Page 143 of Misery
Yesterday's clothes—no, the day before yesterday.
The same FSU sweatshirt she was wearing when she visited Dad at the clubhouse.
"Jesus, what happened to you?" I abandon my painting, pulling her into a hug.
She smells like stress, sweat, and stale coffee.
"I need to tell you something," she says against my shoulder. Her voice is muffled, thick with unshed tears. "But youcan'ttell Mom and Dad."
Saga takes the hint, disappears into the kitchen with her coffee.
I hear her talking quietly to Emil, giving us privacy.
We sit on the couch, Helle pulling her knees to her chest like she's trying to make herself smaller.
Disappear maybe.
"I'm dropping out."
"Of college? Why?"
"I'm failing everything. Haven't been to class in two months. Maybe three." She picks at a hole in her jeans, making it bigger. "After what happened to you, I just... I couldn't focus. Couldn't pretend everything was normal when my sister almost died. When you were attacked and I wasn't here. When everything fell apart."
"Helle—"
"I know I should have said something sooner. But Mom and Dad have enough to deal with. Dad's missing fingers, you and the whole Thiago situation, the club stuff, Mom's head injury. They don't need to know their other daughter is a failure."
"You're not a failure."
"I have a 0.8 GPA, Elfe. That's literally failing. I haven't turned in a single assignment since spring break. My professors have stopped emailing to check on me."
The weight of her secret sits between us. Another burden in a family already carrying too many.
"So what's your plan?"
"I don't know. Drop out officially before they kick me out. Maybe get a job. Figure my shit out." She wipes her nose with her sleeve. "I just need time before Mom and Dad find out. They're going to be so disappointed."
"What do you need from me?"
"Just... if they ask, tell them I'm doing fine. That classes are good. Finals are coming up, I'm studying hard. I'll figure something out, maybe community college or trade school. But they can't know. Not yet. Not while everything else is chaos."
I think about secrets, about how they eat at you from inside like acid.
But I also think about timing, about parents who've been through enough.
About choosing which truths to tell when.
"Okay. But you have to tell them eventually."
"I will. Just not now." She looks at me, really looks.
Studies my face like she's trying to read my thoughts. "Are you okay? With Oskar? After finding out about the stalking?"
"I'm getting there."
"But you're staying with him?"
"Yeah."
