Page 24 of The Confessions of a Lady
‘Taking me to task once more, Miss Smith.’
Hellfire. He is going to dismiss me. Here. Now. In the middle of the night with no references and no chance of finding any more evidence against him. What if he doesn’t allow me to return to my room and pack my belongings? The letter will be lost. I’ll have thrown away everything because of my own stupid hubris.
Penny bit her lip as the weight of her choices descended. She refused to let the tears escape. ‘Do not ask me for honesty if you have no wish to hear it.’
Liam stepped closer, the lamplight reflecting in his azure eyes. What she saw staggered her.
Regret. Fear. Shame. The bleakness of a fallen angel.
‘I always want you to speak your mind to me, Miss Smith. Even if your words shake me to my core.’
‘Is that why you retreat from me? Because I say too much?’
‘I retreat because I fear I might lose control otherwise. So few dare to be honest with me. It is a rare and wondrous thing. But I am not used to someone stripping me bare so easily.’
Heat washed over Penny. ‘I would never s-strip you… that is, it is not my place to… I am just your maid, my lord.’
‘You are hardly just a maid.’ He took another tentative step closer. ‘You have been honest with me. Will you grant me the same allowance?’
She swallowed, not sure if she wanted to hear honesty from the marquess. But Penny Smith was no coward. She tipped her chin down, then up again.
He stole the thoughts from her head with his next words. ‘I think you are… fascinating, Miss Smith.’
‘I’m not. Fascinating. I’m just a maid who keeps forgetting her place. No more than that.’ The truth of her words pressed against her like thorns from a rose. Because she was no more than that. And she wasn’t just forgetting her place. She was forgetting her purpose, her mission.
What if I’m wrong? What if he isn’t a monster? Just a man?
It mattered not. Regardless of his guilt or innocence, he wasn’t for her. He wouldneverbe for her.
‘You are so much more than that.’ He reached toward her, but she stepped back.
She couldn’t afford to forget herself. Not again.
Anger or embarrassment flushed his cheeks. ‘Now I’ve been too honest.’ His small smile held no joy. ‘My breach of etiquette far exceeds your own. I took liberties. For that, I am sorry.’
The thought of their brief kiss filled her again with painful longing for something she could never have. It would be so easy to let him carry the blame for their wild moment. He was already claiming the fault. But she couldn’t allow the lie to stand. Just because she was determined not to repeat the mistake again didn’t mean she would let him castigate himself for a sin he hadn’t committed.
‘No, you took nothing I didn’t freely give.’ Her cheeks grew warm at the admission. But it was the truth. She had wanted to kiss him. She still wanted to kiss him, even as logic screamed at her for being a fool.
I am the biggest idiot.
Running a hand through his hair, he clenched his jaw. ‘You are hardly in a position to refuse me. I’m your employer. And I’ve put you in an untenable position.’
Penny laughed softly. ‘In our short acquaintance, have I given you reason to believe I can’t speak my mind? You didn’t force me to kiss you. You told me you would stop if I asked. Were you lying?’
He hissed out a breath. ‘No. I wasn’t. Although it would have broken me to do so.’
Penny believed him. ‘But you didn’t break, because I didn’t ask you to stop.’
His gaze burned into her soul, illuminating secrets and shadows she wished to keep hidden.
Sweet Jesus.
He took a measured step back. ‘Which is a problem, Miss Smith.’ It was. A real problem. ‘Because I didn’t want to stop either.’
Something small and bright in her core exploded at the admission. They were equal in their desire for each other if in nothing else.
Penny wrapped her robe tight around her. ‘It won’t happen again, my lord. I won’t allow it.’
