Page 54 of All Night with the Cowboy
“It doesn’t matter how I feel,” she said, squeezing her sister’s fingers back and using her other hand to wipe away her own tears, using the back of her knuckles to brush them off her cheeks. “There are so many reasons that we’re not right for each other—it’s too complicated and we’re just not supposed to be.”
Her sister gave her a long, worried stare. Lauren was certain it was probably the same look Hannah gave her kids when they hurt themselves or when she was fretting about them when they were unwell.
“Does he know why you ended things?” Hannah asked. “It seems only fair that he find out after all this time.”
Lauren nodded. “He knows. I think part of him realized all along that they had something to do with it, but he was still so angry about what I’d done. I just wish he’d known how much it hurt me, too.”
“Honey, he’d never have let you go if that was the case and you know it.”
She did know it, and she wasn’t sure if that made it worse or was somehow reassuring.
“And you’re sure you can’t make it work, or at least give it a try? Do you really want to walk away from him without giving things a chance?”
Lauren had turned that question over and over in her mind so many times, but there was no way around it. “It’s just not meant to be,” she repeated. “I love my job and he’s happy doing what he does, not to mention thefact that Mom and Dad will still think he’s a badass given our history and everything else. There are so many reasons why we just don’t work. Trust me, I’ve thought of them all!”
Hannah caught her eye and held it, not letting her look away. “Loving what you do for work is one thing, Lauren, but job satisfaction isn’t enough. It doesn’t keep you warm at night and it doesn’t give you someone to love when you’re old. There’s this little thing called ‘balance’ that most sensible people believe in. You heard of it?”
Lauren laughed. “I’ll meet someone one day,” she said, trying to convince herself as much as her sister. “But for now, just let me be, okay? Even if I was interested in something more, Tanner isn’t, so can we please just talk about something else?” And if he was, he’d had his chance and hadn’t said a damn word to make her think otherwise.
“Like how much I want to finish that piece of cake?” her sister asked.
Lauren grabbed her own fork and stabbed a mouthful. “Not a chance. I’m the one with the broken heart.”
Hannah waved to the waiter, laughing as he came over. “Can we have another piece, please? And cream on the side with the next one.”
Lauren smiled across at her sister, loving that she could sit and pour her heart out to her, and then commiserate by eating cake. She’d done the right thing in telling her, and she felt lighter already from sharing her pain.
Tanner was a great guy in so many ways, but it just wasn’t meant to be, and she had to admit that in order to move forward. He was handsome, they’d had greatsex, and they’d always had that explosive chemical reaction to each other, but that didn’t mean they were supposed to be in a relationship together. That ship had sailed long ago.
“So any hot new players joining the team this season?” her sister asked.
Lauren gave her a deadpan stare. “You know I don’t look at the players like that.”
Now it was her sister giving her a serious stare in reply. “Well, now that you’ve breached your work etiquette with Tanner, him being a client and all, I thought maybe your rules had relaxed.”
Lauren reached for the plate of cake as it was placed on the table. “You know what, I think I’ll eat this all myself now.”
If looks could kill, her sister would be long dead.
***
Tanner checked the weight of each bull as it passed through the weighing machine and read it out to be recorded. He’d been helping out Stretch, foreman at River Ranch, all morning; the day before he’d mustered the bulls in; and the days before that he’d helicoptered around his family’s ranch double-checking all the stock and doing an aerial survey of their fencing.
And now he was so damn exhausted and sore from being on his feet all day he was wishing he’d just left the ranch workers to it.
“Tanner, what the hell are you doing down here?” He groaned when he heard his father’s loud voice boom across the yards at him. “Don’t you have some place else to be?”
“Just giving the guys a hand,” he called back. “You know how I like to keep busy.”
His dad moved closer, but Tanner stayed focused on reading the weights.
“You trying to prove that you’re the heir to take over the ranch? Is that what this is?”
Tanner laughed. “Didn’t know I had anything to prove. Who the hell else would take over?”
He glanced at his old man and was surprised to see him raise his eyebrows as if in question.
“Mia? You thinkMiashould take over the ranch? Dammit, this day is turning out worse than it damn well started.” Was that look he was giving him serious or was the old man just trying to get a rise out of him?
