Page 59 of A Lot Like Love
Chapter 15
Ryder couldn’t recall the last time he’d been so nervous. He wiped his palms on his jeans and took a deep breath before knocking, waiting a second before pushing open the door.
“Hello, son.”
“Granddad,” Ryder said, smiling when he saw his grandfather sitting on the bed, dressed rather than in his pajamas. “It’s good to have you back home.” It’d been a while since he’d been in residence at the main house. His doctor had kept him in the hospital for the best part of two months now.
His granddad might be almost ninety, but he still had a thick head of silver hair, his body more frail than it had ever been but still impressive at well over six foot tall. Ryder doubted he’d lose that commanding edge until the day he died—just one boom of his voice and he always seemed to make people stop in their tracks to listen.
“What’s wrong?”
Ryder felt his eyebrows shoot up. How the hell did he know something was wrong? “Ah, well…”
“Come and sit,” his granddad said, leaning back into the pillows on the bed and gesturing toward the big armchair beside it. “You look like you need to get something off your chest.”
Ryder crossed the room and sat down, looking his granddad in the eye before dropping his head into his palms. He couldn’t do this. He was about to confess to the man he respected more than any other human being in the world, and the words just wouldn’t come.
“Tell me, son. You know you can talk to me about anything.”
“You’re never going to forgive me,” Ryder managed. “I wanted you to know first, before Nate and Chase find out, but…”
“Ryder, go over to the bookcase and pull out that black album.”
He hesitated, knowing he needed to just get it off his chest, but he did as he was told, returning with the album and placing it on his grandfather’s lap. Ryder sat back down again.
“You broke my heart the day you left here, Ryder,” the old man said, voice still as strong and commanding as it had always been. “I might have a heart of stone when it comes to business, but you boys are the most important things in my life. Always have been, always will be.”
Ryder balled his fists as he met his grandfather’s stare, refusing to give in to his emotions. Tears burned the backs of his eyes, but he refused to let one spill.
“I’m back now,” Ryder said, because it was all he could think to say. “And I’m not going anywhere.” He’d been gone too long, the better part of four years, but the time he’d spent with his granddad since he’d been home had told him he should have come back a long time ago. He’d missed out on too much time, time that he could never get back.
“You were young and you needed to find your way. But I want you to know how proud I was of you, even when you were gone.” His granddad opened the album, took his time looking at the first page, then nudged it toward him. “You might have been away, but you weren’t ever forgotten. Not for a second.”
Ryder reached out and took the book, staring at the first page, then the second, hardly able to believe what he was looking at.
“You have clippings from all my rodeo results?”
Clay nodded. “If you were mentioned, I have it,” he said. “I’ve got every write-up, results draw, photo, you name it.”
Ryder flicked through a few more pages before putting the book down on his lap and staring at his grandfather. “Why?”
“Because I’m proud of you.” Clay laughed, never breaking eye contact for a second. “You made a name for yourself doing what you loved. What’s not to be proud of?”
He’d had no idea. Ryder had left, been one hell of a rebellious teenager, and when he’d finally returned it had been to his brothers telling him to get his act together. Clay had never said anything other than to welcome him home, tell him how happy he was to have all three grandsons back together, but Ryder had always thought deep down than his grandfather had been disappointed in him.
“I never thought you approved,” Ryder said.
“Son, you made your own money when other kids were living off trust funds. I’ve always been proud of you.”
Ryder moved to the edge of his chair and put the book on the side table, reaching for his granddad’s hand. Their dad might have starved them of affection, but Clay had always made them feel loved. He was formidable to almost everyone except his grandsons. But Ryder had never known quite how much his granddad thought of him.
“I’ve made a huge mistake,” Ryder admitted, finding what he was about to say almost impossible. “What I’ve done, you’ll never forgive me.”
His granddad shook his head, patting his hand. “There’s nothing you could do that’s unforgivable. Tell me what you’ve done and we’ll figure it out together.”
Ryder pulled back, leaned into the chair, and blew out a big breath. It was now or never. “I was playing cards with Parker. I’d been winning all night and I bet my third of the ranch.”
Clay didn’t say a word, just stared back at him before looking away, his gaze now through the window and into the distance.
