Page 45 of SEAL'S Baby Surprise
“He is the best dog ever,” I say, getting up. My eyes prickle, and my nose is all snuffly. “But I think I need to go wash my face and hands now.”
“All right,” Austin says.
You can almost hear the wheels turn…I’d been sleeping with Ark whenever Julia wasn’t at home, and not shown any allergy signs up till now. Well, I hadn’t claimed that was why my eyes were watering, now had I? So, it doesn’t really count as a lie, not really, now, does it?
I go into the van, close the bathroom door behind me, and let the tears flow. Dammit! I love my life here so much! Compared to the life I used to have, it is heaven. Austin is the center of it, but there is Julia, Ark, the Turners, Mrs. Hubbard, and Pops. Never in all my life had I lived in a place I love more than this place or been around people who genuinely seem to like me for just me.
I don’t sob out loud. If I don’t let Austin know what is coming, maybe we can have one more day. Just one more lovely day where I don’t have to pretend, don’t have to live on salads when people are looking, and scarf down hamburgers and ice cream in private because I’m so hungry I can’t stand myself.
And where, even though they don’t know me as anyone except the girl who has a buzz cut and can do handstands and cartwheels, they like me. Just me…for my own self. Not because I have money, or because I’m pretty, or give them a paycheck or anything.
I stuff a terry washcloth between my teeth and bite down on it to keep from letting the sounds of my pain escape. My tears flow like ocean water running down the beach from a ruined castle of sand.
There’s a tap on the door. “Lee?” Austin calls to me.
I run water, splash it on my face. “I’ll be out in a minute,” I say. Then I fake sneeze a couple of times or two — I had gotten pretty good at it in boarding school. Sometimes a day in the infirmary was the only way you got any peace.
When I come out, Austin folds me in his arms. “Don’t you like it here?” he asks.
“I love it,” I say, trying hard not to start crying again. “It is the best place ever.” I almost say,and I love you, but I don’t because I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep. I don’t know how in the world I’m going to give up Austin, because he is the best guy in the whole universe. When God made him, He broke the mold. There won’t ever be another Austin.
I bury my nose in his armpit. Sound crazy? Maybe so. But it smells like his Old Spice deodorant and Austin perspiration,making an indefinable mix that says “home” and “safe.” And loved. Yeah, that, too. I had no idea what the word meant before Austin. Before Ark. And, yes, before Julia. Austin smells like family, the family I had never known.
And I am going to have to leave them to keep them safe. But one more day, please unkind fates of the universe, please just one more loving and lovely day.
When I go out to sit with Julia and Ark while Austin cooks, I almost cry again. The hamburgers and the smoke from the grill all mix up with the salt sea smell of the ocean, and the hot spicy odor of someone making chili somewhere in the neighborhood.
It is like riding the roller coaster. Up, up, up, then that terrifying plunge followed by the suspense as you hit the top of the loop before coming down again.
I run my fingers through Ark’s fur. The long guard hairs are coarse, but his undercoat is soft and thick. He makes a grumbly noise almost like a purr and leans against my knee.
“Ark likes you,” Julia says. “And so do I.”
“I like you, too,” I say, struggling to keep the words even past the big lump in my throat.
I am saved from having to say anything more by Austin pushing Ark out of the way and placing a folding table in front of Julia and me.
He loads it up with a plate of burgers, buns we picked up at the fair, fat smashed potatoes — all soft in the middle, and crispy around the edges, pickles, ketchup and mustard, sliced watermelon, and bottles of jasmine tea.
It is a feast fit for kings, but there is just us to enjoy it. Even Ark gets some, although his portion is a plate of rice cooked in beef broth vegetables and topped with crumbled burgers. I sneak him bits of watermelon, which he seems to enjoy immensely.
I put the newspaper and all thoughts of tomorrow out of my head, and just focus on the day and the evening. Because today has been perfect, and I want to remember it forever.
21
AUSTIN
The morning after the carnival,I find Lee curled up in my big chair outside. She is hugging her knees and looking out to sea. She looks up at me with those amazing blue eyes of hers. They look damp and a little red, as if she’s been crying.
“Let’s not send Julia to school today,” she says. “Let’s have a family day. Does she know how to paddle-board?”
As it happened, I had been teaching my daughter paddle-boarding and water safety. “Some,” I say cautiously. I don’t want Lee to think that Julia could do it on her own.
“Maybe that little nook just below the island?” she says.
“Sure,” I say. “There’s no reason Julia needs to go to school every day. It’s just been a good routine for both of us. If we have her with us, we won’t have much time for each other.”
“That’s all right,” Lee says. “She’s a good kid, and she deserves some quality time.”
