Page 68 of The Secret Life of a Lady
‘But you never said…’
‘You weren’t ready to tell me. I was happy to wait. Do you remember the letter I wrote? The one that brought you to my house?’
Hannah nodded.
‘My relationship with Lord Winterbourne was not ideal.’ Philippa cleared her throat. ‘Your mother provided him with things I could not. But she also gave me an invaluable gift. She kept him distracted. Attentions he would have forced upon me, she readily accepted. When I wrote to your mother upon his death and promised to continue the allowance he had given her, it was because I was grateful to her. And when I offered my help in a time of need, I truly hoped she would accept my offer. But I understand why she didn’t. She was a proud woman who didn’t want to be beholden to her lover’s wife.’
Hannah shook her head as a terrible truth emerged. ‘You would have helped us if Mama asked. She never would have had to take up with the baron if she accepted your offer.’
‘Yes. That is true. And she may have lived. You would never have murdered the baron. But you also wouldn’t be where you are now, Hannah. Only fire can forge steel. The hotter the flame, the stronger the blade. That night, you learned something invaluable about yourself. That you have the strength to do what must be done to protect the innocent.’
‘But I didn’t protect my mother. I failed her.’
‘You were just a girl, Hannah. And you stopped a monster. It is because of what you did that night I knew you had the strength, courage, and fortitude to be my apprentice. You are Lord Winterbourne’s only heir, you know. You carry with you the best of him. And the best of your mother.’
Hannah couldn’t swallow past the lump in her throat. ‘You taught me well, Philippa. I carry the best of you with me as well. And that is how I know we will catch these bastards. They may have a brotherhood, but we have something far more powerful. We have each other. And we don’t fail.’
Not again. I will not fail again.
Drake pulled up hard on his reins. His horse reared in protest. Killian nearly ran into his friend before wheeling his mount in a tight circle.
‘You did what?’ Drake roared, his deep baritone echoing across the rolling fields.
‘Bloody hell, Drake!’ Killian fought to control the stallion beneath him.
They were only a few miles from Everly Manor and had been riding like demons for a day and a half. Killian was consumed with warring thoughts. His mission and his passion.
How could he convince Alfred to confess without bloodshed? Master Bright’s information was damning but not enough for a conviction in the House of Lords. He needed a confession or hard evidence to prove Alfred’s guilt. Yet, when he tried to devise a plan, his thoughts invariably returned to Hannah.
How could he salvage the mess he’d made? Instead of plotting Alfred Cavendale’s capture, he desperately tried to discover a way forward with Hannah. His inability to puzzle out a plan led Killian to admit his actions to Drake as they neared Everly. He hoped for sage advice. Instead, his confession prompted Drake’s ridiculous overreaction.
I’d have been better off asking Master Bright.
‘I knew I shouldn’t have told you.’ Killian calmed his horse with a steady hand on the animal’s powerful neck.
‘You slept with Miss Simmons? A lady. And a virgin? Are you mad?’
Killian clenched his teeth together. ‘She would argue the first and offer no compunctions about the second.’
Drake shook his head, his scar blazing white against hisdarker skin. ‘Bollocks to that! You know better. Youarebetter than this.’
Guilt curdled like oil and vinegar in his stomach. ‘I did propose… afterward.’
Drake’s laughter was as dry and harsh as the Afghanistan desert. ‘I’m sure she loved that.’
‘She did not.’
‘Of course she didn’t, you idiot! Why? Why do this? Why ruin her and heap another bowl of burning coals on your own head? I know you, Killian. You are no rake. You will spend the next twenty years berating yourself for this.’
Shame, anger, and frustration clamped around Killian’s lungs like steel. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t breathe. He would trade his freedom for a prison cell again if only he could make this right. ‘Because I love her!’ Killian thundered in desperation. ‘I love her,’ he said again in a ragged whisper.I love her.
Drake swallowed. His horse stamped the muddy path. A bee buzzed a lazy trail between the men, chasing the scent of pollen. ‘Love?’ Drake spoke the word like a curse. ‘What an asinine reason for such a horrific miscalculation.’
Killian only refrained from leaping off his horse and dragging Drake into the mud because it would delay his arrival at Everly.
‘Did you profess your love?’ Drake asked.
Killian tipped his head to the sky. Fat white clouds skidded across a blanket of azure as deep and endless as his regrets. ‘No. I may have mentioned sacrificing a proper duchess for the greater good of preserving my honour.’
