Page 74 of A Most Unlikely Lady
‘Sit.’ He gestured to the bed.
Pulling her wrapper tight around her, Ivy sat on the edge of the mattress, her muscles tense and ready. Edward grabbed the chair from his desk and sat opposite her, resting his forearms on his splayed legs. His gaze stayed fixed on the wooden floor between them.
‘Tell me, Edward.’ No matter how bad it was, she needed to know.
Her heart thumped painfully.
Damnation.
‘I’ve done something terrible, Ivy. Something I can never undo.’
‘What?’ She ached to reach out to him, but the distance was too great.
‘I killed my sister.’
Everything warm and soft within Ivy froze solid.
17
He couldn’t look at Ivy. Couldn’t bear to see her crystal eyes, so full of warmth and heat and desire, shift to fear and mistrust and loathing. Because of course she would hate him when he told her the truth. Just as he hated himself. But it was time. It was time to tell Ivy about Liza.
He exhaled a shaky breath and forced his mouth to form words. ‘Before I tell you, I must ask for your promise to keep certain things confidential. While my own reputation is hardly worthy of protecting, this story involved someone we both know. Someone who might be hurt were certain facts made public.’
Ivy straightened her spine and looked down her nose at Edward, every inch a duke’s daughter in her pious outrage. ‘I hope you know me well enough to trust my discretion, Worthington.’
‘I do trust you, Ivy. Implicitly.’
She hmphed out a breath. ‘I should hope so.’
God, she is marvellous.
Which made the next part of his story even harder to tell. Because he would lose any respect or devotion Ivy might feel for him. But it must be done.
‘My sister was only two years younger than me. Being so close in age, we grew up in each other’s pocket. To everyone else, she was Elizabeth, but to her closest friends – me and Philippa – she was Liza. Our father’s country estate abutted Philippa’s land and as children, the three of us spent most of our lives seeking each other out. Running through the fields, riding ponies, swimming in the lake that separated our properties. Liza trailed along behind me like a duckling behind her mama. Drove me mad. But Philippa didn’t mind. She claimed our games were always better with three.’ Edward smiled at the memories and wished he could end his story there, but once started, he found he couldn’t stop. ‘The summer before I was sent to Eton, we planned an escape. The three of us were going to sneak into the gypsy caravans and go on a grand adventure. Father found us sneaking into the stables one night, pillowcases stuffed with food. He thrashed me properly and I couldn’t leave my room for a week. Poor Liza was beside herself with guilt and any thoughts we had of escaping our predetermined futures died that night. I went off to Eton and Liza stayed in the country with Philippa.
‘How I missed them that first year. I’d never spent much time with boys my age and after months of unique torture only young men seem capable of, I longed to return home. When term finally ended, I raced back to the country, desperate for the comfort of the only two people who truly understood me. Philippa, Liza, and I fell back into our easy friendship as though no time had passed. But as I spent more time away with the boys at Eton, listening to them brag about their escapades, talk about the women they would bed or wed, my feelings for Philippa shifted. She was my closest friend and the only woman I could imagine spending my life with.’
‘You fell in love with her.’
Hearing Ivy speak the words out loud only reminded Edward what a foolish lad he’d been. His dry laugh was bitter with self-loathing. ‘I thought I was in love. But what does a twenty-year-old pup know of love? That summer, I had it all planned out. I would confess my undying devotion to Philippa and when I inherited my father’s title and lands, we would invite Liza to come and live with us.
‘She had been out in society for four years by then, but resolutely rejected any interested suitors, much to the frustration of my father. Liza had long professed to me her desire to remain single, and I convinced Father not to force her into a match too soon. Not until she had time to find the right man. But once Philippa and I wed, we could extend an invitation for Liza to stay with us, and she need never marry if she didn’t wish it. In that moment, I felt so goddamned generous. The benevolent older brother providing his sister with sanctuary.’
‘Philippa agreed to marry you?’ Ivy’s shocked gasp forced his gaze to her face and, if the story weren’t so tragic, he would have laughed at her wide-eyed expression of disbelief.
‘She never got the chance to give me an answer because I never asked. Fate spared me what would surely have been an unforgettable rejection.’
‘Ah.’ Ivy nodded, as though she understood. But she didn’t. Not yet.
‘I was young and stupid and caught up in the first flash of desire, bright and consuming in its newness.’ He shook his head in disgust at his own hubris. ‘Such a fool! I was so lost in my obsession, I failed to see what was right in front of me.’
‘What?’ Ivy leaned forward, her bright eyes focused on him, lips parted. Even in the depths of his darkest memories, her beauty distracted him for a moment. But he needed to continue. To tell her everything and be done with it.
‘Philippa and Liza. They were mad for each other. They’d been falling in love for years. Certainly longer than I’d been in love with Philippa. And unlike my flash of passion, I believe their love ran deep.’
‘Goodness. Philippa and your sister? That must have been quite a shock for you, Edward.’
The last thing he deserved was her sympathy. ‘It shouldn’t have been. If I’d only opened my eyes to see the truth instead of the fantasy I conjured.’
