Page 74 of Cowboy Stole My Heart
She cried a few minutes longer, let herself wallow and hate and be miserable, and then she reached to open her glove box and pull out some tissues. She was better than this. She was strong and she wasn’t going to let a man break her. Sam was a lying bastard, and she couldn’t let herself cry over him or mourn him, because he’d never truly been hers in the first place.
Mia dried her eyes, glanced up to check how puffy and red they were in her mirror, and decided she didn’t give adamn. She had a long drive home, then she needed to prepare to hit the road. She had her next out of town competition in two days’ time, and she was more determined than ever to win now. Nothing was going to stop her proving herself and making it to the top. Nothing and no one.
He’d already ripped her heart out when he’d walked away from her. The stone-cold look of his gaze, the downturn of his mouth as he backed away like he was edging away from a fire; they should have been clues enough that he wasn’t interested in her the same way she was in him. Instead she’d shown up, hat in hand, wanting to see if she was wrong, to give him another chance. Wanting to see if she’d been wrong, if something else had been hurting him, trusting her instincts, instincts that had been so, so wrong. She would never make that mistake again.Never.
***
Sam waved to the crowd as he left the ring, knowing they were all there for him and that they deserved everything he could give them. But he just wasn’t feeling it today, and his performance had showed that. He was tired of doing the same thing, he was tired of answering the same questions and smiling at people who wanted more from him than he could give. And he was tired of feeling like a jerk.
When he’d walked out on Mia, he’d thought it was his only option. He’d panicked. She’d said the one word that terrified him, that he refused to accept or say in return, and she’d gone back on everything they’d agreed on. But what she’d said as he’d walked out had haunted him, every day and every damn night when he was lying awake desperately wanting to fall asleep. Her words still curled around him when he was least expecting it, washing over him, making him feel like the biggest asshole on the planet, even three weeks later.
“Are you telling me you don’t have any feelings for me?”
He forced a smile as some young fans came racing up to him, ducking beneath the ropes that kept him from the public as he left the venue. Sam stopped and bent to sign their books, ruffling heads and winking. He wasn’t hanging around for long after this one, but he wasn’t so much of a jerk that he wouldn’t stop to sign a book for some kids.
He grimaced as he returned to the stables to get his things, words echoing in his head, Mia’s face, her big eyes and downturned mouth, telling her just how much he’d hurt her. He was an A-grade jerk where she was concerned, and he fucking hated himself for it.
“I love you.”
Sam suppressed the bear’s bellow that was buried inside of him and stalked off to his horse truck. He’d brought two of his own horses for this exhibition, and he needed to load them and get back on the road again. He wasn’t overnighting, not here and not anywhere.
He owed Mia an apology, a damn big one, but he wasn’t going to give it to her. She was better off without him, and the more she hated him, then the easier it would make it for him to stay away. There were so many things unsaid between them, so many things he wished he could explain.
But there were reasons he didn’t get close to anyone, multiple reasons. He’d done the right thing, it just didn’t feel that way.Yet.
***
Sam stretched, smiling at the sensation of something warm against his face. He turned, slowly opening his eyes, ready to kiss… dammit! He pushed Blue away, wiping at his cheek and grimacing.
“How many times do I have to tell you not to lick me when I’m sleeping?” Sam muttered. “And off the bed!”
Blue obliged, disappearing from his room and leaving him to lie on his own. He’d been dreaming about Mia. Of course he’d been dreaming about Mia. Now that he wasn’t with her, she was the only thing he couldn’t stop thinking about.
“Morning!”
Sam groaned and pushed the covers back, deciding he might as well rise. His sister had been staying over while he was gone, and he was fairly certain there was no chance of sleeping in. The girls would either be awake or ready to wake, and he could do with a coffee before morphing into uncle mode for the day.
“Morning,” he called back through the open door, guessing Faith was in the kitchen. He pulled on jeans and a t-shirt and ran a hand through his hair.
“How was it?” she asked.
He shrugged, walking barefoot over to the coffee machine to see if it had any water in it. One of the first expensive purchases he’d made for the house was a coffee machine; he’d always joked that he needed an intravenous line with coffee in it, and he’d worked the thing to death since the day it arrived.
“Fine. How about you? What’s new?”
Sam held up a coffee cup and Faith nodded, so he made her one before doing his own. He passed hers over and nudged the sugar bowl in her direction.
“I’m looking forward to Nate coming home,” she said. “It’s tough looking after the girls without him, and he’s never been away from us this long.”
Sam sat down at the counter, toes curled against the cool metal of the barstools. “He’s still arriving home this afternoon?”
“Sure is. He’s coming to get us on his way through.” Shelaughed and leaned across the counter, resting on her elbows, cup between her palms. “It was nice staying here though. I think I’d make a good pet-sitter.”
Sam chuckled. “Yeah, I’ll keep you on.” Faith was usually great at coming by while he was away for longer periods, making sure the ranch hands were doing their jobs, but this time she’d asked him if she could stay and keep an eye on the mare who was due to foal. He’d promised Faith the foal for herself, since it was from one of his favorite mares, and he’d never seen his sister so excited about a horse before.
Faith usually spent her time at his place bugging him about his lack of an art collection, always pushing her personal passion on him, but today she was giving him a look he couldn’t decipher. He wasn’t even aware any of those existed, given how good he’d become at reading her over the years.
“What’s up?” he asked. “Shoot.”
