Page 76 of A Most Unlikely Lady
He heard Ivy moving, the bed springs creaked, and then her warm hands covered his. Gripping his fingers, she pulled him from his seat. She wrapped her arms around him and held him close. ‘I am so very sorry, Edward.’
He shouldn’t have accepted her comfort; he didn’t deserve it. But instead of stepping away, his body curled around hers for one precious moment and he let himself sink into his grief. ‘Liza never would have killed herself if I hadn’t acted in a fit of petty jealousy.’ He spoke the harsh words against Ivy’s soft skin and felt her shudder. ‘Her blood is on my hands. So is Philippa’s eternal heartache. In one fucking moment, I destroyed the two women I loved the most.’ Rage seeped in, granting him the strength to do what he should have from the start. Pushing Ivy away, he turned, unable to face her. ‘I don’t deserve comfort from anyone, least of all you.’
The floorboard creaked as she stepped closer. Edward stiffened when her hands wound under his arms, wrapping across his chest, and pulling his back to her front. The soft pressure of her lips on his shoulder nearly shattered his control. ‘Why not me?’
She was everything he wanted and nothing he deserved. ‘Because I love you, Ivy.’ The words ripped from him, and she froze when they stabbed into her. Because his love was a terrifying blade that cleaved. His love destroyed the object of its affection. His love was abject destruction. ‘My love is a curse, Ivy. A jealous, angry thing. I swore the day Liza died I would never let myself ruin anyone else the way I ruined them. But I couldn’t even keep that promise. And now you stand here in my room, offering me consolation. How can I possibly allow myself to be with you when she met her end alone?’ His heart beat at a mad pace.
Pulling free, he spun to face her. To look into her eyes and show her the ugly face of his sins. She took a step back, her hands in front of her like a groom trying to calm a wild horse.
Good. You should be afraid.
Because he felt wild. He felt unhinged. He needed to convince her how undeserving he was of her love. His vow was cracking, and it would shatter if she didn’t leave immediately. ‘You want to know why I didn’t come to you twelve days ago? Why I can’t even look at you without wanting to tear my heart from my chest? Why I stay away when every part of me burns to touch you, taste you, show you all the ways your body can fly apart? Because I don’t fucking deserve you, Ivy. You need someone so much better than me.’
‘I don’t want anyone else, Edward.’
‘More fool you! Get out, Ivy. Now.’
But the stubborn woman refused to move. She just stood there. Staring at him.
Fine. If she won’t leave, I will.
He moved to the door, but she was faster, stepping in front of him and blocking his way.
‘No. I’m not going anywhere. Neither are you.’ Putting her hand flat against his chest, she held steady as he leaned closer.
‘You can’t stop me.’
She slid her hand up to his neck, pulling his head down to hers. ‘Watch me.’ Her lips were warm and sweet and perfect as she pressed them against his. With a groan of frustrated desire, Edward put one hand on the door next to her head and gripped her hip with his other. She pushed too far. Too hard. But he was going to push back.
‘You still want me? Even now? After everything I told you?’ He spoke into the shell of her ear before sucking the lobe into his mouth, biting hard enough for her to hiss. But his rough actions were like pouring oil onto a flame. Ivy’s hands dove under his shirt, her nails dragging across his heated skin, her thumb flicking his nipple. His cock grew hard, and his thoughts scattered like stones over ice.
‘I still want you.’ She arched her body against him. Edward was raw and crazed and desperate to feel anything other than the pain threatening to consume him. Her touch was light in his darkness and Edward lost the battle he had been fighting for so long.
I won’t break the promise I made to Liza, but neither will I break the promise I made to Ivy. I will show her how good it can be between two people. And then I will leave.
He was making a deal with the Devil for the price of his soul, but Ivy was worth the cost.
Pulling her wrapper and nightgown down both shoulders, he stopped at her waist, holding the material against the door so her hands were trapped, and her perfect breasts were bare to him. ‘Then you shall have me and live to regret it. Tell me to stop, Ivy.’
Holding his gaze, she bit her lip and slowly shook her head. ‘Don’t stop.’
* * *
Ivy’s heart broke for Edward even as her body burned. To have experienced such incredible loss and then to blame himself for his sister’s death. He was so very mistaken. It wasn’t his fault Liza died. His father forced her hand. Society and its twisted view of love certainly contributed. Edward was only guilty of acting like a young fool. Yet he mercilessly punished himself for his mistake. It was a marvel he hadn’t imploded.
He needs comfort. But he won’t accept it. So, I shall give him what he will take. Pleasure, and when he is too sated to refuse me, I will give him what he needs.
Because she cared for Edward. Deeply. And when a friend was hurting, Ivy would do everything in her power to offer them sanctuary.
In the midst of his many staggering confessions, Ivy hadn’t forgotten the one pertaining to her.
He loves me. Edward Worthington loves me.
This gave her pause. She liked Edward. Respected him. Admired him.
I trust him.
But did she love him? It was too much to consider. Not when his tongue was swirling over her taut nipple and sparks of pure glory were jolting through her veins, pooling in that magical place at the apex of her thighs.
