Page 52 of SEAL'S Baby Surprise
“Sure,” she says. “Everything will be fine. It’s all right, Austin. I’ve heard that condoms break sometimes.” Then she giggles. “Will you be able to get it back off? It looks kind of funny.”
“Sure,” I say. “Just give it a few minutes, and it will come right off.”
“What happens if it isn’t all right?” Lee asks.
“Sweetheart,” I say, “How could it not be all right? We’re not going to get pregnant from this one time. I bet it’s not even your fertile time of the month. It’s going to be just fine. And by the way, it felt great!”
Lee giggles a little at that. “It did, didn’t it? Just let me clean up a little bit, Austin.”
I hear the sound of water running in the bathroom. My member relaxes a little, and I can roll the ruins of the condom off it. In my imagination, I wonder what kind of baby Lee and I would make.
Would it be a boy or girl? Whatever it might be, it would be darned cute. Idly, I wonder how Julia would feel about a baby brother or sister.
In a little while, a subdued, quiet Lee comes back to bed. I take my turn in the bathroom, then we snuggle together under a light sheet.
Lee snoozes off first, relaxing over onto her back. I fall asleep with one hand resting lightly on her belly.
24
LEE
I meantto leave the next day. But somehow, it just seems silly. Who is going to connect the pink-haired society girl with the fuzzy-headed blond, dressed in old khakis and a t-shirt that says, ‘I heart paddle-boarding’?
I sit outside the van in the chair Austin got for me and stare at the coffee cup he bought for me. Who am I?
Nobody, that’s who. I am Nobody. I always loved the Emily Dickinson poem. I’d never realized that I wanted to be Nobody.
Austin doesn’t seem to need for me to be Somebody. He doesn’t even seem to mind that I’m not good at cooking.
I am getting better at paddle-boarding, and Austin has enrolled Julia in swimming lessons at the Y. So, twice a week, I walk over with her and walk back. Austin says that helps him a lot because he can get his work done while we are gone.
I’ve taken over doing the housework. Me, a housekeeper. Six weeks ago, I would have said, “You’ve got to be kidding.” But the van is so small that if you don’t keep up with it, pretty quickly you can’t walk from the side door to anyplace important.
Austin won’t let me near the grill since I burned my hand, which makes it hard to learn to cook.
But he doesn’t seem to have a problem with me learning to paddle-board. We spend a lot of time on the water, me, Austin, Julia, and Ark. I feel at home there, and I feel safe. I never felt safe when I was growing up.
Mom and Dad had never seemed to be very close. I mean, I guess they must have been at some time, because there are three of us. I have two big brothers, Andrew and Richard.
Andrew had been kind of like a protector for me, but Richie had been a royal pain. He’d always teased me, broken my toys, and torn up my books.
I had never quite understood why I’d been sent to boarding school. I guess Mom had wanted to find herself, or something. I remember her yelling something at my dad. I must not have been much older than Julia is now.
Then I had been sent off to a boarding school. It hadn’t been a Mrs. Minton house of horrors, but it hadn’t been a fun place either.
I’d been lonely most of the time, and the bigger girls had been mean to all us little ones. I’d never felt safe, so I used to run away a lot.
At first, it had been Andrew who came to get me from wherever I had run to, then later on, it had been Richie. Richie was mean about it.
I hated going back. But it was also Richie who bought dresses for my boutique when I was just starting my own business. Families are complicated.
But I never felt safe. I thought marrying the Bluebeard would make me safe. But he had scared me most of all, so I’d had to run away again.
Feeling safe seems important right now. My whole body feels off in some way. I’ve been keeping crackers and a can of ginger ale by the bed so I can nibble and sip before I get up.
I’ve not mentioned it to Austin, and he doesn’t seem to have noticed. He seems really focused on some work thing right now. It doesn’t seem like a good time to bother him.
I stop thinking and just look around the beach. It’s getting close to lunch time, so most people are either at work or having a siesta. Julia is at Mother Hubbard’s, and Austin is hunched over his tablet.
