Page 58 of All Night with the Cowboy
Lauren exhaled. “Yeah.”
“It’s okay to love him still, Lauren. We can’t choose who we fall for.”
She knew that, but up until a couple of months ago, she hadn’t heard the name Tanner Ford in years. She’d moved on, created a life for herself that she loved, and now here she was acting like a lovesick teenager. Why was he so hard to get out of her head? And her heart? Why did she feel so affected from just one conversation with him? And why was she tingling all over at the thought of seeing him again?
“I thought he wanted me,” she whispered. “I thought he was calling because he felt the same, but it seems I actually was only a vacation fling for him.” She should have been relieved, but instead she felt defeated. A little part of her had believed that he’d come looking for her, that he’d fight for her and demand that she give them a chance. That he wouldn’t let her walk away. It had been a silly fantasy, but it had been in her head anyway.
Her sister didn’t say anything and Lauren just satthere, head down, counting to fifty before finally hauling herself up.
It was time to admit to herself that her fantasies about Tanner were just that—fantasies. There were so many reasons keeping them apart, and the sooner she stopped thinking that something could miraculously change that, the better.
***
Tanner was about to bite into his sandwich when Mia walked into the kitchen, hands on her hips and a look on her face that said she was not in a mood to be messed with. He’d been avoiding her for days, ever since he’d managed to find Lauren’s number all on his own without having to divulge a thing to his sister. But now she was on the warpath and he doubted he’d emerge unscathed.
“Where’s Dad?” she asked.
Tanner blew out a breath and set down his sandwich. “He’s started his treatment,” he said, annoyed that he was the one to have to tell her. Why hadn’t he told her before he’d left?
“Already? Why didn’t he tell me? I could have made arrangements and gone with him so he didn’t have to do it on his own.”
Tanner smiled at Mia, knowing how hard it must be for her not to be involved with what was going on. When the old man had told him, he’d processed it and respected his wishes that he wanted to do it all alone, but he knew firsthand that women didn’t find that quite so easy—well, women like his sister anyway. She had a heart of gold and she’d step across burning coals to help anyone in their family, but that was exactly what Walter didn’t want. He didn’t like a fuss.
“Mia, he wants to do this solo, you know how he is. I’d probably be the same.”
She looked exasperated as she stood, hands on hips. “He might say that but I’m sure he’d rather have me there. I could have taken care of him afterward and made sure he was eating enough, that he had everything he needed and—”
Tanner chuckled. “Mia, everything you just said is why he went alone. He wants to deal with it on his own, he needs his space, and if he needs us, he knows we’ll be there in a matter of hours. He promised me that the oncologist has all our details, okay? He has the best team treating him and we need to trust in the decisions he’s made.”
Mia let out a loud groan and sunk down onto one of the bar stools. He opened the fridge and got her a juice, pouring it into a tall glass and sliding it across the counter. Then he leaned down and picked up his sandwich again, thinking he’d dodged a bullet. She was so distracted with their dad she’d forgotten all about wanting to meddle in his life.
“You still want that phone number?” she asked as she raised the glass of juice to her lips.
Tanner finished his mouthful. Maybe he’d been wrong about that. “No.”
“So you got it from someone else so you didn’t have to confess your sins to your sister?”
Tanner ignored her and kept eating. She’d always managed to do that—it was like she could read his mind.
“Come on! What happened with you two? It’s obvious that something is going on.”
When he finished eating, he stayed propped on his elbows and gave Mia a long, hard stare. “I have no sinsto confess. I have no idea what you’re even talking about.”
“Bullshit! You’re the biggest sinner of all!”
He didn’t even bother answering her; he just brushed his crumbs onto his hand, tipped them onto the plate, and turned around to the sink. He preferred to have the house to himself, so he’d given their housekeeper a few days off, and he knew that Mia would notice that soon, too. He wasn’t about to admit that he didn’t wantanyonehere when Lauren turned up in the morning.
“Don’t tell me you’re trying to get back at her for what she did to you, Tan. I know she hurt you and you’ve never really let go of that, but you guys were so young and way too intense.”
Maybe he was trying to get back at her, but not in the way Mia was meaning. He wasn’t trying to punish her, he wanted to see her again, he wanted to look into her eyes and see if there was something more between them. Right now he had no idea if it had just been the combination of being isolated on a balmy island together with a history that made them know exactly what they were missing out on, or if it was actually something more. All he knew was that he couldn’t get her out of his head and it was driving him insane.
“I just wanted her professional help again, that’s all. You were right about her being good at her job. She’s amazing.”
Mia’s narrowed her gaze as her hands fell to her pregnant stomach. “If it was just for physical therapy purposes, you would have just come over and asked me for her number, Tan. It’s more than that, I can tell.”
He shrugged like he didn’t give a damn. “So what if it is?”
“You’re playing with fire, that’s all I’m going to say. Don’t go breaking her heart just because she broke yours.”
