windows occasionally, searching for a glimpse of her. I haven’t caught one. I’m not surprised. He’s probably told them both to stay away from the windows in case someone’s coming to cause trouble. This isn’t a well-fortified stronghold. It’s quiet, other than the heavy salt wind and breeze. No real traffic. Not many people either. And, whilst I don’t expect my brothers to walk all over Cane to get what they want, they’re persistent as fuck when something’s pissed on them. Dante’s already in Manhattan somewhere, and Abel, well, he might just blow everything to shit just to make his damn point felt. Who knows with him. He’s a goddamn law unto himself most days.
Sighing, I rest back and keep scanning. I thought about getting out for a while, about going in there and saying things, but I don’t know what they are. Maybe Samuel knew what I wanted to say, but I don’t. He should’ve told me back there at the church, made me look deeper than the surface level I’ve lived in most of my life. I’m only just working out who I am without my family’s influence forcing me into ways I’m not made for, and he thinks I should be saying something, laying something on the line maybe? Like what?
Snorting at the futility of that, I just keep staring. It’s not like I’ve got anywhere else to be anyway. No one wants me, and the only place I’ve got to go isn’t going to be anywhere near welcoming me home. No, I’m just gonna do this until the end. Make sure that all this was worth it, and then, maybe, I’ll find the right words to go home and set some things straight. After that, who fucking knows.
Eventually, I see them come out the front door. Miri walks straight past the car and heads for the gates, apparently shouting at Logan about something, and then Naja. I watch her scowl set in as she turns back to Naja and raises her finger, pointing and shouting some more, and then she’s moving again until the gates open and she’s running along the street towards me.
I get out and start moving for her, wondering what the hell she’s doing. “What the fuck are you doing? Get in his car,” I shout.
She comes to a stop in front of me. “Why are you here?”
“I wanted to make sure he wasn’t playing with me. You need to go, Miri.”
His car pulls alongside us, the window dropping, and he stares at us. “Don't have much time,” he says.
“Miri, please,” Naja calls. “Get in the car.”
Miri looks straight at me. “Do you want me to get in his car?” I swallow away the thought that maybe I don’t and walk to his back door to open it.
“Get in, Miri. Go.” She moves around me, her hand dragging my goddamn arm as she goes. “You have to go.” Our hands touch, and my own fucking eyes stare at hers for too long. Thoughts rush into my head. Stupid fucking thoughts about a time that isn’t now or here or even fucking reasonable for who we are. “Go, please.”
“But-”
“But nothing.” I push her shoulders back to the seat and buckle her in. “This is goodbye. Now go.”
Taking a step back, I slam the door on her, and within a second, the car pulls off and leaves me standing in the dust it’s created. It only takes me a few dead minutes in the wind for me to realise that I didn’t want her to get in that car yet. I wanted her with me, beside me, and because of it I’m now torn between seeing this through to the end or just turning and heading home to face the goddamn music.
CHAPTER TWENTY - EIGHT
MIRI
Goodbye.
The word rings in my head all the way to the airport.
That’s it. Just goodbye.
The moment I see Landon, I run to him. It’s instinctual. My feet race across the tarmac, and I slam into him. He wraps me in his arms, and I burst into tears because there’s not enough left in me anymore to hold them back. It’s been building, time and time again. I’ve pushed them back, fought them, but with Shaw’s goodbye and now seeing Landon, I allow myself to let it all out.
“It’s alright. I’ve got you,” he says.
It’s not the voice I want to hear, but I seek comfort in what he’s offering. And then I feel Willow’s arms join, pulling me tighter into the centre of them both.
I’d never have thought I’d miss them like I did. And I’m not sure if I did, not properly, until the second I saw them. Maybe he was fighting for me, too? He’s here, isn’t he? He came quickly, like he was expecting the call.
Sniffing back the tears, I let Willow fuss, checking my face and holding me to her. It goes on for a while before I realise I’ve ignored Naja. This was the reunion I thought we’d have had, maybe not right away, but when we were at the motel. But she’s not there yet. Neither of us is ready to move past the bad stuff to get back to the familiar connection we had.
Willow looks past me, and I know she’s seen her. I keep tight to her side, and both Willow and Landon look at Naja. There’s an awkward pause between them all. She’s what set all of this in motion when she left me with them.
