Page 54 of A Most Unlikely Lady
Standing from the desk chair, Edward carefully returned it to its proper place. Her desk was as neat and tidy as the woman who owned it. A drastic contrast to his own messy habits. Reading would approve of Ivy’s commitment to organisation, something Edward had never mastered. But surely, she had a few messes tucked away somewhere. A drawer or cupboard full of odds and ends. Secret spaces of chaos he would love to explore. Picking up one of her lists, he couldn’t stop the smile.
‘Is this shopping list alphabetised?’
Ivy’s cheeks grew pink, and the blush he loved bloomed on her throat. ‘No. Maybe. It helps to ensure I don’t forget something.’
She stood and placed her cup on the tray, grabbing for the list as he quickly lifted it out of her reach. She tried again, lunging for him, her expression a mixture of determination and delight. He switched the list to his other hand behind his back. This time, when she tried to snatch it, she had to reach around his body, her face only inches from his own. He wrapped his arm around her waist to steady her as she stumbled, her body flush against his.
As swiftly as wind changing direction, the playful energy shifted. Ivy bit her lip, her eyes focusing on Edward’s mouth. He felt her gaze like sun warming his skin. His body tightened. He knew she could feel his erection. Not wanting to repeat his earlier mistake, he immediately loosened his arm and stepped back.
‘I don’t want to frighten you, Ivy.’ He couldn’t stand to see the fear in her eyes. Not because of him or his stupid, optimistic cock. ‘But just because my body is… reacting, it doesn’t mean anything will happen. I swear it. Not without your permission.’
She stepped close enough to touch him, tracing the outline of his lips with her soft fingers. ‘I don’t want to be frightened. I hate it.’ The vehemence in her words echoed through Edward. He would giveanythingto destroy her dread. But this wasn’t his battle. It was hers. He couldn’t face demons only she could see. But he could stand with her as she fought them. If she would allow it.
Stuffing the list in his pocket, he ran his hand down her arm in a stroke intending to comfort and pressed his forehead against hers. ‘Sometimes, we have to face the fear. By doing so we discover it isn’t what we thought at all. We light the lamp, and the shadows lose their power to haunt.’
Ivy shifted her head, her soft cheek brushing against his stubbled one. ‘I wasn’t frightened when we were kissing, or at least, notveryfrightened.’
‘Because you are a woman of incredible courage.’
He could feel the apple of her cheek pressing against his own as she laughed. ‘Hardly.’
Edward ran his hand over her silken hair. ‘Most definitely.’
He was quite certain his body was going to explode with frustrated desire. But it was worth the glory of feeling Ivy’s firm lips press softly against his jaw. ‘I always thought kissing would be awful. And that was before I knew about tongues being involved. But when you licked me, it was… marvellous. Would I like licking you, I wonder?’
‘Perhaps you should conduct an experiment.’ He could hear the hope in his voice as he held his breath. Waiting. ‘Lick away. See what you think.’
The velvet softness of her wet tongue on his neck created a corresponding sharp pleasure, tightening his spine. The sparking zing coalesced at the base of his back.
This is how I die. My heart will simply explode from beating too bloody hard.
‘Hmmmm. I can understand the appeal.’ Her words brushed over his throat, then her lips pressed against his thundering pulse.
Inspiration struck as his body balanced on the brink of combustion. ‘Mayhap the rest will be similar.’
Pulling back, Ivy frowned. ‘I don’t understand.’
He felt the absence of her warmth but was also grateful for the separation. She was killing him in increments, and if he was going to keep his promise of not frightening her with the wild fantasies thundering through his mind, space was necessary. He let his hands fall to his side and took a step back.
‘I went too fast earlier. When I pulled you against me, and you felt…’ Bollocks. Now he was blushing. He couldn’t very well say ‘cock’ in front of Ivy.
‘Millie calls it a cock.’
Or I suppose I can just let Ivy say it for me.
Hearing the vulgar word slip from her perfect mouth, easy as you please, might be one of the more surreal moments Edward had experienced. He couldn’t reflect on it because she was still talking, and he was desperate to hear what she might say next.
‘I’ve heard other words for it.’ She looked away for a moment. ‘But I think cock is rather nice. I’ve always thought they were pretty birds. Much more glamourous than chickens.’
Edward refused to think about whom she had heard those other words from.
Her father.
That vile monster had no place here. Instead, he focused on how charming it was to hear Ivy describe ‘cock’ as a nice word because the barnyard animal it described was glamorous.
Fucking hell.
He could almost hear the last brick crumbling in the carefully constructed walls around his heart. It was impossible to isolate himself from this woman. Impossible to keep the vow he made so long ago. But perhaps he could find a loophole. He promised to remain alone, but that didn’t mean he needed to avoid physical intimacy with Ivy. Even if he developed affection for her, she never needed to know. She had no desire for a husband, and Edward did not deserve a wife. Especially not one as fascinating as Ivy. If he fell, crashing into a thousand pieces upon landing, it would be a fitting consequence, and he would still be keeping his vow of solitude. In fact, the pain of having to do so would make it an even more appropriate punishment.
