Page 67 of All Night with the Cowboy
“I try my best not to be,” he joked. “And I truly am sorry for what I put y’all through back then. I might ride bulls for a living, but other than that I’m a pretty straight up kind of guy.”
“Well, that’s good to hear, but I have to confess I didn’t cook a thing. Lauren and her sister ran down to my favorite Italian restaurant and ordered the lot as a treat.”
“Well, it was still good, whoever made it. It’s been a great night.”
“Do you want to help me clear the table?” Lauren asked, rising beside him.
“Sure.” Tanner filled his hands with plates and stood back to let Lauren go first. Her brother-in-law had disappeared to put the kids down, letting the girls have a good catch-up at the table, and Tanner wondered how he’d get on trying to wrangle kids. Bulls were one thing, but kids? He wasn’t so sure about that.
He set the dishes down at the same moment as Lauren, and she stepped in close to him, shoulder to shoulder. He heard her big inhale and when he turned toher, she did the same, her cheek against his chest, her arms around his back. Tanner held her tight, not saying a word, just enjoying the feel of her in his arms, her warm, slender body wrapped so firmly to his. When she finally looked up, her head tilted back and her deep brown eyes locked on his, he slowly kissed her, taking his time, wanting her to know how much he loved her.
“I can’t believe what you did tonight,” she said, pushing back as she smiled up at him. “You’ve got balls, I’ll say that.”
“I wanted your parents to know that I cared for you enough to man the hell up,” he told her. “It was time I started behaving like a man instead of the boy who didn’t know how lucky he was to have you.”
She sucked in her bottom lip and he knew she wanted to say something, and she was trying to figure out how to say it.
“What is it?” he asked. “Whatever it is, I don’t want there to be secrets anymore.”
“Did you mean what you said about making an honest woman of me? Does that mean what I think it means?”
He dropped another kiss to her lips and brushed her hair from her face. “I lied when I told you I didn’t want anything more a fling,” he confessed, forcing himself to open up. It was now or never and he wasn’t about to ruin his one shot at being real with her. “I’ve only ever wanted you, Lauren. It just took me awhile to get my head around, I don’t know, my own shit I guess. I was still hurting from something that had happened so long ago.”
“I never stopped loving you,” she said, holding him tight. “But is that enough for this to work? I mean, one of us has to give something up or we’ll never see eachother, and I don’t even know if I can give you what you want.”
He stared down at her. What he wanted? “I want you, it’s as simple as that,” he said. “What is there that you couldn’t give me?” He saw tears well in her eyes and raised his hand immediately to brush them away. “Hey, why are you crying?”
She sighed and shut her eyes, but a tear escaped from the corner and ran slowly down her cheek. “You said at the ranch that you wanted a brood of children, and I used to want that too, but I don’t even know if I can have kids now.”
He wrapped his arms around her tight, pulling her to him and wanting to keep her safely cocooned against his chest forever to protect her. She looked so sad, full of so much hurt, and he’d have done or said anything to soothe her.
“I’m not here because I want your babies, Lauren. I’m here because you’re the one for me, and I don’t want to waste another day pretending I don’t love you.”
Shit, the word had slipped out. It was the first time in his life he’d said the L-word and he could feel the change in Lauren, the way her breathing became shallow and her hands stopped moving against his back.
She didn’t say it back to him, but she didn’t need to. The fact that she was giving him a chance right now was enough. More than enough.
“So you don’t mind? If we can’t fill your ranch with children?” she asked. “Hand on your heart it isn’t a deal breaker? Or the fact that I’m working eighty-hour weeks during the season?”
“Sweetheart, I’ll take however much you’re willing to give me. I promise that’ll be enough,” he said honestly.“And trust me, I think Mia will be filling the ranch with enough kids all on her own. Maybe we can just be the awesome aunt and uncle, which will mean me getting a whole lot more time alone with you anyway.”
“I have endometriosis,” she said quietly. “I would love kids one day, but it might make things tough, or maybe even impossible. I want you to know that I’d want them if I could though.”
He grinned down at her. “Whatever you want, baby.” Tanner said as he rocked his hips forward, kissing her when she leaned into him. “Whatever you want.”
“Huh-hmm,” Lauren’s father made a noise in his throat to announce himself.
Tanner pulled his lips from Lauren’s and looked sideways, jumping back when he saw her dad standing in the entrance to the kitchen.
“Hands off my daughter,” he said with a laugh. “It’d be embarrassing to have to throw a grown man out my front door for getting frisky with my youngest girl.”
Tanner gave her dad a salute and took a step back. “Speaking of your girl, would it be rude to steal her away before dessert?” Her dad shrugged and pointed to his daughter, making it clear that the decision was hers to make, not his. “There’s somewhere I’d like to take you, if you don’t mind skipping out of here early.”
Lauren looked curious and nodded, giving her dad a quick kiss on the cheek before taking Tanner’s hand, their palm and fingers intertwined.
“Where we going, cowboy?”
He winked and brought her hand up to his to kiss. “You’ll have to wait and see.”
