Page 36 of Off the Grid
“I don’t bite.”
“That’s a shame.” She fought a wince.Now is not the time for inappropriate sexual humor. Stupid defense mechanisms!
He arched a brow, as though to say,Really?“Body heat. It’s survival 101.”
She sighed.
He was right and she was being an idiot. They were still lost in the middle of the woods. Getting hypothermia out of sheer stubbornness would get her nowhere.
McKenzie lay down cautiously, putting her head against his arm. His muscles stiffened at her touch. She swallowed, suddenly finding her chest was tight. He didn’t give her time to protest. Leo rolled over, closing the distance between them, sealing her back to his stomach in an airtight embrace. His other arm slid around her hip, cradling her close, encasing her in a cocoon of warmth. Her heart thundered in her chest, but she was bone tired and exhausted. Before any of her instincts had time to kick in, McKenzie fell sleep, at peace against all odds with her current situation.
- 13 -
Leo
Leo couldn’t remember the last time he’d spent the night with a woman. Sex was one thing. It was fulfilling a need. It was meet someone at a bar, go to her place, and leave a few hours later. It didn’t need to be personal. But spending a whole night curled in a woman’s embrace, holding her close—that was something else entirely.
He was terrified.
Night was the only time when he felt truly vulnerable. During the day, he could pretend all he wanted. He could feign confidence. He could laugh things off with a smile. He could fool everyone. In sleep, his defenses were down, and that was when the demons crept out of hiding. He’d suffered from nightmares for as long as he could remember. As a boy, he imagined monsters. As a teen, he envisioned his father coming back to seek revenge. They were just dreams, easy to shake off as soon as he woke up and remembered where he was. The war changed everything. Whenever he closed his eyes, he was back there in the desert, back with the gore and the screams. They weren’t made-up fantasies. They were memories that took hold of his mind and didn’t let go, claws that dug so deep he couldn’t shake them off. The terror was real because his body remembered it, his mind clung to it, a self-inflicted punishment for all the bodies he’d left behind.
Leo had never been to a doctor—he knew plenty of guys who had it worse—and when he’d applied for a job at the bureau, he kept the information to himself. The last thing he needed was to fail the psych evaluation. Hiding it wasn’t all that hard. He never screamed that he knew of. He never cried out or made noise. He thrashed occasionally. Sometimes he’d wake up on the floor or with his sheets in a tangle or with bruises he couldn’t place. It got better over time. He read up on therapies and learned different techniques to help control it. None of his roommates at the FBI Academy ever commented. Nate was the only person who Leo suspected of knowing the truth, but his partner didn’t ask questions. And his job made it easy to avoid relationships—to make sure no one got close enough to see the cracks in his shell, to get cut by them.
Tonight with McKenzie, though, there was nowhere to run. She needed his body heat, they needed to stay together, and if he was being honest, he enjoyed the feel of having another person so close. Isolation was safe, but was also lonely. As soon as he closed his eyes, he’d be laid bare. There was no way to know what might happen. Would he hurt her? Would she see the hurt he tried to hide?
Those questions haunted him as he fought to remain awake long after McKenzie’s body went slack within his arms. Her breathing was smooth and even, a soothing rhythm. Her heartbeat echoed in his chest, thumping against his skin until his own slowed to match. She was tall and made of lean muscle, yet somehow, still soft in that way a woman’s body was made to be. Her waist seemed crafted to hold his arm. Their bodies molded together, each curve so perfectly aligned there was no space in between. They were both dirty and sweaty, but as he settled his head behind hers, a floral scent still clung to her hair, fresh and vibrant. Those blonde locks were molten silver in the moonlight, her pale skin a creamy white, both bright against the dark forest beyond.
Leo wasn’t sure when he eventually succumbed to sleep, but he woke at the sharp pain of an elbow jabbing into his ribs.
“Leo, shut up,” McKenzie grumbled, hardly awake.
“What?” He came alive in an instant, eyes flying open as he breathed deep, pulling air into empty lungs. He’d been right on the edge, right on the precipice of something. It was as if she’d caught him right before he’d gone tumbling over a cliff. “What?”
“Shut up.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“I can’t sl—” The words faded as a long yawn took her voice captive. “—with all that racket.”
He blinked, bringing the world back into focus. The sky was still dark and speckled with stars. The woods were quiet. He’d rolled over onto his back, but McKenzie was still in the exact same position on her side. He released a long breath and smiled.Snoring. I must’ve been snoring.“I’m not entirely sure how your inability to sleep is my problem.”
She groaned in protest. “Just…shut…”
She was out before she finished the sentence. Leo rolled his eyes.We’re in the middle of the woods sleeping on hard dirt, and I’m the thing keeping her awake?But it was just snoring—not talking or screaming or shouting. Just a little snore or two—practically nothing. He calmed his thrashing heart and rolled over onto his side, bringing his arm around her waist again. She shivered and wriggled closer, burrowing against his chest. He surrendered to her warmth and her curves, slipping back to the sleep before he had a hope to fight it.
He came alive again at the sound of McKenzie’s scream.
Leo was on his feet immediately. His mind was still on a battlefield. Bullets popped in his ears. Men shouted. Agonized cries filled the air. A mix of sand and dust and ash dried his throat. Leo’s hand went for the gun at his waist, fingers clicking the safety off on instinct. In a blink, he’d dropped to the ground and pulled McKenzie behind him, then lifted his weapon in the air.
He blinked.
Once.
Twice.
But there were trees. It was light out. It was quiet, nothing but rustling leaves and chirping birds. The world was calm, serene even. Because he was in the woods with McKenzie on American soil, and no one else was around. With a sigh, Leo dropped the weapon and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to shake the potent memories from his head as the real world came back into focus.
“I’m sorry, Leo,” a pained voice whispered behind him. “I didn’t mean—”
