Page 58 of Off the Grid
“Right, right,” McKenzie hastened to say, shaking her head until it was clear. Of course he hadn’t read her mind. Of course he wasn’t overanalyzing everything that had happened between them. He was a guy. They’d gotten drunk. They’d had sex. End of story and back to the mission. He just wanted to get her home safe so he could return to his normal life. McKenzie lightened her tone. “And what’s that?”
“Going over there and asking.” He shrugged and turned back toward the window. “This is a lake house, right? There’s got to be a kayak or a boat or something.”
“I guess…”
“Let’s take a look around and see what we find.”
Leo strode by her, utterly focused on the job at hand and the new plan circulating inside his head. McKenzie’s fingers twitched with the need to reach out and stop him.
Leo, wait.If only she had the strength to open her mouth and speak. He would freeze. He would turn and look at her over his shoulder. She would say all the words bubbling inside.What you said last night meant a lot to me too. I haven’t laughed like that in so long. I can’t remember the last time I felt so happy. Thank you for making me feel wanted. Thank you for making me feel seen. It meant more than you could ever know.
Instead, McKenzie let him pass and lifted her mug to her lips. Taking a long sip, she swallowed all those sentiments back down and buried them deep. In a few hours, everything would be back to normal and she had to be prepared. Leo would drop her off at her apartment, and then he’d say goodbye, turn around, and leave. What else was there for him to do? He lived in DC, she lived in New York. He was a federal agent, she was a pastry chef. He came from a house full of love, she wasn’t sure she understood the word. She’d practically thrown herself at him last night, not giving him the chance to say no. Maybe he’d just been acting polite—really, really fucking polite. Maybe this happened with all the women he rescued. Maybe she was nothing special. Maybe they were nothing special. Maybe she’d made it all up in her own damn mind.
Idiot, she thought as she followed him outside in search of a boat.
It had taken Leo a life-or-death situation and days on the run to break down her walls, but it only took a second for McKenzie to build them right back up. It was better to be the one leaving than the one left behind. She simply wasn’t strong enough to have her heart broken again—it had already been split into too many pieces.
- 21 -
Leo
He couldn’t help but think McKenzie was quieter than normal as they paddled their way across the lake using an old kayak they’d found tied up behind the house. He’d tried to talk to her about what happened last night. He’d tried to thank her, but she’d shot him down with an easy smile and a breezyyou’re welcome. Part of him had been relieved—the last things he wanted to talk about were his deepest, darkest insecurities and fears. It was easy to return to his usual mode of pretending everything was all right. Yet part of him had been hurt by the brush-off, because he’d meant what he’d said—her words had touched him, deeper than her body ever could’ve. Yet McKenzie, it seemed, had been unaffected by the whole affair. Now, as they glided toward the wedding on the opposite shore, she was quiet—and he was quietly going crazy. He didn’t know what to say. The only topic he wanted to discuss, the only topic on his mind, was off limits.
Was it a trick of the light, or did you mean to look at me as if I were perfect, as if all the scars and damaged bits and rough edges somehow made me better? Was it just the alcohol? The atmosphere? The moment? Or was it something more?
Did you really believe it when you said I’m not a monster?
Or were they just words?
Leo tried to focus on the sound of their paddles slicing through the surface of the lake, the trickle of water dropping off the fins as they were lifted into the air, the chirp of the birds hidden among the trees, the gentle rustle of the leaves, but there was an absence he couldn’t ignore. The roar of her silence was driving him mad.
“Hello!” Leo shouted as they neared the shore, just to finally speak.
A middle-aged man who’d been clearing a large tree branch paused and stood up. His eyes widened when they landed on Leo and McKenzie in their bright red kayak. Leo could only imagine the sight the two of them made. They’d changed back into their own clothes, which were dirty as hell from the days before—a little bloody and covered in muck. The massive cut and bruise on McKenzie’s forehead probably wasn’t helping either.
“Hello! You two okay?”
“We’re not injured,” Leo called back and paddled two more times with a little extra oomph. “But we are looking for some help.”
The kayak hit mud and slid, coming to a stop a few feet shy of the dry sand. He jumped out, uncaring as his feet sank in the murky water, then pulled the boat the rest of the way to shore. The man ran over with a curious glint in his eyes and offered McKenzie a hand. She grabbed Leo’s backpack from the center of the kayak before accepting the help.
“What can I do?” the man asked as he pulled her to her feet.
“We got stuck outside in the storm yesterday,” Leo said and motioned toward their clothes, trying to explain their appearance. The real situation was too much to dive into now. A cover story rolled smoothly through his lips. “The house we rented lost power, so we couldn’t get the garage door to open to get back inside, and both of us forgot to bring a key when we went on our hike. We thought you guys might have power? I have my phone, but it got water damaged with all the rain. We want to call our friends so they know we’re okay.”
“Sure, sure.” The man nodded. “I’m John, by the way.”
“Leo.” They shook hands.
“McKenzie.”
“Well, folks, we have power, but phone service is out all around the lake. We’re running on our generator—no internet, no cable, no nothing. Trees are down all over the roads. The bride is in a state of panic, as I’m sure you can imagine. But I think the best man, Drew, has cell service—he was calling some of the guests who were supposed to arrive last night and the caterers and the band. Just let me…” He turned and then lifted his hands to his lips, cupping the air around them. “Drew!”
Another guy, probably mid-twenties and closer to McKenzie’s age, spun at the sound of his name being called. “Yeah?”
“Get over here!” John screamed, then turned back to them. “Pardon the shouting, but it’s effective.”
“No problem,” Leo said smoothly.
