Page 9 of The Secret Life of a Lady
‘I’m not some ignorant fool.’
‘Yes, but we’ve never discussed the tenderness one might feel towards, er, another.’
‘Did you ever feel tenderness for Lord Winterbourne?’ Distracting Philippa from her line of interrogation was becoming desperately imperative. Hannah was willing to latch onto any topic. Even the forbidden ones.
Philippa’s mouth hardened. ‘Decidedly not. He quickly realised any inclination of affection he had toward me was best abandoned. In truth, I encouraged his unfaithfulness. We were happiest when apart, so we strove to maintain distance.’
‘Was he so terrible?’ He used to always bring Hannah lemon drops when he came to visit because he knew they were her favourite. But one couldn’t always trust kindness.
‘The man I knew was very different from the one who visited you and your mother.’ Philippa rubbed her finger against her thumb rhythmically. A clear sign she was upset.
Hannah’s stomach churned. She hated the stain of her birth. A bastard child. Knowing her father was Philippa’s husband added another sticky layer of guilt to the weight Hannah carried.
Philippa shook her head. ‘That was badly done of me, Hannah. I didn’t mean to speak ill of your father.’
‘Please. You have done nothing badly. I am more grateful to you than I could ever express.’ Disgrace tasted like ash in Hannah’s mouth. She did not deserve the lavish life Philippa provided, so she must never stop striving to earn her second chance.
Philippa brushed the whole awkward conversation away like apesky gnat. ‘Let’s get back to the point. Namely, your interest in Lieutenant General Killian.’
The woman was impossible!
‘I amnotinterested in him.’ Hannah’s voice rose with exasperation. ‘Besides, what could I do even if I were interested? Flirtation ruins reputations.’ She shook her head, resolute. ‘I wouldn’t dare bring such shame on you. Not after everything you’ve done for me. I am not a creature built for love.’
Whiskey-laced tea steamed in Philippa’s cup as she brought it slowly to her lips and sipped again. She held Hannah’s gaze. ‘All creatures deserve love, Hannah. And no woman should feel shame for her desires. Men certainly don’t. If you wish to explore physical intimacy with a worthy partner, I’d never think less of you. Besides, I’m too wealthy and too well connected to care much about the opinions of others. Most people are dolts. Their judgements are irrelevant.’
Hannah exhaled. While she knew Philippa was wrong aboutallcreatures deserving love, her words were an unexpected boon. Love was out of the question, but desire? Perhaps one day, she might be tempted to indulge her curiosity and see what all the fuss was about. Especially knowing she could pursue a dalliance without risking her place in Philippa’s house or her patroness’ esteem.
‘Thank you. As marriage is not my goal, I always assumed my options were considerably limited in that arena. Perhaps with the right man, I might want to… well, anyway. It doesn’t matter because Lieutenant General Killian isnotthe right man. He’s far too…’
‘Potent?’ Philippa’s eyes sparkled with mischief.
‘Inappropriate. He’s a duke and I’m… well, me. I wouldn’t have the first idea how to flirt with him.’
‘I’m going to tell you a secret about men. Prepare yourself as it will shock you.’
Hannah straightened her shoulders and nodded, ready for any helpful advice.
‘All men are fascinated… with themselves. Just keep the conversation focused on him.’
‘That is a revelation.’ Hannah rolled her eyes, leaning back into the soft cushions of the love seat. ‘I thought you were going to be helpful.’
Philippa patted Hannah’s hand. ‘Don’t fret. You’ll be fine. I have complete faith in you.’
Hannah sighed. ‘I appreciate your vote of confidence, but I still don’t think it’s wise to draw Lord Killian’s notice.’ Nor did she trust herself to remain invisible in his presence. ‘Let’s stick to our original plan. After my discovery last night, I can prove Sarah Bright was a servant of Lord Bradford’s until two weeks before her body was found. The ledger shows her last wages were paid on that date. It clearly links her to him. Or at least to his house. He could easily be our killer.’
‘Fine. We shall carry on as planned.’ Philippa placed her tea back on the saucer and stood. She walked to the bell pull and tugged. ‘He could be our killer, but it’s not enough. We must be sure of his guilt before exacting judgment. There is another avenue of inquiry I want you to explore. I received a message from the Queen.’
Hannah nodded for her to continue.
‘Apparently, Sarah Bright’s father is a handloom weaver. I want you to have a little chat with Sarah Bright’s parents. Perhaps they can shed some light on the last two weeks of her life.’
Hannah stood. ‘Well, if the Queen commands it, I’d better be off.’
‘May I share a piece of advice with you before you go?’
Hannah paused, her hand on the door handle. ‘Of course.’
‘If you aren’t going to distract Lieutenant General Killian, then you really must stay out of his way. Prime Minister Russell does not choose his detectives for their stupidity or clumsiness.’ Philippa’s cobalt eyes held a warning. And concern.
