Page 30 of Beneath Her Hands
They went separate directions when they made it back to the ER, Rosalind heading directly to the trauma rooms and Janeheading for the desk to get a tally on the patients that still needed treatment. Rosalind lost sight of her as she turned her attention to the patient in the room, another woman, another foreman. They must have been close to the center of whatever the explosion was. This one was also covered in burns, but there was no report of blunt force trauma, still Rosalind took her time during the examination; she knew all too well how easily these things hid behind the burns. The woman’s face had surprisingly been spared, but it was twisted in pain, and Rosalind upped her morphine allowing her to relax if only slightly.
She moved the patient into a holding space to wait for the next available recovery room, and she saw Jane drifting through the ER moving and arranging the staff and checking in on the patients. Rosalind had to resist the urge to walk up and kiss her in front of everyone. The realization hit her like a ton of bricks. She was in love with Jane Roberts.
14
Jane
Atotal of thirty-six patients had been admitted to the hospital that day. It was more that the emergency room would see in a week sometimes. Jane’s eyes burned with exhaustion, but things were finally beginning to slow down in the ER. Rosalind had performed several surgeries already, and there was one left on the board. Jane jumped in to assist. It wasn’t completely necessary, but the thrill of working alongside Rosalind was something she couldn’t resist. It was like they were a perfect match, their movements in sync with each other, and the surgeries themselves couldn’t go smoother. This one was relatively straightforward; the patient needed some reconstruction on her arm. She had actually been one of the first ones in the hospital but had been pushed back to make space for the higher-priority patients. Still, Rosalind had not lost a single patient that day—something that was almost unheard of in this type of situation.
Jane smiled as she entered the scrub area and started washing her hands. “So, about that dinner?” she joked. It wasalmost four in the morning, and they had not stopped yet. They were both exhausted, but it had been a very successful day.
“Breakfast, maybe,” Rosalind said, “but only after a couple hours of sleep.”
“Agreed,” Jane smiled again as she looked at Rosalind. She could tell that Rosalind was still trying to hold back, but something had broken through during all this. Perhaps Rosalind was finally starting to see what they could be together. It was probably just wishful thinking, but Jane was going to enjoy the fantasy for as long as Rosalind let her.
The surgery itself was uneventful. Rosalind reconstructed the ligaments around the arm, and Jane applied dressings and medication that would help the muscles to regrow as best they could. The patient would still need a lot of recovery time, and would have a lot of significant scarring, but as long as she put in the effort she would still live a long and fulfilling life. Considering she statistically shouldn’t be alive at all, that was a massive success as far as Jane was concerned. Rosalind’s work was almost an art form, and Jane found herself mesmerized with each cut, each stitch. Rosalind’s practiced hands moved deftly through the surgery, aligning and arranging ligaments and reattaching blood vessels. It was a beautiful thing to watch.
They finished the surgery and headed down to the locker rooms. They were both wearing hospital-issued scrubs, something they weren’t entirely used to, but Rosalind still looked amazing. Her strong arms and legs strained against the soft fabric, and though the circles under her eyes gave away her exhaustion, she looked fulfilled, almost happy.
“Rosalind,” Jane said, glancing around to make sure they were alone.
Rosalind turned to look at her with slightly glazed eyes.
“You were amazing out there,” she said.
“So were you,” Rosalind admitted, and her eyes softened.
“We work well together.” Jane smiled at her.
“We do,” Rosalind said with a return smile.
“I… I just want to tell you that,” Jane said.
“Thank you,” Rosalind said with a slight flush to her cheeks.
“Listen, I don’t want you to feel any pressure,” Jane said, “but I know there’s something here, between us.” Jane’s chest tightened in apprehension. She didn’t want to scare Rosalind away from her.
“I…” Rosalind began but the words got caught in her throat.
“I don’t want to shut it down before it begins, is all I’m saying,” Jane said. “If you need time, that’s okay. If you need space, just tell me, but I’m very attracted to you and I don’t want to lose you from my life completely.”
“Jane, I…” Rosalind seemed to be fighting with something. “I feel the same way, but it’s terrifying. I don’t want to be held down, to be held back, and I know it wouldn’t be your fault, but I would stay behind for you, I would stop doing all the things that I do best to keep you safe from it all, and I’m scared of where that might lead.”
“You feel the same way?” Jane asked. Her heart felt like it was going to burst.
“That’s what you took from that?” Rosalind asked and lifted an eyebrow.
“Yes, earlier today you were trying to convince me that you didn’t have those feelings,” Jane said and attempted to mask a snicker.
“I’ve tried denying it. I’ve tried shutting it down, but I have feelings for you, too, Jane. I admit it; I like you. I want to be around you, the thought of losing you is already frightening whether that’s because we decide not to pursue whatever this is or worse something happens to one of us.” Rosalind took a deep breath. “I think I’m falling for you, Jane, and I have no idea how to handle it.”
Jane fought to keep the smile from breaking out on her face but failed spectacularly.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Rosalind said, though a smile crept across her lips, too.
“I’m sorry,” Jane said, though she wasn’t.
“I just need time to process all this,” Rosalind said. “Between this, and this job and my family, I’m just overwhelmed right now.”
