Page 79 of A Lot Like Love
Chapter 21
“So let me get this straight.”
Chloe curled up on the sofa beside Shelly, her spoon lodged in a tub of ice cream as she pulled the blanket over herself. When she retrieved it she slowly licked the chocolate off, taking her time to avoid having to look at her friend.
“You have an amazing time with Ryder, your words not mine,” Shelly said, waving her spoon as she spoke. “He whisks you away on his jet, you have crazy good sex, and he’s fun and rich.And then you just walk away, never to be heard from again.”
Chloe pulled a face. “You make me sound like a real bitch.”
Shelly patted her hand and frowned. “Sweetheart, youwerea real bitch to him. I’m sorry, but you were.”
“We had an arrangement,” Chloe told her. “I got his ranch back, we had some fun, and then it had to end.”
“Did you sign a contract with an end date? You know the kind with a penalty clause if you don’t follow through?”
Chloe dipped her spoon back into the ice cream and rolled her eyes. “I know what you’re getting at but it just wasn’t that simple.”
“No, it was that simple, you’re just scared.”
Chloe glared at Shelly. “I’m not scared. You have no idea.”
“Bull,” Shelly insisted. “You’re scared you were falling for him and you couldn’t stand not being in control. I know you better than you know yourself sometimes, Chlo, and you had it bad for that guy. Just admit it.”
“Fine, I like him. A lot. But it was better to end now than…”
“Than what?” Shelly asked. “Seriously, are you that scared of giving a relationship a chance?Any relationship?Could it be any worse than how you feel walking away from him now if it didn’t work out in a month or a year?”
“It wasn’t a relationship,” Chloe snapped. “We were having fun and now it’s over. End of story. It wasn’t real to begin with.”
Shelly put her ice cream down on the coffee table and reached for the remote, hitting play on the DVD. “You know you can deny it all you want, but you’re not fooling anyone but yourself.”
Chloe didn’t answer. Shelly was right, of course she was. But what could she do about it now? She’d walked out on Ryder without even saying goodbye. There was no chance he’d forgive her now, and part of her knew that’s why she’d done it, so he couldn’t talk her out of it and so she couldn’t just change her mind and go back to him.
Shelly paused the DVD and reached for her hand, holding tight and squeezing. “Can you just tell me why you’re so scared of something happening? Why can’t you just see what happens with him?”
Chloe took a big breath, swallowing away the choke of emotion that was bubbling hard in her throat. Growing up she’d moved around so much that she’d never had time to make friends, hadn’t found it easy to make close girlfriends, which meant that talking about her feelings or decisions didn’t come easy to her. If her mom hadn’t disappeared and left her, maybe things would have been different, but she hated thinking aboutwhat ifs.
“I can’t,” she said. “I just…”
Shelly squeezed harder. “You can. What’s scaring you, Chloe? You don’t have to bottle it all up.”
Chloe pushed her ice cream away and curled up under the blanket, tucking her feet up and leaning back into the sofa. She shut her eyes, biting on her lower lip before finally meeting Shelly’s concerned gaze.
“Anyone I’ve ever let close to me has let me down, except you,” she said. “I don’t want to fall in love with a man and let him hurt me. I don’t want to rely on anyone. I don’t…” Chloe tried to laugh but it sounded more like a cry. “Sorry, you don’t need to hear all this.”
Shelly leaned forward and put her arms around her, drawing her in for a big hug. “Sweetheart, if not me then who?”
Chloe blinked away tears. “I’m not used to letting anyone in.”
“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” Shelly asked. “That’s why you ran away from him. Because you love him.”
A big sob escaped Chloe’s mouth, and the more she tried to fight it the worse it became. Tears ran down her cheeks as she let her friend hold her, wishing to hell she’d never met Ryder in the first place. All these years, all her adult life, she’d refused to let anyone in, never let a man get close enough to hurt her, and yet here she was sobbing over a man she’d chosen to walk away from.
“It’ll all work out,” Shelly whispered as she stroked her hair. “Ryder King isn’t a man to give up when the going gets tough, you hear me? I’ll bet he’ll forget all about you leaving him like that if you tell him how you feel.”
Chloe shook her head, wiping away her tears with her hand. Shelly was wrong. Ryder would hate her for what she’d done, and besides, he’d only wanted her to stay longer because they’d had so much fun together. She had to get her life back on track, finish her degree, make a future for herself. All she’d ever wanted as a child was stability, and she was going to work damn hard to give it to herself.
“Still feel like watching the movie?” Shelly asked, passing her the tub of ice cream again and holding up the remote.
