Page 66 of A Most Unlikely Lady
Edward’s firm mouth parted. ‘Ah. Of course.’ He returned his attention to the parchment. ‘Kissing. Touching. And then…’ Edward folded the parchment and placed it carefully onto the desk with his glasses. ‘Perhaps we should start at the top.’
Ivy blinked rapidly. ‘Yes. All right.’
‘Kissing.’ His gaze shifted from her lips to her breasts, to lower still before returning to her eyes. ‘Where would you like me to kiss you, Ivy?’
Where, indeed.
Directing their explorations seemed like a grand way to maintain control, but now, in the moment, she felt overwhelmed. Tapping her finger against her skirt, she focused on the V of skin peeking from Edward’s shirt. Tears threatened. Not from fear, but frustration. After speaking with Millie, she had a much more vivid view of what might happen between a man and a woman, but she had no idea how to communicate her desires to Edward.
‘Ivy, I can leave right now. Or we can sit and talk. Nothing need happen tonight if you do not wish it.’
Frustration slipped into anger as she watched his desire fade into concern. He misunderstood her hesitance. It wasn’t that she didn’t want him; it was that she wanted more than she could articulate. ‘I don’t want you to leave. I’m not some fragile thing, Edward. I don’t wish to be treated like I might break.’
Clenching his jaw and exhaling through his teeth, Edward crossed his arms over his chest. ‘All right. What do you want, then?’
‘I don’t know!’ She bit her lip as a tear escaped and tracked down her cheek. ‘I want more. That’s all I know.’
‘What about your list?’
Ivy shook her head. ‘There’s only those three things because I can’t… Millie explained what can happen, but I don’t know how it would actually work.’ She waved between the two of them. ‘With real people. Not that Millie isn’t a real person. Or Drake. That’s not what I’m saying.’
Edward grabbed her flailing hand and pulled her a step closer, pressing a kiss against her palm. ‘You haven’t done any of those things, so how can you know what you might like?’
‘Yes. Exactly.’ Relief eased some of her roiling emotions as she dashed the tear away with the back of her free hand. ‘I know you wish to give me control, and I want that. But I also want to learn what pleases me. What pleases you. I can’t direct you in areas where I have no expertise. I need a teacher, Edward, and you are the only man I trust to do the job.’
Edward exhaled a shaky breath. ‘You trust me?’
Something fell into place within her, a sense of rightness that solidified her decision. ‘I do.’
He shook his head, his mouth parting and his eyes sparking with an emotion she couldn’t name. Wonder, perhaps. Awe. It was overwhelming to have Edward look at her so intensely. She almost stepped away.
‘Right.’ He nodded his head, his expression shuttered once more. Pulling her closer, he stopped when their bodies were a breath apart. Before Ivy could retreat, he gripped her waist, holding her steady. ‘I propose an amendment to our earlier plan.’
Ivy was distracted from his words by the bite of strong fingers flexing against her hip. Wet heat bloomed between her thighs.
Letting go of her hand, he trailed his fingers up her arm, tangling them in her hair as he gripped her neck. Tipping her chin up, his words whispered against her lips. ‘The headmistress shall become the pupil. We will address each item on your list, but as your teacher, I will make additions as needed. I shall take the lead, but you always have the reins. You will stop me if you feel frightened or overwhelmed. But I won’t stop unless you tell me to do so.’
He knew she wasn’t a porcelain doll who might shatter at the least provocation. She was strong and resilient. Powerful and profound. But she was also fragile and frightened by her past. Some miracle of fate had brought her a man who understood the dichotomy of her soul.
‘So, if I tense up, or can’t find the right words, you won’t think it’s because I’m afraid?’
‘Exactly. I won’t assume just because you are feeling apprehensive or nervous that you wish to end our explorations. But if you say “stop”, I always will. Teaching you pleasure is my greatest honour, but I would never forgive myself if you walked away from this hurt in any way. Are you amenable to this plan?’
Yes!
It was a brilliant suggestion that alleviated the pressure of making all the choices while still giving her ultimate control. Her heart cracked and something warm and sweet filled her chest. ‘I am.’ Tilting her chin a fraction higher, she pressed her mouth against his, sealing their deal with a kiss and granting him permission to lead them on this adventure.
She thought he would continue kissing her, but he stepped back three paces and started unbuttoning his waistcoat. ‘You were looking at my throat earlier. Were you wishing to see more?’
The man is a mind reader.
‘Yes.’ It was a bold statement, and she felt the power of owning her desire. Shedidwant to see more of him, and she wouldn’t pretend otherwise.
I want to see all of him.
‘Have you ever seen a naked man before?’ As he spoke, Edward removed his waistcoat and draped it over the one chair in her room. Before she could answer, he began on the buttons holding his linen shirt closed.
If a fire broke out in the orphanage, Ivy wasn’t sure she could tear herself away from this moment. Edward undid the last button halfway down his shirt and waited.
